Her Cutie Pie

I’m continuing my theme of interesting things I’ve found on twitter. This is from Lady Hinako’s feed. You can even see a short video clip of the scene. The post title comes from that tweet.

I always feel that when I post images like this, I need to slather it in disclaimers. I have this mental image of someone dipping their toe in femdom, browsing this site and thinking that this represents the kind of activity they’ll need to get involved in. Or a domme seeing this and getting annoyed that the only representations of femdom are leather clad porn stars or shots like this of extreme play. I do get that, but at the same time, I love that there are people out there doing crazy stuff. It’s not so much that I want to do this myself – although I kind of do – but that I always enjoy seeing people pushing boundaries and exploring their desires. We should applaud the passionate and the unusual. They make the world a more interesting place.

Twittering

So having just burnt a series of posts on the dangers of maintaining dual identities on social media, what’s the next logical thing for me to do? Obviously it’s to create a new social media account. So you can now find me on twitter as @paltego1.

I’m not actually sure what I’m going to do with it. I originally created it just to get rid of all the ‘This media may contain sensitive material’ twitter warnings that were driving me crazy. Sensitive material is 90% of my reason for doing anything online. Then it seemed a good way to follow interesting kinky people. Now I’m debating if I should more actively manage it. Maybe use it as an overflow for links I don’t get to cover here? Or as way to bookmark articles before I have change to write in more detail on them? At the very least I can use it to publish the existence of a new post here.

If you’re a twitter user feel free to follow me and maybe I’ll end up doing something useful with it. I’ll also be on the lookout for interesting people to follow, so feel free to point me at anything or anyone you like!

Twitter does seem a particular rich source for fun kinky shots and short video clips. Most of them are casual shots snapped with a phone, but occasionally you get a gem like the one below. This is Domina M in Paris and was shot by Will Santillo.

Always something new

One of the things I love about kink is the infinite variety of possibilities it offers. There’s always a new experience or activity for me to explore. In some cases it can be a very common kinky activity that has simply never made it onto my kinky hit list. Whenever that happens it’s always slightly disconcerting. A bit like realizing there’s a cupboard in your house you’ve never actually opened, despite years of living there.

In my recent trip to San Francisco Domina Yuki used a leash on my collar to lead me around. It wasn’t a big part of the scene or in response to a request I’d made. Just a fun way for her to get me from one area to another in the play space. But as she did it I was struck by the fact it was a new experience for me. The collar and leash is a staple of BDSM porn. It’s even used as a symbol for kink in the mainstream. Yet, in years of play, I couldn’t remember ever being on the receiving end. I was so surprised at that realization I almost forgot to enjoy the moment. Almost.

This is the beautiful Mistress Iris enjoying some leash play with a slave. I found it via her twitter feed.

Cross Promotion

I received a strange but amusing sales pitch the other day. A Sarah from the ‘Crazy Pet Guy’ blog wanted to write a guest post here. Apparently she thought there was a fair amount of overlap between her pet themed site and mine. Suggested topics included:

  • When Should You Give Up and Call a Dog Trainer?
  • How to Prepare Yourself for Dog Adoption
  • The Importance of Consistency in Dog Training: Why It Works

I get a fair number of these kind of guest post requests. A few are from other kink sites, which do actually have overlap with this one. Most are random spam emails that are clearly the result of dumb algorithms. This is clearly the latter case, but it’s also the first one that is both entirely unrelated and yet weirdly appropriate. I’m fairly certain Sarah doesn’t want to write about training a human puppy, or the importance of consistency in slave training, yet I was strongly tempted to reply with a few suggested kinky topics for her to work with. After all – when is it appropriate to give up on your human puppy and call a professional domme in? Should you rub their noses in it? Is it ever appropriate to spank them with a newspaper? How do you stop inappropriate leg humping? And is crueler to use a chastity cage or simply neuter them?

I’m afraid I don’t have a source for this image.

The proliferation of animated gifs

It used to be easy to find appropriate images to illustrate my posts. I’d jump onto tumblr with a theme in mind and typically find something suitable within a few minutes. Now I try that and I’m faced with wall to wall animated gifs. They’ve gone from old fashioned and annoying web page gimmick to what feels like 90% of tumblr contents in a couple of years.

Ironically, like the Oatmeal, I’m actually a fan of animated gifs. They work particularly well for sex and kink shots. I just wish tumblr had an option to filter them out. Sadly, given the number of sites only producing movies these days, and the shift away from commercial image sets, I suspect it’s a trend that’s not about to reverse itself. With movies as source material, animated clips is the natural way to feature them.

In the meantime I’ll have to look further afield for good image sources. For example, the shot below is from twitter, specifically Mistress Amiko’s feed. So far twitter does not seem to have succumbed  to the animation craze in quite the same way as tumblr.

Behind the fantasy

Courtesy of linking from Mistress T I found this article on the rewards and challenges of being both a sex worker and a parent. I’ll admit it doesn’t really have a femdom angle to it. However, this blog relies heavily on the fantasies that sex workers help create. I feature beautiful photographs of sex workers, articles by them and descriptions of amazing scenes they help create. I therefore always appreciate the chance to acknowledge and humanize the people behind the fantasy.

