It’s all in the Mind

The NYT has a short but informative article  on the complex relationship between brain and body when it comes to pain. It’s tempting to think of the body as the source of all physical pain and the brain simply reporting on the signals it receives but, as the article explains, it’s a lot more complicated than that. As every masochist already knows, and doctors are learning, pain is contextual, and the reprocessing that happens in the brain can make a big difference to the perception of the sensation.

I also found it interesting that the article draws a connection with itching. Ever since I got involved in kink, I’ve been fascinated by how that phenomena can be modified by my situation. In normal circumstances I find it almost impossible to not scratch a bad itch. The more I resist doing so, the greater the intensity and the compulsion to resolve it. I can’t think of anything else. Yet once in bondage, itches fade away. It’s almost like my brain has a switch it can flip – if I physically can’t fix the itch then no point bugging me about it. I’ve never had to stop play to get an itch scratched. But when the ropes or straps come off, any irritation immediately returns.

This lady is about to administer a two for one deal – pain and itching combined, thanks to a big bundle of stinging nettles. This is obviously originally from Femme Fatale Films.

Splashproof

There’s a lot to dislike about this image. It’s got the classic 70’s domme stare, the limp whip holding and the collar that’d be better suited to a submissive. Not to mention the weird crossed swords behind her. Who ever though that fake medieval weapons were a good look for a room?

On the plus side, her boots, gloves and natural beauty do make it work. However, what really sold me on it was the fetishistic apron-like dress. There’s something both disturbing and sexy about that. What’s going to spurt, splash or squirt that she needs protection from? And not just a small amount of protection. That’s a waist to heel cover. She’s ready for things to get seriously messy.

A Double Dose

I’m fortunate that most of the feedback I receive for this blog is positive and appreciative. That said, there is one singular and common complaint that I find regularly jamming up my inbox. It generally follows the form of – ‘I love your witty writing and insight into kink. But why can’t we have more of it? One blog just isn’t enough! Can you please give us more of paltego?’

I find these kind of complaints somewhat annoying, but I also hate to disappoint anyone. So for this group of totally genuine and not at all imaginary people,  I give you a lengthy interview with me on the blog of the fabulous Miss Ava Zhang.

In all seriousness, it was an interesting and enjoyable process to think through the questions Miss Zhang posed, as well as pleasure to hear her feedback. While I have this site as my personal soapbox, I try and keep posts here short and to the point. Writing in more detail forced me to clarify my thoughts and do a degree of self-analysis. That’s probably an exercise I could do with repeating more often.

Miss Zhang is based in NYC, but also tours regularly. I’ve not been lucky enough to session with her (yet!), but based on my interactions for this interview, I think she’d be an amazing person to know and submit to.

I love the blend of elegance, composure and just a touch of fetish in this shot. It’s from Miss Zhang’s gallery page.

Resolutions

I gave up on New Year resolutions years ago. Typically they were always things like ‘drink less’ or ‘exercise more’ and were destined to failure. Then I’d feel bad about not doing them, while still achieving nothing. Kind of a lose-lose situation. Eventually I figured out I could achieve exactly the same end result, minus the negative feelings, by skipping the whole resolution part at the start. It was an elegant solution based on the thinking of the famous philosopher Homer.

This year I’ve decided to try a new approach. I will set resolutions, but they’ll be fun kink related things I want to do anyway and that have a clear positive and immediate outcome. That means I’ll feel good when I do them, and feel good about hitting my resolutions. It’s a win-win. So far I’m come up with these three….

  1. Find a new domme to play with in Seattle. Ever since Lydia retired I’ve only played when travelling. I think I need someone, professional or not, that I can get to know and grow with.
  2. Spend around $50 a month on online kinky content creators. This could be via things like Patreon, or erotic literature or simply commercial kink sites. I’ve been erratic in the past with my support here, so I’m going to aim for consistency.
  3. Attend a local fetish event. This is probably the most challenging. I’m naturally a shy person, so meeting new people in a group is always very stressful. I also dislike fetlife, which seems to be the primary way to interact with fetish communities.

Doubtless I’ll keep the blog informed on how I progress with these. In the meantime I wish everyone luck with their resolutions, assuming they have any. Of course for a submissive, the alternative to luck can be a firm guiding hand from a dominant. If you’re a male in NYC and lack a partner to keep you on the straight and narrow, then perhaps someone like Mistress Mal Martine can help out? She lists discipline, slave training and behavior modification as favorite activities. Sounds perfect for the irresolute of their resolutions.

