For the Love of Dog

Over the last decade or so I’ve been lucky enough to meet and interact with a lot of fabulous pro-dommes. They’ve all had their own unique style and approach, but there is one unusual commonality that I’ve observed. It’s not that they were intelligent, empathetic, well-organized and excellent communicators. I mean all those things were true, but being a successful professional dominant  tends to naturally select for them. Pointing those out is like pointing out that most basketball players are tall and most politicians can lie convincingly. It comes with the territory.

The unusual commonality I’ve observed is a love of animals. That’s obviously not a characteristic unique to pro-dommes, but it seems to be significantly skewed compared to the general population and to manifest itself in many different ways. Pro-dommes are frequently enthusiastic and proud pet owners, adopters of abandoned animals, volunteers at pet rescue centers, vegetarians or vegans and supporters of animal related charities. I’m obviously generalizing a lot here about a big group of people, and it won’t be true for everyone, but it is true for most of the dommes I’ve played with and true for a lot of the pro-dommes I see posting on social media.

I actually made this observation to a pro-domme last year. Although in fact, I only got as far as saying that there was one common theme I’d noticed before she beat me to the punch. I hadn’t even managed to finish my sentence before she came out with exactly the same observation.

An optimist might suggest that this trait derives from dommes possessing a nurturing and empathetic personality type that fits well with caring for animals. A cynic might suggest its because the average pet is a lot more obedient, dependable and trainable that 95% of male submissives.

This shot is from Mistress An Li and features, in her words, her two bitches playing. The one on top is her puppy and the one apparently losing the fight is her submissive in a pet crawler outfit.

Mistress An Li is an LA based pro-domme, and her professional site is located here.

Growling at the Badger

Courtesy of the Whores of Yore, comes a brief but fascinating history of cunnilingus. As you might guess, given thousands of years of patriarchal societies, it has not generally been a positive history. For the ancient Greeks it was

…generally regarded as something repugnant, used only by lesbians, and weak men whose erection had failed them. The fear that the penis is being replaced, or is not ‘enough’, is palpable.

That observed fear is an interesting one, given the prevalence of cunnilingus in submissive male fantasies. There’s obviously an element of service  and worship associated with it, but I wonder if for some men there’s also a coupling to kinks around inadequacy and humiliation?

My favorite part of the article is learning that in Sanskrit the word for the clitoris translates literally as ‘umbrella of the god of love’. That’s a lovely phrase I won’t forget in a hurry.

This gentleman may end up with a little more grit on his tongue than is usual after oral sex. Sadly I’ve no idea who created this wall art or where it was painted.

Say it with Flowers

I’ve been decorated before in sessions, but never anything quite like this beautiful shot. It’s by Asha Luna, a Melbourne based domme, using flowers her submissive brought to the session.

Being used as a canvas is not something I ever particularly fantasize about, but it’s always very hot when it happens. The submissive is simultaneously the focus while also being objectified. An essential part of the art but also just a mechanism for the domme to express herself. For that reason I never really request it as a style of play, as it seems too personal to do so. It has to be something triggered by the domme and her creative spark.

Mistress Asha Luna’s professional site is here and her twitter feed here.

Euphoria – Beauty In Pain

I’ve some follow-up thoughts from yesterdays post on Protonmail vs Gmail to share. Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to get them down right now. So consider this an interlude, a little visual intermezzi, before returning to the more boring technical stuff.

The images below are from this Vice article on the photographer Carolin Auer  who is working to capture some of the authentic pain and emotions that go into BDSM play. The ultimate goal is a book entitled Euphoria – Beauty In Pain, which is currently still in the production stages. It looks like it’d be an interesting title for fans of the marks, cuts and bruises that kinky play often leaves behind.

Keep in on the hush-hush

This autostraddle article has some good tips on how to subtly soundproof a room for kinky sex. Handy if you have children, roommates or thin walls between you and the neighbors. It’s particularly important for that last one, as explaining strange noises to a house guest can be embarrassing, but explaining that they’re not a sign of domestic abuse to the police is infinitely worse.

Even in professional spaces noise can be a problem. As I covered previously, I was banned from a San Francisco playspace during office hours for fear my vocalizations would disturb the surrounding tech start ups. I was also recently amused when arranging a first session with a new domme to be told, totally out of the blue, that my screams wouldn’t be a problem in her space.  Apparently my references had been particularly descriptive in their feedback!

