High Heels – Page 12 – Femdom Resource

All sorts of good stuff

A quick post tonight. Having fun in Vegas is not particularly conducive to writing thoughtful and intelligent blog posts. Some might argue I struggle to achieve that under the best circumstances, let alone after much food and wine.

Fortunately this image contains all sorts of good stuff that speaks for itself. There’s a cute cross-dresser. I particularly like her flowing curly hair. There’s an interesting CBT humbler device. And finally there’s the predicament bondage involving high heels. I’ve no idea what the context for this shot is, but I like it.

I found this image at the Curious Asian tumblr site.

The big O

Emily Nagoski has an interesting post up in relation to this Jezebel article on female pleasure and the emphasis put on the orgasm. The writing is in the context of vanilla sexual relationships rather than kinky ones, but it got me thinking about how the ideas related to more unconventional sexual interactions.

For men, orgasm and pleasure are closely linked. They’re practically the same thing. They can enjoy arousal without orgasm, sure, but basically they can tell if they had a good sexual experience by whether or not they’ve had an orgasm.

And they apply that standard – THEIR standard, the male/masculine standard – to their women partners. As though women are men, and as though to be anything else is to be broken.

So even if a guy wants his female partner to have orgasms because he wants to make her feel good, which is lovely and very nice, why can’t he just MAKE HER FEEL GOOD because he wants to make her feel good, without the performance demands of orgasm?

Orgasm is often slower and more effortful for women than for men; it’s more variable from woman to women, more variable from day to day in an individual woman. Sometimes orgasm just isn’t there for her; she can still experience truckloads of pleasure, though.
Emily Nagoski

It’s tempting at this point to start getting pedantic about the definition of sexual experience. I’ve had some amazingly enjoyable experiences being bound, beaten and burnt that I’d consider as very sexual but that didn’t feature orgasms. However, for the sake of argument lets just consider sexual experiences as they’re more commonly defined, where genitals and stimulation of some sort is involved. In that scenario I think it’s still incorrect to say that an orgasm is necessary for a kinky man to have a good sexual experience. But I do think that the idea of an orgasm is a key part of the experience. Chastity play and tease and denial all concentrate on the removal of the orgasm. Edging is all about repeatedly approaching the point of orgasm without tipping over it. Ruining an orgasm is about spoiling the moment itself. These different type of orgasm control may or may not feature an actual physical orgasm, but they do put the idea of it right at their heart.

In contrast some women (and it’s impossible to avoid stereotyping here as Emily acknowledges) are not wired in that way. Lack of orgasm isn’t necessarily a sign of total failure in bed, in the same way that your partner achieving orgasm doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a fantastic lover. To quote Emily once again – “pleasure is a destination, not a journey; if you feel good, you have already arrived.”

Where I think this gets particularly interesting in the kinky domain is how it relates to lifestyle male chastity arrangements. I have to tread a little carefully here, as I’m not speaking from first hand knowledge of that specific type of play. However, I’ve never let lack of knowledge get in the way of my opinions before, and I don’t see any reason to start now.

I browse and read a variety of kinky blogs (not all of them linked to from here) and one of the subtexts I observe in a lot of male chastity blogs is a type of transference of sexual expectation. It often seems that simple denial or control over the male orgasm isn’t enough. To be truly satisfying their has to be frequent orgasmic sexual experiences for their female keyholder. There are no doubt a lot of complex reasons behind that, but a key factor seems to be avoiding turning a deliberate denial of sexual pleasure into a total absence of sex. From the male perspective sex involves orgasms, and if he’s not having them, then it’s necessary (or at least highly desirable) that she is.

That of course then runs directly into the issues Emily is addressing above. Male expectations around sex and orgasms can’t automatically be projected onto women. And yet long term chastity play seems to encourage that very projection, with the resulting conflicts you’d expect from that.

I’m afraid I have zero answers for how to resolve this issue. Other than perhaps being aware of its existence and using that knowledge to think creatively around the conflict. In the meantime, while I brace myself for a flood of comments from men in chastity telling me I’m full of crap, here’s a nice shot of a steelwerks chastity device. It’s from their blog and was supplied by one of their clients.

A better use for a stripper pole

I’ve seen cock trample boards in numerous movies and images. They’re particular popular for showing via animated gifs, for example this. However, until last week, I’d never personally had chance to try one. It turned out to be quite an experience.

The version I was under didn’t have the stripper pole accessory, as shown in the images below, but was essentially the same design. The submissive lies on the floor, supported by a cushion or two, and his cock goes through the hole in the board. The mistress is then free to trample, stomp and rub with her boots or heels. Or dance the charleston should she prefer.

For such a simple idea it’s amazingly effective. It gives a stable platform for the mistress to stand on, so she has very fine control over how and where she applies pressure. The hard surface provides her with something to press against, allowing her to easily trap tender flesh under her heels. She can also play mind games, alternating stroking with torture, or pretending to stamp down hard while intentionally just missing. From my perspective it was a real rush to be able to look up from that position, gazing up at the heels and long legs of the mistress, and having her stare directly down at me. At first glance it looks like it’d be similar to being trampled, but in reality I found it a lot more intense and enjoyable.

These images are taken from this gallery on the cbtrampling site. They have several galleries and a clips store with numerous videos.

A little slap and tickle

Some dommes seem to naturally project a sadistic aura. I don’t mean that as a necessarily good or bad thing (although I do kind of like it), but simply as an observation on the visual impression they make. Some people, a minority, just naturally throw off a certain vibe. Much as some actors seem born to play certain types of character, some dommes seem to naturally embody certain characteristics, whether it’s playfulness, seriousness, superiority or sadism.