Mistress Mal MartineThis if from her tumblr and was originally shot by Stark-Arts.

Guns, Girls and Gauloises

I always find myself somewhat conflicted when I come to write about specialized femdom pornography that caters to certain fetish niches. On the one hand it’s undoubtedly true that there’s lack of good porn that captures the intimacy, sensuality and dynamics of femdom relationships. On the other hand, that doesn’t make the sites catering to the more classic fetish niches invalid. I might wish there were more good French restaurants in my town, but that doesn’t mean I should be mad at the Mexican restaurants. Particularly if they’re really good Mexican.

The latest site that prompted this thought process is Perfect Villainess. As its homepage makes clear, it has a very specific focus – the classic femme fatale. For members there are lots of image galleries (200+) of attractive ladies smoking, brandishing guns, flexing crops and offering the camera smoldering looks. If that’s your particular thing, then it’s worth checking out. It’s images only, and solo female only, but I think that works for these kind of classic shots.

In some ways this kind of site is the antithesis of what kinky porn used to be like 10+ years ago. I remember ‘kinky’ image photosets that would start with everyone in full fetish gear, and by image 7 of 100, everyone would be naked and screwing. That was very frustrating. Now it’s a lot easier to find quality sites to scratch specific fetish itches. I can only hope the complexity, depth and variety in those niches continues to grow.

This is Letizia from a gallery on Perfect Villainess. You can follow their tumblr here.

Note the owner of Perfect Villainess dropped me a note and asked if I’d be interested in taking a look at it. I didn’t get anything for writing about it, and I don’t get a cut of anyone who joins. I was just interested in featuring it.

We have the technology

I’m continuing the theme of well furnished playspaces and fancy equipment with this image. Although this has more of the mad scientists laboratory about it than a medical space. It’s just missing the big lightning conductor on the roof to channel the charge down to the chamber below.

I recognize some of the electrical devices, but a lot of it looks custom made. There’s even a laptop there to control things. I particularly like the black articulated arms on the sides of the chair. They look just the thing for holding pointy probes in the perfect spot on your test subjects body.

EquipmentI’m afraid I’ve no idea who this very well equipped domme is. If anyone can help out with an attribution then please leave a comment.

Update : Thanks to a very helpful comment I now know this image comes from This girl’s weblog. And because I’m incredibly anal retentive about some stuff, I hunted through a great many posts to find the original one for the image. For fans of serious bondage the blog looks a very interesting one to follow.

Black and white

I like this shot for the way it plays with a cliche. The smartly dressed domme, with the leather pencil skirt, smart suit and tight gloves is a cliche. The kneeling naked slave is a cliche. This suggests both of them, but composes it in an interesting way that allows the viewer to impose their own fantasies. For a fetishistic shot it’s also surprisingly sweet. The clasped hands give it an unusual twist.

LeatherSkirtI’m afraid I’ve been unable to track down an original source for the image. If anyone can point me in the right direction, then please leave a comment.

Worship on her terms

I don’t feature a lot of foot worship shots. It’s not a fetish of mine so it tends to get neglected. I also try and aim for stuff that appeals to both sides of the D/s coin, and most femdom foot worship shots seem very male biased.

I like this one however. Firstly, she has a cool outfit. Secondly, she has a nice smile and seems to be having fun with it. Third and finally, she has a pretty good grip on his ear. The instant she gets bored with the situation, I think he’ll be moving upwards pretty quickly. That is if he wants to remain attached to that ear lobe.

Foot WorshipThis image is from the Women Worship site.

Afternoon Tea

I’ve seen many photographs of mistresses pouring a variety of fluids into the mouths of their submissives. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen tea used before, and certainly never in quite such a decorous fashion. Teabagging is undoubtedly a thing some people are into, but I’ve never heard of teapotting. I wonder where she stuffed the cucumber sandwiches?

Taking high tea in the afternoon is a tradition still occasionally observed in England, so it’s fitting that this charming photograph is from the London based Miss Martinet. If you’re in London or Bristol and fancy being on the receiving end of her whip, cane or teapot, then her contact information is here.

Tea Time

I originally stumbled across this image on the Velvet Underground tumblr.

Site Updates

I’ve refreshed the Femdom Image page. Dead or dormant sites have been removed and I’ve added a selection of new links. The new additions are…

Hopefully there will be something of interest in that list for a wide variety of my readers.

The image below I found via one of the new sites (Mia Findomme). It’s originally from the CBT and Ballbusting site and features Catherine de Sade. You can see an animated gif from the same scene on my tumblr.

Catherine de Sade