Nipple Torture – Page 3 – Femdom Resource

A holiday from yourself

Yesterday’s post about ‘play acting’ got me thinking more about personas and how we constantly project partial elements of our personalities into the world. It struck me that intense BDSM play represents an almost unique situation in that regard.

I’m someone whose is constantly debating and editing myself. That’s not to say I’m insincere or fake. It’s just that my brain is constantly running and adjusting to the world around me. I like to analyze, pick out subtext and fine tune how I present to the world. I think most people do the same thing, either consciously or subconsciously. Unless someone is a totally self-centered jerk, there’s always a desire to understand how we’re being perceived by others.

The one and only time I think that’s not true is during intense BDSM play. When I’m tied down and being beaten there’s no room in my brain for analysis or reflection. When a needle starts to slip into my skin my only thought is to that sharp slippery sensation of pain. When nipple clamps are ripped away all that matters is the rush of blood and the tingling nerves. The combination of mental submission (which removes choice) and physical pain (which removes thinking) makes for a holiday from the self.

I wouldn’t say that my persona in those intense moments is somehow more true or real than my day to day one. Nobody beating my naked ass is getting to somehow learn the secrets of the inner me. But those are the times when I can forget about my persona and how I’m perceived, and just be in that very physical pure moment.

I’ll finish with an image of someone very much in an intense physical moment. I’d guess the only thing on his mind right now involves those nipple clamps and exactly when she’s going to tug them free.

This is from the Divine Bitches site.

Art and reality

One of the things I enjoy about erotic artwork is its ability to portray the strange and fantastic. Artists like Sardax, Namio Harukawa and Augustine do a wonderful job of capturing the extremes of sexual fantasies in a way that still connects with people. Yet the thing I like most about the piece below is it’s realism. I don’t mean that in the visual sense – it’s clearly not a hyperrealistic drawing – but in the mood and style of play it captures. It feels like a moment from a scene I might do or have done. There’s no crazy bondage positions, massive strap-ons or extreme outfits. Just some rope, clothespins and a nice sense of intimacy and connection.

The artist is Tingos and you can see more of his work on his tumblr. I found it via the Lunar Black tumblr.

The infinite virtual bookshelf

After my last post on the topic of inadvertent data sharing with family members, Servitor left a comment reminding me that separate user accounts can help solve the problem. That’s actually very good advice. All my laptops are Windows devices and it does an excellent job of providing sand boxed environments for each user. Keeping separate email and social media accounts for kinky stuff is an obvious thing to do, but extending it all the way to your local device also makes a lot of sense.

Unfortunately iPads and apps are terrible in this respect. The Kindle app is particularly bad. Not only does it show all your books in its library, but I can’t even find a way to delete stuff from the shelf. I’ve got all sorts of random porn and kinky writing mixed in with history books, classic crime novels and modern fiction. When I visit someone’s house I always enjoy being nosy and browsing their bookcases. Unfortunately the kindle app designer thinks that not only should your bedroom and living room bookcases be equally on display, but also those well thumbed magazines stashed under your virtual mattress. Now I live in fear that anyone using my iPad will browse my electronic bookcase and get an eyeful of some bizarre BDSM fiction that I purchased on a horny whim in a lonely hotel room many moons ago.

Here’s what I think should have happened to the kindle app designer the day after he came up with his initial design specs. Maybe an hour or two with these two ladies would have encouraged him to try a bit harder.

On edge

I’m feeling a little edgy right now. I’m kink deprived. My mother is paying a rare visit from the UK and has been staying with me for the last few weeks. I’m a less than perfect son in many ways, but somehow I can’t bring myself to claim I’m working late and leave her home alone while I sneak off to visit a dominatrix. My moral compass may not always point to true north, but somehow even to me that doesn’t seem right.

One thing I’ve discovered with her visit is how hard it is to sanitize my media devices. A few years ago I had a single computer running Internet Explorer. I’d clear the history and archive the bookmarks and I’d be good. Now with multiple laptops, iPads, browsers and apps, I’ve no idea when random porn is going to show up. Mom borrowed my iPad the other day and after she was done I noticed that one of the unselected Safari tabs was pointing at a femdom tumblr site and another at a pro-domme twitter feed. I could swear I closed them, but I’m guessing the software decided it knew better, and magically restored my old tabs. Fortunately she either didn’t notice or tactfully decided not to comment on them.

There used to be cheesy PC ‘boss’ programs that could hide whatever you were doing behind an official looking spreadsheet with a single button press. What we need now is the modern internet equivalent. I’ve got buttons on my phone that’ll summon a car, order a pizza and adjust my heating system. Can I not have one that’ll magically hide the adult content on all my various devices?

In a few days I’ll be on my lonesome again, and free to indulge in whatever perverse sexual practices I like. Until then I have to be content with admiring images like this one. That’s the kind of blissed out mental state I’m looking forward to achieving when I get chance to play again.

I found this on the Femdom Forever tumblr. I’m afraid I haven’t managed to track down an original attribution.

Coming out or getting caught

I’m always nervous that this blog will be discovered by a friend, relative or co-worker. There’s certainly enough information on it to make that identification possible by a regular reader who also happened to know me in daily life. It’s not that I’m ashamed out it. I’m actually very proud of what I’ve put together here. But in that curious inversion that’s unique to sex blogging, what I’m happy to share with internet strangers would definitely be TMI to share with friends.

Adult star Jesse Jackman recently wrote about his experience with the scariest version of this scenario – his mother stumbling across his blog. Fortunately it turns out to be a heart warming story of acceptance and understanding. In a world where the line ‘How would you feel if your son/daughter did it?’ is often stated as if it’s the definitive case against sex work, it’s nice to see a family showing love and understanding when dealing with the issue. Although I can’t say that it has inspired me to the extent that I’m going to email my mother a link to this blog.

