Warning Signs

I thought I’d continue my previous post on the incompetent domme and the site she shoots for with a few follow-up thoughts.

Firstly, always be alert for warning signs in any kinky interaction – whether it’s playing in person or simply buying someone’s BDSM porn. I remember seeing the site in question advertise for film slaves with the condition that they’d only waive the usual session fee if the slave didn’t use their safeword. That’s obviously a horrible incentive structure. The submissive is liable to push beyond safe limits to avoid paying and the domme is encouraged to push hard in order to save the company money. I should have called them out when I saw that, but somehow it slid past me at the time.

Secondly, be smart about where you consume porn from. If you like a lot of low risk activities, then it probably doesn’t matter who the domme is. Femdom Empire features a lot of crossover models from the regular porn world,  but they tend to stick to activities like pegging, foot worship, facesitting, tease/denial. etc. I’ve never seen them do extreme scenes that create non-trivial risk. On the other hand, if you’re more into things like impact play, heavy bondage, CBT and medical play, then pick sites that feature a lot of well known pro-dommes. For example, The English Mansion site definitely features edgier activities, but it’s also run by a well known domme and features a lot of top professionals.

Finally, if you’re a submissive, don’t think you can delegate all safety concerns to the domme. Playing safely is a joint responsibility. If you’re concerned about raising issues mid-scene – which I’ll admit can be difficult – then build into more intense play slowly over time. That makes it much easier to adjust course or raise concerns between sessions when you’re in a clearer headspace. I’d rather look forward to playing again and pushing just a little further than leave a scene with an injury or a messed up mental state.

Talking of the English Mansion, heavier activities and professionals who know what they’re doing, here’s Domina Liza in a shoot for them. She’s certainly someone who knows how to correctly wield a single tail.

A Trio of Asian-American Dominatrixes

Allure magazine has an interesting article on three Asian-American dommes. It features Mistress Lucy Sweetkill, Domina Dia Dynasty and Yin Q, and describes some of their experiences dealing with the stereotypes that come with the job and their ethnicity.

Even at her former job in fashion, Lucy’s employees would refer to her as a “dragon lady,” in both an endearing and negative way. She likes the association. “Yes, that’s definitely me. I’m a boss ass bitch,” Lucy says proudly. The association certainly helps in her positionality as a dominatrix and sex worker: She says her clients fear her.

I think the article does a pretty good job of describing BDSM and kink to its non-kinky readers, while also still giving some interesting perspectives to those of us who frequent sites like this one.

Although the online version is in Allure magazine, the article was originally published in Banana Magazine, issue 4.

Snappy Dresser

It’s probably fairly obvious that I enjoy kink and fetish. It’s probably less obvious that I’m also a fan of clothes and style. I hesitate to say fashion – as that can suggest chasing ephemeral fads and trends – but I do appreciate people who put some effort into their look. A man’s appearance can be immeasurably improved by a well chosen suit or a stylish jacket.

This image therefore falls perfectly at an intersection of two of my interests.  It’s not exactly something to wear for an average evening out, but it’s undoubtedly stylish and perfect for the well dressed latex fetishist. I particularly love the buttons on the cuffs. The whole thing is beautifully executed.

You can see some more shots of their ensemble in this tweet from Dominatrix Chiaki. The owner and model for the suit is @osm2741 and the clearly talented creator of it is @KurageKidO.

Too Many Thoughts

Here’s a final post with a toilet theme. This time it’s based on a series of tweets by Mistress An Li that captured my attention. You can see the entire sequence here, but I’ll just quote the first two and part of the final tweet. Fair warning, there is a mention of scat.

For all my shit-eatin’ humiliation bitches who don’t also want to eat my menses…like…what???

I just want to point out that your refusal of my period blood but fervent desire to eat my literally-biohazard shit is ridiculous.
……
I’m gonna put it out there that if you think you worship women, you eat shit, and you don’t eat menses, then you are a hypocrite. Reconsider your consumption values
Full tweet rant here.

I have to admit my brain bounced around a bit on this one. The short story version of that went like this…

  1. Interesting point, but to be fair to her shit-eatin humilation bitches, doesn’t shit have a very special place in our culture? After all, everyone toilet trains and defecates regularly. It’s part of our language, our insults and our humor. Fetishes often get built early, and for men, there’s no knowledge or interaction with period blood until the late teens.
  2. Isn’t it weird that I’m having internal debates about eating shit versus menses? I mean it’s kind of gross but also interesting and strange. I like the weird path I’ve taken in my life.
  3. Maybe my instinctive defense of the men in this situation is part of the problem? Doesn’t An Li have a good point here? Have I internalized problematic values? What does this kink (or lack of it) say about society?
  4. I need to spend less time on twitter and get out more. At this point I might be overthinking things.

This is Mistress An Li looking particular amazing in latex. She’s an LA based pro-domme and you can find her professional site here.

