Clamps in Cosmos

After the HuffPost’s 7 sex tips from dommes, Cosmo now brings us the 9 nipple clamps you should look into. Of course sex tips from Cosmos is nothing new – I’ve done my fair share of mocking them in the past. However, I think it’s indicative of how far BDSM has penetrated the mainstream that their nipple clamp article is a pretty straightforward and sane list of recommendations. A few years ago it would have been written in a giggly “Oh isn’t this so silly!’ style and given instructions for making your own with some sticky tape and an elastic band. I’m not holding my breath for a Cosmos article on urethral sounds or play piercing, but it’s still progress.

The article’s main fault is hiding something at the end that would be better called out right at the top.

Queen explains that when you remove the clamps and the blood starts rushing back to the nerves, it can be an even stronger sensation than when you first put them on. Damn!

Damn is about right. Taking them off can hurt a hell of a lot more than their initial application. In fact I find it’s often an inverse relationship. Spiky ones hurt a lot when applied, but they don’t cut the blood supply, so I don’t get that rush of pain at the end. The flatter, wider clamps numb nipples up quickly and lull me into a false sense of security. Then, when they come off, the rush of blood back to the nerves can be excruciating.

For his sake, let’s hope this gentleman doesn’t get distracted by his clamps and let the book drop. I suspect that would lead to more problems than sore nipples.

The watermark on the image has been cut off by someone, but I’m fairly certain this is from the CBT and Ballbusting site.

Blogroll Updates and #SOSS

I’ve been doing a very bad job of supporting the #SOSS movement. Some might even go as far as to say the job has been non-existent to date, and those people would not be wrong. Hopefully joining in late will not prevent my hanging with all the cool kids who have been doing it for months now.

For those who have no idea what I’m talking about, SOSS is Share Our Shit Saturday – designed to encourage sharing of sex related writing online.  It started from Girl on the Net and Bacchus at ErosBlog. The underlying issue is the dominance of closed platforms on the internet and their hostility to sex related content. So lets share our shit on the open web and actively encourage people to discover interesting adult content on other sites. Arguably that is what this site has always been about, mostly because I’m lazy and it’s easier to link to talent than to possess it always a leader in social trends.

I decided the first thing I needed to do was update my blogroll and blog page, neither of which had been touched for months. Dead links are gone and I’ve added the following new (to me) blogs…

As far as sharing writing that I’ve enjoyed…

As is my custom, I like to finish a post with some visual loveliness. One of the new blogs – Pain as Pleasure – is written by a kinky man who goes by the handle BibulousOne. He’s written at length about his relationship with Mistress Elita, which gives me a very tenuous excuse for featuring these great images from her professional site.

Mistress Elita is a London based pro-domme. If you’re interested in arranging a session, her site contains all the necessary contact information.

Kink: The Documentary

I finally got around to watching the documentary on the Kink film studios by James Franco. Not sure why it took me so long, given I blogged about it being available on Netflix back in 2015, but there we are. Verdict: OK but not great. Probably if you knew nothing about BDSM then it’d be eye opening, but for me, and I suspect most of my readers, it was watchable without being particular deep or informative. On the plus side, it did have a good balance of Fm, Mm, Mf, etc. I was concerned it’d be heavy on the Mf side, but it was pretty even with a lot of screen time for people like Maitresse Madeline and Princess Donna.

One thing that did surprise me was the lack of experience that a lot of the performers demonstrated. Some years ago, a pro-domme who’d actually filmed a number of scenes for the studio told me  – with some disparagement in her voice – that the directors really drove the scenes and the performers did as they were told. As someone who liked to create her own scenes with their own dynamic, this wasn’t a happy situation for her. Having watched the documentary, I can see what she meant. The directors and Kink employees were obviously experts, but some of the performers seemed to be fairly inexperienced with BDSM techniques. I’m certainly no expert, but I think my scene negotiation is crisper and clearer than one of the early Fm shoots they showed. The guy who was about to do a submissive role on camera seemed initially confused by the concept of caning, and was pretty vague in most of his answers. I guess the overlap between experienced BDSM players and hot, fit people willing to appear on camera is smaller than I thought.

As far as the documentary structure goes, I think they’d have been better off picking a very inexperienced new kink performer, along with an experienced older performer, and then following their personal stories. That character focus would have made for a more relatable film, and allowed them to dig deeper into the why and how people get involved in both BDSM and BDSM porn. All that said, it was a positive documentary that showed kinky people in a generally good light, so that’s at least a win.

This is Mistress Madeline with Curt Wooster in a shoot for Kink’s Divine Bitches site.