Ideally I’d have a great shot of Jesse Jackman to finish this post with, but as far as I can tell he’s exclusive a gay performer, which doesn’t align with this blogs theme. Instead I’ll use a great example of image I love and I’m happy to post, yet would hate to explain to me friends and family exactly why.

This is from the CBT and Ballbusting site.

Love v’s Sex (hot sweaty kinky glorious sex)

The Girl on the Net has an interesting guest post entitled ‘Choosing Love Over Kink.’ You can go read it for yourself, but the title is pretty self-explanatory. It’s written by someone who is clearly deeply kinky but has chosen to settle down with someone who isn’t.

My initial reaction was to think of all those bloggers, forum posters and Savage Love letter writers who are stuck in unsatisfying relationships with exactly this problem. It’s easy to point to examples where sexual incompatibility has destroyed relationships. Yet one has to be careful about observational bias (aka the Streetlight Effect). Unhappy people tend to be loud and vocal. Kinky people who have successfully suppressed their desires for the sake of a specific relationship are typically not going to be posting online about that fact. Perhaps the world is full of sexually incompatible people with great relationships based on other factors.

That said, I am one of life’s natural cynics, and find that unlikely. It’s true that all relationships involve negotiation and nobody gets exactly what they want. Unimportant things can be discarded while important things can be compromised. Unfortunately, sex is an incredibly important thing, and there’s no compromise involved in this story. In fact, if you’re fundamentally sexually mismatched, I’m not sure compromise is even possible. It’s also my observation that points of tension in a relationship don’t become less important over time. They’re the bit of grit that rolls around jamming up the works.

Of course as a single guy who has never been married, perhaps I should keep my observations to myself. I’m not exactly the go-to expert here. While I ponder that depressing thought, I’ll leave you with a scene of domestic bliss. Hopefully this gentleman’s idea of sexual compatibility involved nipple clamps and ironing.

I’m afraid I don’t have an original source for the image. I found it on the Seductive Domme tumblr.

Saint Clamps of the Nipple

This puts me in mind of religious imagery. Not the woman obviously. Religions have never been big on women in corsets wielding canes. Or women of any description really. But his posture has a touch of the martyred Saint about it. The supplicant pose, the straining muscles and the rictus of agony are all very familiar from religious paintings. Sadly, while the renaissance artists got up to all sorts of sexual shenanigans, I don’t recall nipple clamps featuring anywhere in their work.

It’s originally from a Men in Pain series. I found it on the I Own his Key tumblr.

A pinch and a smile

I was planning to write some follow-up thoughts to yesterdays post on degradation and male submission. Instead I got paddled, pinched, prodded and penetrated by Lydia (plus some other stuff that didn’t begin with p). That left me way too mellowed out to write at length, so I’ll simply pop up an image that I found and liked. Her smile is cute, as is the pretty bondage, but it’s the nipple pinch that really makes the image for me. She might be turning to pose for the shot, but she’s not going to miss the opportunity to squeeze that nipple.

I found the image on the male sub imagery tumblr.

Asymmetry

Is it just me, or are other people’s nipples asymmetric? I’m not talking about appearance or location, but sensitivity. I did a scene with Lydia tonight and it was very clear that my right side was way more sensitive than the left. She had various needles and clips in place and was whacking them with a short leather strap. One at a time, back and forth, alternating left and right. I didn’t actually tell her that one hurt more than the other, but she could easily tell from the volume of my groans. It began to feel a bit like a scientific experiment, and I could almost see her thinking – “Hmmm. Interesting. Left nipple. Not to loud. Now right nipple. Wow. Big response. I better just test that again to be sure…”

I don’t know if the gentleman below is particular sensitive on his left side, but the need for the gag would indicate she’s getting a pretty good response from that nipple.

I found the image on The Velvet Underground (aka bound by a butterfly) tumblr. I’m afraid I can’t locate an original attribution.

The thrill-clit cult

The title sounds like something from a Russ Meyer movie, but it’s actually from a Gawker article on a practice known as Orgasm Meditation (OM). It’s not femdom at all, but I thought it’d be interesting to my readers. After all, they’re from a community that tends to focus on orgasm frequency, either limiting male ones or promoting female ones. Plus, I can actually tie the whole thing back to BDSM indirectly.

The OM practice is summarized as…

The woman removes the clothing from her lower half, and only from that half. The partner—the stroker, typically a man—remains fully dressed. The lights stay on. Over the course of 15 minutes, timed, the partner rubs the upper left quadrant of the woman’s clitoris, and she surrenders to involuntary sensation.

The ‘interesting’ bit is that partner in this case doesn’t refer to a romantic connection. It could be someone you just met. Someone you’re working with. A friend. It’s sold as type of meditation, a way to bond and a way to feel good about yourself. The driving force behind it is a company called One Taste, which comes off in the article as a cross between a cult, a commune, a therapy provider, a tech start-up and a sex club. Much as I like the idea of more orgasms in the world, I can’t say the article inspired me to get involved with them.

The connection I can make back to BDSM is that they relate the benefits of OM to the release of oxytocin. That’s a hormone that’s often associated with subspace and the high that comes from an intense BDSM scene. Both OM and BDSM are ways to hack the brain to deliver it. A psychiatrist in the article claims that the only things that can match OM for triggering oxytocin release are childbirth or breastfeeding. I wonder if she ever studied bondage, whipping and ball spanking? Probably not.

This image of a couple bonding in their own particular way comes from Mean Dungeon. I found it on the Geek Domme tumblr. It seems to combine two excellent ways to generate oxytocin – pain for him and an orgasm for her.