The two standard approaches to excess noise are either soundproofing the room or gagging the submissive. Lady Chiaki appears to have come up with an interesting alternative here – provide the submissive with his own little soundproofed private room just for his head. There’s even a handy front door on it.

This is from this tweet in Lady Chiaki’s twitter feed. I believe the creator of the box is OSM Works.

Absence of Activity

Sorry for the posting gap. I picked up some bug over the weekend and have spent the last few days curled up under a blanket. I haven’t felt like I could do much of anything, other than watch bad television and sleep. Hopefully, normally service should be resumed from this point on.

Talking of guys unable to do much of anything, here’s one in a similar bind. Although I guess if looking stylish counts, he’s definitely managing to pull that off.

This is from the instagram of kinkbaku (also on twitter). It’s not exactly femdom, but if you like images of bound men, then it’s worth checking out.

Funny Mummy

After some seriously depressing politics, I felt a touch of humor might be required. And I can’t think of anyone who can combine humor, playfulness and some seriously intense bondage quite like Lady Hinako. The mummification image below is from her twitter feed. It makes me smile each time I look at it. The second image, of Mistress Hinako herself, is from a different scene and taken from her blog post entitled Hinako Hospital. Even in medical play, she manages to inject (ahem) some fun decoration of her submissive.

Dumb and Dumber

I’ve blogged about the stupidity of consent apps previously. The idea that you can swipe right to rubber stamp consent on a sexual encounter is a dangerous one. Firstly, it undermines the idea that consent is ongoing and always open to renegotiation or withdrawal. An agreement at minute one tells you nothing about what happened at minutes two through sixty. Secondly, an incapacitated or unwilling person could always be coerced to use the app, setting up a possible defense for an attacker.  On the flip-side, no jury is going to take the lack of a digitally signed consent as useful piece of evidence. After all, not using an app in the heat of the moment is standard behavior for 99.99% of people. So they clarify nothing, while working against potential victims and for potential attackers.

Of course there is no stupid technical solution that can’t somehow be made more stupid. Software people are inventive like that. In this case some Dutch tech-bro’s have managed to take the broken consent app concept and marry it with the latest tech craze – blockchain. For those that haven’t heard of this before, blockchain is the technical basis for cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin. Personally, I’m a cynic on the current cryptocurrency craze, whilst still admiring the design of some of the underlying technology. However, in this particular case, it makes no sense. A decentralized design is logical when you want to avoid a single point of attack that governments and thieves can target to take control. Not so much when you’re tracking two people ticking a consent box. I can’t see the Russian hackers taking a break from social media and our elections to go after consent apps.

When it comes to negotiating consent, it’s always important to do it before the gag goes in. You can always renegotiate at anytime, but sometimes are definitely easier than others.

I’m afraid I’ve no source for this image.

Updated: Thanks to an eagle eyed reader I can attribute this to the artist xxxx52 who has a patreon site.

Sexy Japanese Schoolgirl

I ate too much food tonight to do any serious blogging. All I can do is string a few slightly incoherent sentences together before collapsing into a prone position. So here’s a sexy Japanese schoolgirl, sporting a fetching grey beard and rigged in a web of pink rope. What’s not to like?

This is from the twitter feed of Hajime Kinoko. There are some other equally entertaining images in the original tweet.

The cutest new year celebration

I’ve always enjoyed being decorated as part of a session. For example, there was the Christmas tree Lydia turned me into, the piercings she did to my back and the heart Inga Larsson cut on my chest. There’s something quite relaxing about simultaneously being the center of attention but also objectified as a canvas for the domme to use.

That said, I’ve never really got into being written on. It’s often used used as a form of humiliation, with insulting slogans, which is never my thing. However, I could totally get into the kind of body writing shown below. Who wouldn’t want a cute cat and dog on them to celebrate 2018? Not to mention an awesome sassy giraffe and chicken.

This is taken from a series of photos in this tweet.  I’m guessing (given it’s all in Japanese) that the artists are @SiouxsieQ5 and @runa_tan_desu. If I’d been their canvas, I might not have showered for the next couple of weeks.