Getting it all wrong

When a story about a dominatrix avoiding jail after a client died in a session originally surfaced in my inbox, I was pleased. Not for the dead guy obviously, but for the fact that she hadn’t been unreasonably punished. From just reading the article title I assumed he’d had a heart attack or aneurysm and gone out doing something he enjoyed. Intense kinky sex can certainly raise stress and blood pressure levels, and having a play partner die would be traumatizing enough without adding legal entanglements. Now, having read the story, I’m not so sure. Jail seems like a pretty reasonable place for her.

The client contacted her to do breathplay, which is a reasonable thing in itself. The badness starts with him wanting to be made unconscious. It gets worse with the fact she agreed to do it when clearly neither of them had a clue what they were doing. It culminates with her helping him use tape and a noose to cut off his breathing and then leaving him alone in a hotel room for 30 minutes. Leaving someone alone is a big red flag in most bondage situations, let alone when breathing restrictions are involved. Stupidity like that really deserves some prison time, even if he was equally idiotic in instigating the situation.

Personally, I love breathplay. I’ve had some of my most intense sessions while experiencing it. But it was always with people who knew what they were doing, who kept a very close watch on my physical responses and where we could escape it in a second or two.

breathplayThis is the lovely Mistress Eleise – someone who definitely does know how to do breathplay properly. A gloved hand can be very effective all on its own. This is taken from her Femme Fatale Films.

Patreon

I noticed when writing my previous post that Yumine has set-up a Patreon account. For those that haven’t encountered this service before, it’s an easy way for fans (patrons) of artists to contribute a few bucks to them on a regular basis. It’s not designed to crowdfund a specific piece of work, but instead functions more as a virtual tip jar for ongoing work. Yumine is suggesting chipping in just a $1 or $5 per month.

I’ve not used Patreon before, but this seemed a worthwhile case to give it a go. Sign-up was very quick and easy, and it let me use either PayPal or a credit card. If like me, you appreciate Yumine’s work, then maybe give it a shot yourself?

calmOf course this gives me another excuse to feature her work in a post. I particularly like this piece as the D/s dynamic and activity reminds me a lot of my play. I love breathplay and nipple torture, while having a love/hate relationship with hoods. That often leads to a lot of nervous energy that has to be worked through.

Suspension ropework

A final rope themed post (for the moment). This time it’s suspension bondage. Although I really like this image for the pinched nipple, the pulled hair and the look they’re exchanging. Suspension bondage is tricky enough to often be a scene all of it’s own, but here it seems to be being used as just part of their play.

RopeSuspensionI’m afraid I don’t know who originally created this. If anyone has information for the correct attribution then please leave me a comment.

Updated: Thanks to a helpful comment, I have an attribution of Lady C of Leverkusen Germany for the domme in this picture.

In the zone

I liked this short article on BDSM as a form of meditation. It doesn’t go into a lot of detail, but it captures some of my feelings on certain types of BDSM play. I’m by no means an expert on the topic, but the mindful meditation it describes does remind me of subspace.

Some activities seem to lend themselves more than others to this kind of mental state. Personally I’ve found that needle play (particularly when decorative), heavy bondage and very formalized corporal punishment are particularly good for it. Moments of stillness combined with ritual and rhythm definitely help. In contrast things like predicament bondage, electrical play and energetic fucking really don’t work. They’re fun, but tend to constantly pull your mind out of the zone and into the moment.

MomentHere’s a nice shot of someone enjoying a moment with Cybill Troy. I wonder if he’s feeling particularly meditative?

O Face

Here’s an image of a lady with a great facial expression. I guess he’s doing something right. I wonder if the nipple pulling is just for added encouragement or a subtle way to control the stimulation? Maybe he’s like an old radio. You twiddle the knobs, mash the buttons and bang on the side, and eventually you get something you like out of it.

OFace

Comfy shoes

After all the high tech VR posts, I’m going old school with this one. A naked person, some nipple play and a traditional St. Andrews cross.

Clearly the gentleman is enjoying the situation and, quite frankly I can’t blame him for that. But what really caught my eye was the shoes they’re wearing. BDSM imagery is full of ridiculous high heels and boots sporting a hundred and one straps and buckles. It make me smile to see someone wearing comfortable shoes and socks. Their might be some bondage and nipple torture going on, but there’s no reason anyone’s toes should get cold.

ComfyShoesThis is from the specimen01 tumblr aka ‘A Journey into Utopian Femdom’. It has a lot of good images on it from the same couple. I particularly liked this one featuring the comfy shoes and a great smirk.