Mistress Simone Kross is one of those dommes who possesses that sadistic aura. I’ve not yet had chance to session with her (unfortunately), so I’ve no idea if my impression aligns with her natural personality. I’m sure like all good dommes she can adapt as necessary, and play in many different ways. But every image I see of her (and she’s featured before on this blog here and here) gives me a pleasant shiver of masochistic delight.

Take the shot below as an example. She just has a few feathers and a little wooden paddle. In any other situation that might look like a prelude to some light spanking and a little sensual tickling. Gentle BDSM foreplay for the kinky beginner perhaps. But somehow, in her hands, it looks like all she’d need to bring the most hardened masochist to his knees.

Mistress Simone Kross is a professional dominatrix based out of Nashville. Her website contains this contact page should you wish to arrange a session.

Tenderness

Here’s another piece of artwork that caught my eye, with once again a distinct shift in style and color from the previous days post.

The depiction of a submissive wearing a chastity device while simultaneously being penetrated by a strap-on is a fairly commonly one. The additional emphasis it places on the dominants sexual control and power has an obvious appeal. However, this image struck me as showing an usually tender scene. Despite the manacles, fetish wear and padlocked cock cage, there’s a real sense of tenderness and vulnerability. She looks like she’s more likely to whisper sweet nothings in his ear than call him a slut. Which I personally think would be a definite improvement from the usual cliched domme pillow talk that often gets scripted in these scenarios.

I found this on the True Servitude tumblr site, which contains a lot of hentai images of various fetishes

The conundrum of animated gifs

I’m typically not a fan of animated gifs on my front page. The constant flickering motion is distracting and aesthetically displeasing. They also make the page slow to load and burn big chunks of my bandwidth. However, they can also be kind of fun. They’re ideally suited for endless teasing shots where final satisfaction is never quite achieved.

To square this particular circle I’m going to publish static stills that link to the relevant tumbr posts with the full gif. So just click on the images below to see the animated originals. I particularly like the middle/left shot with the dripping cock. She looks delighted with her leaky toy.

It’s a classic….but why?

This is one of those occasional posts where I ponder about why something is attractive, but without coming to any worthwhile or useful conclusions. I therefore apologize in advance for all the overworked electrons necessary to communicate this complete absence of information.

The something in question is the classic slim black skirt and white blouse, as modeled below by the very fetching Mistress Absolute. It’s a look I’ve always appreciated. In fact it’s the only outfit I’ve ever requested a domme to wear in a session. Normally I’m happy to let the mistress choose whatever she thinks is appropriate. But just for one specific activity last year I requested this and ended having a truly memorable session.

For all my enjoyment of this outfit, I’m at a loss to explain why. It’s commonly associated (in my mind at least) with secretaries and school teachers. Secretaries, while being the staple of many sexy fantasies, aren’t naturally a dominant role. And while the school teacher is an authority figure, I can’t remember any teacher I ever encountered dressed this way. All my teachers looked liked escapees from the 1970’s, with baggy shapeless dresses and unpleasantly colored cardigans.

It’s obviously not genetically programmed in, unless they’re about to discover the femdom fashion gene. And I can’t believe I simply picked it up from watching movies and television shows featuring school teachers dressed this way. As a child I watched programs about spaceships, cowboys and how to make things out of sticky-backed plastic. Authoritarian women in minimal but severe outfits were not a common viewing theme.

The only thing I can think is that there is something innately dominant about this look, given the jumping off point of modern fashions. The absence of color and simplicity of the cut suggests a serious and businesslike purpose. There’s no frivolity or emotional expression. It’s a very controlled look. Forceful. Restrained. And yet while it projects function over form, it’s not functional in the sense overalls or a boiler-suit are. It’s still clearly feminine and highlights the shape of the body. Sexual and yet controlling – a strong femdom combination.

I found these images in this gallery on Mistress Absolute’s site. From the watermark she obviously originally shot them for the Women Worship site.

Quirky

My recent posts on authenticity and smiling dommes seemed to attract a fair amount of positive feedback. This wasn’t really a surprise to me, as I’ve repeatedly seen a lot of negative comments from multiple sources on the snarling domme stereotype. That kind of classic shot still has its place, but it’s clearly no longer enough to simply curl a lip and wave a crop at the camera.

The image below was one I originally considered including as an example of a smiling mistress, but I decided in the end it was worth a separate post, as it’s more of an amused expression than an outright smile.

I think there’s a great dynamic here between the three people. The woman on the left appears to be giving directions. I can just image her saying “Go on, grind your heel hard into his nipple. Let’s see if you can make it bleed” The man appears to be a little perturbed by what he’s hearing, and is sitting up to plead his case. And the blonde with the quirky smile looks to be both amused and pleased with the suggestions. I expect her next words to be “You are evil! I love that idea. That’ll be horribly painful.”

I found this originally on Awesome Femdom, but it’s clearly originally from Strapon-Hell.

Legs

I normally try and put some sort of intelligent or meaningful comment in here. But really, with this image, is it needed? Legs. That is all.

Found on the 7 Fetishes tumblr site.

Clean-up Crew

This image caught my eye more for the dominant’s outfit than anything else. I always dislike it when a domestic scene is portrayed, and yet the woman looks like she’s spent the last hour being squeezed and buckled it the latest creations from her local leatherwear emporium. Admittedly it’s probably not the most practical get up for doing housework in, but that’s what the naked slave is for. She’s just giving him a few last minute pointers on exactly how shiny the floor should be by the time she returns from her evening out on the town.

Image is originally from Woman Worship. From a quick scan of their updates page it looks like they have a lot of material in a similar vein.