Magic Buttons

I enjoyed this article on nipples and the pleasures that come along with them. There’s always a lot of attention paid to women’s nipples in porn and sex guides, but I think they’re a much underrated erogenous zone for men.

I have to admit, when I was younger, my nipples did nothing for me. They were like that one useless wall switch that most households have somewhere. Clearly at some point it did something, and maybe it still does, but no matter how often you flick it, you really can’t figure out what its actually for. BDSM changed all that and reworked my internal wiring. I’ve no idea if that change was a result of lots of nipple torture in sessions, a pavlovian link between pleasurable sensations and nipple play, or just being more aware of the sensations in my body, but the end result is a pair of magic buttons that are instant ‘on’ switches for me.

I’ve never managed the pure nipplegasm as described in the article. However, I can edge and then use nipple stimulation alone to push me over the line. The result is a weird orgasm, not quite a full one but not quite a ruined one. It’s a bit like an anal based orgasm – you know some crazy shit just went down, but you’re not exactly sure what. Did I just enjoy an amazing new sensation? Or did I just get cheated out of the real deal?

This image is obviously from the Men in Pain site.

Face Funnel

Regular readers of this blog will know I’m not a big fan of hoods. I have to make an exception in this case however, because this one is just so fucking hot. There’s something incredibly objectifying and utilitarian about it. I’m not sure I could cope with wearing it in reality, but I do love the idea of it.

This is from Mistress Natsumi’s twitter feed.

Trust the Pros

I’ve always maintained that there’s no shame in putting yourself in the hands of trained medical professionals if a scene has gone badly wrong. Any nurse or doctor with a few years experience will have seen all manner of crazy things, and yours will just be another nights work for them.

In light of this article, I guess I should also add firefighters to the list of trusted professionals. At least in Germany that is, as they receive training in how to remove cock rings and butt plugs that have become rather too tightly attached. Amazingly you can cut off a cock ring using an angle grinder, as long as the cock in question has been treated with bandages and heat resistant paste. That’d certainly count as edge play, particularly given it’s a no safeword scene.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image. Hopefully all these toys were safely removed without a call to the emergency services.

Clamps in Cosmos

After the HuffPost’s 7 sex tips from dommes, Cosmo now brings us the 9 nipple clamps you should look into. Of course sex tips from Cosmos is nothing new – I’ve done my fair share of mocking them in the past. However, I think it’s indicative of how far BDSM has penetrated the mainstream that their nipple clamp article is a pretty straightforward and sane list of recommendations. A few years ago it would have been written in a giggly “Oh isn’t this so silly!’ style and given instructions for making your own with some sticky tape and an elastic band. I’m not holding my breath for a Cosmos article on urethral sounds or play piercing, but it’s still progress.

The article’s main fault is hiding something at the end that would be better called out right at the top.

Queen explains that when you remove the clamps and the blood starts rushing back to the nerves, it can be an even stronger sensation than when you first put them on. Damn!

Damn is about right. Taking them off can hurt a hell of a lot more than their initial application. In fact I find it’s often an inverse relationship. Spiky ones hurt a lot when applied, but they don’t cut the blood supply, so I don’t get that rush of pain at the end. The flatter, wider clamps numb nipples up quickly and lull me into a false sense of security. Then, when they come off, the rush of blood back to the nerves can be excruciating.

For his sake, let’s hope this gentleman doesn’t get distracted by his clamps and let the book drop. I suspect that would lead to more problems than sore nipples.

The watermark on the image has been cut off by someone, but I’m fairly certain this is from the CBT and Ballbusting site.

Blogroll Updates and #SOSS

I’ve been doing a very bad job of supporting the #SOSS movement. Some might even go as far as to say the job has been non-existent to date, and those people would not be wrong. Hopefully joining in late will not prevent my hanging with all the cool kids who have been doing it for months now.

For those who have no idea what I’m talking about, SOSS is Share Our Shit Saturday – designed to encourage sharing of sex related writing online.  It started from Girl on the Net and Bacchus at ErosBlog. The underlying issue is the dominance of closed platforms on the internet and their hostility to sex related content. So lets share our shit on the open web and actively encourage people to discover interesting adult content on other sites. Arguably that is what this site has always been about, mostly because I’m lazy and it’s easier to link to talent than to possess it always a leader in social trends.