I’ll add an entirely anecdotal observation of my own to the story. A lot of the pro-dommes I’ve interacted with have been very caring people and very pro-animal. They’ve kept animals, or fostered animals, or volunteered at shelters or contributed (and encouraged others to contribute) to animal charities. Obviously this is based on a very limited data set, but it does seem to me that pro-dommes at least, tend to care about animals and their welfare far more than the average person on the street does.

Of course there are always exceptions. There’s one type of animal they tend to do some really horrible things to.

This artwork is of course by the great Sardax.

Samir Abady’s Kink Series

The title of this BuzzFeed article is somewhat silly – 18 Kinky Pictures From The Gritty Underworld Of BDSM – but the photographs and the writing with them is both interesting and revealing. It’s only a ‘gritty underworld’ if your idea of BDSM consists of perfect models posing in polished fetish gear on a studio set. What these photographs show is how some kinky people explore BDSM in the real world. Ropes get knots in them, bodies aren’t perfect and you don’t need a dungeon space to get creatively kinky.

I particularly liked the story of Josh and Mistress Blunt. As a fan of mummification and breathplay myself, I can understand a little of the meditative effect it can have. The shots of them pre-session and in session (like the one below) are great.

The photographer is Samir Abady and you can the full series of 19 images in his set entitled ‘Kink’.

The places you’ll go

Writing about Kink’s Armory space last week got me thinking about all the different play spaces I’ve experienced over the years. If you’ve never visited a professional BDSM space, you might be surprised where they pop up. Old industrial buildings in the cheaper parts of town are certainly common, but they’re not the only option. For example, over the years I’ve experienced:

  • A big McMansion in a rich suburb. A large chunk of the second floor had been converted to the play space. It was odd to experience being bound and beaten while chinks in the window blinds gave me glimpses of people watering their lawns or kids playing in the street.
  • An ultra-modern loft style condo. I was late to arrive, as I spent the first 10 minutes convinced that the play space must be in the old brick warehouse across the street. That seemed so much more likely than the trendy and expensive condos.
  • The top floor of a downtown office block. It was an incredibly well equipped space, and it must have been a nightmare to get all the big heavy dungeon furniture up the lifts and stairs without arousing suspicion.
  • A townhouse in the heart of San Francisco. I was banned from visiting during the day, as it was thought my screams would disturb the dot com company next door.

Most spaces adopt the functional but cliched black / red color schemes for the walls and equipment, but there are a few happy exceptions. Troy Orleans in NYC has a beautiful establishment with natural light, clean white walls and a very well thought out use of space (see a shot here). Similarly, Lucy Khan in LA has a luxurious and well composed space that actually looks like an interior designer was involved (see a shot here). Personally, I always prefer to play somewhere that feels like a beautiful space to be in, rather than in a dungeon cliche.

This image is by Natasha Gornik and was featured on her tumblr. It doesn’t say so on the post, but I believe that’s Miss Troy Orleans again. I think it’s a nice example of an intense scene but with still a clean and beautiful aesthetic.

Folsom Addendum

A final post on the Folsom Fair. Actually, more of an addendum to my first post than a new one. That post featured an image of Mistress Liliane Hunt and her posse. If you liked that shot, then you should check out her latest blog post. It gives a lot of background on her trip and the people with her, along with a lot more great photographs. She was even featured on this years poster, as an amazing looking fetishist Sarah Palin.

Rather than repeat another image of this year’s fair, here’s Mistress Hunt at the 2011 fair with her puppy. I love the look of joy on her face and his contented appearance. There’s a lovely energy to this.

Mistress Liliane Hunt with her puppyI found this image via this SFGate gallery.

Getting it all wrong

When a story about a dominatrix avoiding jail after a client died in a session originally surfaced in my inbox, I was pleased. Not for the dead guy obviously, but for the fact that she hadn’t been unreasonably punished. From just reading the article title I assumed he’d had a heart attack or aneurysm and gone out doing something he enjoyed. Intense kinky sex can certainly raise stress and blood pressure levels, and having a play partner die would be traumatizing enough without adding legal entanglements. Now, having read the story, I’m not so sure. Jail seems like a pretty reasonable place for her.

The client contacted her to do breathplay, which is a reasonable thing in itself. The badness starts with him wanting to be made unconscious. It gets worse with the fact she agreed to do it when clearly neither of them had a clue what they were doing. It culminates with her helping him use tape and a noose to cut off his breathing and then leaving him alone in a hotel room for 30 minutes. Leaving someone alone is a big red flag in most bondage situations, let alone when breathing restrictions are involved. Stupidity like that really deserves some prison time, even if he was equally idiotic in instigating the situation.

Personally, I love breathplay. I’ve had some of my most intense sessions while experiencing it. But it was always with people who knew what they were doing, who kept a very close watch on my physical responses and where we could escape it in a second or two.

breathplayThis is the lovely Mistress Eleise – someone who definitely does know how to do breathplay properly. A gloved hand can be very effective all on its own. This is taken from her Femme Fatale Films.