Stylish in White

This isn’t really femdom, but I’ll give myself a pass on that just this once. I love the duality of this image. On one hand the models pose and the image composition is a very conventional fashion one. Much more D&G than S&M. The lapel, collar and zip elements also suggest a more conventional fashionable outfit. On the other hand, it’s this incredibly fetishistic, monochromatic latex suit, with extreme boots and a skin tight hood. Those contrasts really make the image work for me.

This is from Reflective Desire. You can see some more shots of the same outfit on their twitter feed.

Making an Entrance

This image, featuring the beautiful Mistress Alice, has a great evil doctor or sexy mad scientist vibe going on. Words like splayed, clamps, insertion and orifice all spring to mind. The submissive should ideally be brought in by a pair of helpful assistants using one of those Hannibal Lecter vertical wheeled trolleys. Unable to either escape or avoid seeing what’s about to happen to him.

I’ve often thought that entrances to scenes are an underdeveloped part of kinky play. There might be some leashing, or pulling by a body part or CFNM dynamic, but that’s about it for most scenes. The problem with doing something dramatic – like being delivered in a dog crate or bound on a hospital trolley – is you need a big space and multiple dommes. To really make it work you’d need a packing scene to happen with one domme – turning the submissive from  a person to an experimental object – and then a delivery to another domme in a different location for the pain and torment. Ideally with a period of waiting and watching in between to heighten the tension and emphasis the sense of objectification.

It’s hard to see how to make that kind of opening act work in most playspaces I’ve seen in the US. Maybe if I get chance to ever play somewhere like Studio Avalon, with its extensive facilities and large team of dommes, it’d be an idea to try.

Catsuits in NYC

Humiliation types scenes in public spaces are pretty common in Femdom imagery. I’m sure you know the type of scene I mean. There’s a domme in sensible clothes leading around a submissive in slightly less sensible clothes, while random bystanders look on with varying degrees of amusement, shock and puzzlement. Something like this one.

It’s not really my kind of scene, so I was therefore pleased to see an alternative variation on a public scene in this post from Miss Ava Zhang. It features Miss Zhang and Domina Dia Dynasty cruising around NYC in shiny rubber suits. No humiliated submissives in sight. Just two dommes having fun in great outfits. Amusingly the only place they weren’t welcome was a kinky whip cracking meetup in Central Park, where apparently whip cracking and hot dommes in latex was just too much fun to have all in one public place.

You can see more images from their NYC adventures in the post here.

Her Cutie Pie

I’m continuing my theme of interesting things I’ve found on twitter. This is from Lady Hinako’s feed. You can even see a short video clip of the scene. The post title comes from that tweet.

I always feel that when I post images like this, I need to slather it in disclaimers. I have this mental image of someone dipping their toe in femdom, browsing this site and thinking that this represents the kind of activity they’ll need to get involved in. Or a domme seeing this and getting annoyed that the only representations of femdom are leather clad porn stars or shots like this of extreme play. I do get that, but at the same time, I love that there are people out there doing crazy stuff. It’s not so much that I want to do this myself – although I kind of do – but that I always enjoy seeing people pushing boundaries and exploring their desires. We should applaud the passionate and the unusual. They make the world a more interesting place.

Heatwave

It’s about a bajillion degrees in San Francisco right now. Which seems the perfect excuse to feature this slightly strange but amusing summer themed shot from Mistress Iris. She’s definitely someone who enjoys exploring more unusual themes for her image galleries, as I’ve covered in the past. This is actually a ‘behind the scenes’ image, taken from her twitter feed. You can see the final official images from the shoot on her gallery page.

I wouldn’t put inflatable pool toys too high on my list of fetishes, but dommes in latex having fun is definitely a top 5 contender.

More Scenes from Germany

I couldn’t write about German BDSM studios (as I just was) without mentioning Studio Black Fun. They’re based in Leipzig and, based on their website, have some pretty crazy toys. For example, thisthis and this. It looks skewed to high-tech fetish rather than the more traditional Avalon space, but no less impressive for all that.

There’s one special they offer – Yellow 3D Vision – that has more kinks packed into a single scene than I think I’ve ever observed before. You can see a video of it here. To start with the guy is in a metal chastity device and wearing a full rubber body suit, complete with a custom hood. Then they add bondage via plastic buckles and mummification with a latex sheet. A video headset is used to feed him an image of the scene, while a special toilet is fitted above him, complete with plumbing to his hood. Finally, there are two dommes, both in elaborate fetish gear, one to pee into the toilet and one to film it and feed him the video picture. Frankly, I’m just surprised they didn’t add nipple clamps, an anal plug and a rubber chicken into the scene. That would have been BDSM bingo all in one shot.

If I’m honest, while I might be joking about the scene, I’d actually love to try it out. That level of objectification, coupled with the out-of-body experience the headset/camera would offer, seems pretty hot. The images below show the toilet set-up, in this case with a latex straitjacket and spreader bar. You can see more from this variation here.