I decided the first thing I needed to do was update my blogroll and blog page, neither of which had been touched for months. Dead links are gone and I’ve added the following new (to me) blogs…

As far as sharing writing that I’ve enjoyed…

As is my custom, I like to finish a post with some visual loveliness. One of the new blogs – Pain as Pleasure – is written by a kinky man who goes by the handle BibulousOne. He’s written at length about his relationship with Mistress Elita, which gives me a very tenuous excuse for featuring these great images from her professional site.

Mistress Elita is a London based pro-domme. If you’re interested in arranging a session, her site contains all the necessary contact information.

Kink: The Documentary

I finally got around to watching the documentary on the Kink film studios by James Franco. Not sure why it took me so long, given I blogged about it being available on Netflix back in 2015, but there we are. Verdict: OK but not great. Probably if you knew nothing about BDSM then it’d be eye opening, but for me, and I suspect most of my readers, it was watchable without being particular deep or informative. On the plus side, it did have a good balance of Fm, Mm, Mf, etc. I was concerned it’d be heavy on the Mf side, but it was pretty even with a lot of screen time for people like Maitresse Madeline and Princess Donna.

One thing that did surprise me was the lack of experience that a lot of the performers demonstrated. Some years ago, a pro-domme who’d actually filmed a number of scenes for the studio told me  – with some disparagement in her voice – that the directors really drove the scenes and the performers did as they were told. As someone who liked to create her own scenes with their own dynamic, this wasn’t a happy situation for her. Having watched the documentary, I can see what she meant. The directors and Kink employees were obviously experts, but some of the performers seemed to be fairly inexperienced with BDSM techniques. I’m certainly no expert, but I think my scene negotiation is crisper and clearer than one of the early Fm shoots they showed. The guy who was about to do a submissive role on camera seemed initially confused by the concept of caning, and was pretty vague in most of his answers. I guess the overlap between experienced BDSM players and hot, fit people willing to appear on camera is smaller than I thought.

As far as the documentary structure goes, I think they’d have been better off picking a very inexperienced new kink performer, along with an experienced older performer, and then following their personal stories. That character focus would have made for a more relatable film, and allowed them to dig deeper into the why and how people get involved in both BDSM and BDSM porn. All that said, it was a positive documentary that showed kinky people in a generally good light, so that’s at least a win.

This is Mistress Madeline with Curt Wooster in a shoot for Kink’s Divine Bitches site.

Getting it all wrong

When a story about a dominatrix avoiding jail after a client died in a session originally surfaced in my inbox, I was pleased. Not for the dead guy obviously, but for the fact that she hadn’t been unreasonably punished. From just reading the article title I assumed he’d had a heart attack or aneurysm and gone out doing something he enjoyed. Intense kinky sex can certainly raise stress and blood pressure levels, and having a play partner die would be traumatizing enough without adding legal entanglements. Now, having read the story, I’m not so sure. Jail seems like a pretty reasonable place for her.

The client contacted her to do breathplay, which is a reasonable thing in itself. The badness starts with him wanting to be made unconscious. It gets worse with the fact she agreed to do it when clearly neither of them had a clue what they were doing. It culminates with her helping him use tape and a noose to cut off his breathing and then leaving him alone in a hotel room for 30 minutes. Leaving someone alone is a big red flag in most bondage situations, let alone when breathing restrictions are involved. Stupidity like that really deserves some prison time, even if he was equally idiotic in instigating the situation.

Personally, I love breathplay. I’ve had some of my most intense sessions while experiencing it. But it was always with people who knew what they were doing, who kept a very close watch on my physical responses and where we could escape it in a second or two.

breathplayThis is the lovely Mistress Eleise – someone who definitely does know how to do breathplay properly. A gloved hand can be very effective all on its own. This is taken from her Femme Fatale Films.

Patreon

I noticed when writing my previous post that Yumine has set-up a Patreon account. For those that haven’t encountered this service before, it’s an easy way for fans (patrons) of artists to contribute a few bucks to them on a regular basis. It’s not designed to crowdfund a specific piece of work, but instead functions more as a virtual tip jar for ongoing work. Yumine is suggesting chipping in just a $1 or $5 per month.

I’ve not used Patreon before, but this seemed a worthwhile case to give it a go. Sign-up was very quick and easy, and it let me use either PayPal or a credit card. If like me, you appreciate Yumine’s work, then maybe give it a shot yourself?

calmOf course this gives me another excuse to feature her work in a post. I particularly like this piece as the D/s dynamic and activity reminds me a lot of my play. I love breathplay and nipple torture, while having a love/hate relationship with hoods. That often leads to a lot of nervous energy that has to be worked through.