Domina Colette

My short sojourn in San Francisco has come to an end. Happily it finished on a high, thanks to a wonderful session with Domina Colette.

This was the first time we’d played together and initial meetings always have a touch of extra stress about them. Fortunately, any nerves quickly dissipated once we started talking and then easing into the scene. Sometimes you just know a session is going to be a great one right from the start. I’d like to think that’s about chemistry and shared energy, but I suspect a big part of it is down to the skill of the dominant in carving out a safe virtual space for the scene to unfold into.

Compared to the two sessions from the start of my trip, this upped the masochistic side slightly, whilst still retaining a lot of tease and denial elements. I particularly enjoyed Domina Colette’s very hands on approach to nipple torture.  Often when doing CBT and NT, there’ll be  a lot of the C and the B, not some much of the N. Slap a pair of nipple clamps on and then immediately head south frequently seems to be the approach. Colette took a much more balanced approach, mixing pain and pleasure between the different areas, and using her touch to alternately ground me, tease me and hurt me. She promised me a lasting memento of our session, and the tenderness across my chest the next day was certainly that. Just the movement of my clothes against it would trigger a mild wave of pain and then a happy smile.

If you’re interested in the possibility of a session with Domina Colette, or just want to see more images like the one below, then her professional site is here and her twitter feed here. She also has a passion project called Pervette, which I think deserves a post in it’s own right. It’s kind of a choose your own adventure, transmedia labyrinth and storytelling guidebook. Check it out and I’ll return to it in a future post.

This image of Colette and her silent maids is from her twitter feed.

Stairs to Nowhere

Ascending a red carpet staircase fashioned from the bodies of willing slaves sounds all very well in principle, but what happens when she reaches the end? Is there a light bulb there that needs changing? A hard to reach book? Or perhaps an annoying smoke alarm that will not stop beeping? If so, would it not be more practical to get the slaves to deal with the problem? She could find a chair, put her feet up, and watch the naked slaves try to form a human pyramid. That seems like it’d be a lot more fun.

The image is by Eric Madeleine and is from 1997. Despite my poking fun, I actually do like the shot. There are a few other equally striking ones on his site.

Adding Insult to Injury

Some days you just want to punch something. This would unfortunately be one of them.

The initial trigger for this anger was seeing that Alchemy Rooms, the playspace of UK based Mistress Tess, had been broken into and vandalized. You can see some of the results in this tweet and this one. It pretty clearly wasn’t a burglary or random destruction. This was some fuck head on a targeted mission to ruin the space.

As often happens these days when something like this happens, a GoFundMe was set-up to help Mistress Tess out. I was actually planning to feature a link to it in a post today. Yet, incredibly it got shut down because of some vague and unspecified terms of service violation. These was nothing pornographic in the appeal, the funds were clearly going to fix the vandalism, and the police had been informed. Professional domination is entirely legal in the UK, but apparently the merest suggestion of BDSM is enough to get a very worthwhile appeal pulled.

The good news is that, according to this follow-up tweet, Mistress Tess will at least get the money that had been raised before the shutdown. But if you ever needed a story that encapsulates the many challenges that sex workers face, this one pretty much captures it all. In the meantime, if you want to support Mistress Tess, then buy some of her clips.  You get femdom porn and she gets money to help rebuild her space. Which in turn she can use to make more money and give people amazing kinky experiences. It’s a win-win-win.

You can see more shots like this at Mistress Tess’ main site. Her clips can be purchased at clips4sale and iwantclips.

You’re a dirty, dirty voter

Given the US midterms are upon us (Go Vote! Go Vote!) it seems an appropriate time to feature this article by Justin Lehmiller on the differing sexual fantasies of liberals and conservatives. Lehmiller, who is a fellow at the Kinsey institute, surveyed thousands of American adults and discovered that while the frequency of fantasizes is shared, the subject matter isn’t.

Republicans thought a lot about swinging, infidelity, orgies and cuckolding. In contrast Democrats kinked on BDSM, masochism and D/s dynamics, leading Stephen Colbet to have some fun with the survey on his show.  Lehmiller attributes these differences to a theory called reactance, where people are drawn to what is forbidden to them. So conservatives, who traditionally support strong social structures and group cohesion, are drawn to activities that would disrupt that. Liberals, who prioritize individual freedom and caring for others, are similarly excited by dynamics that impose control and punishment. I’m not quite sure where that leaves people like myself, who find all of the above exciting. Does that make me a swing voter or just a pervert?

I hadn’t intended to turn this into yet another book themed post, but the discussion of conservative and liberal values reminds me of one of the best books I read this year – The Righteous Mind.  This is a total aside, as it’s not related to kink at all, but if you’re at all interested in psychology and how people reason about politics and religion, it’s absolutely worth reading. As someone from the liberal side of the fence it definitely gave me a better understanding and appreciation of the conservative mindset.*

In the spirit of bipartisanship, I’ll leave you with an image that should appeal to all. There’s clearly an orgy and voyeuristic angle here, as well as a BDSM one. It’s by sylverarts.

* I should qualify that when I talk about the conservative mindset, I’m talking about the traditional conservative values, not what Trump and the GOP have morphed them into. Trump is to conservatism as Bernie Madoff is to the financial planning industry.

Double cuckold

I really could spend the next week or two posting amusing cuckold porn pictures. For the sake of the sanity of my readers, I’ll try to limit it to just a post or two.

This one is the rarely spotted double cuckold shot. There’s the standard hot lady with lots of makeup, the sad guy in badly fitting lingerie and the disembodied big black penis. However, as an added bonus, there’s a crazy wild eyed guy who staring at the camera while having his face mashed into her bottom. It’s really three classic expressions. There’s the porny come hither look, the sad panda look and then there’s the guy channeling the spirit of Igor/Eyegor from Young Frankenstein. At least they’re playing tribute to a classic.

Edyn Blair in Cukold Sessions shotThe lady is Edyn Blair shooting for the Cuckold Sessions site.

Project manager

I’m afraid my blogging might be a bit erratic for the next few weeks. I have contractors in to do some remodeling work on my place. Unfortunately our work habits don’t mesh all that well. I like to stay up late drinking wine and writing. They like to turn up very early and hit things with hammers. Asking them to hammer quietly has so far not met with success. The end result is a grouchy paltego with not much time to write at night before he falls asleep.

What I really need is a take charge project manager who can get things done in half the time and a quarter the volume. The lady below looks like she wouldn’t take any nonsense when it came to civilized working hours.

BossThis is Yulia Kharlapanova shooting for Harper’s Bazaar.

Kinky Kitchen

While I’m on the topic of slightly odd kinky scenes in unusual places – here’s some rope bondage in the kitchen. Again, I’ve no idea what the idea behind this shot is but, unlike the last post, I do kind of like this scene. The smartly dressed guys and the play on the 50’s style housewife with a wink and a whip makes me smile.

Kinky KitchenI found this on the Gentle Mistress tumblr. I’m afraid I don’t have any idea where it’s originally from.

Black Widow

The new Avengers movie is out in a few weeks. While I enjoyed the last one, I thought it was a great comic book movie, rather than a great movie in its own right. As a big Joss Whedon fan I’m hoping this new one takes it up a notch.  I’m particularly looking forward to seeing Scarlett Johansson continue in her role as Black Widow. Joss has always done a great job with strong female characters, so this should really play to his strength.

The image below is from the cover of Black Widow #14. I’ve not read this particular comic, but it’s a fun image, despite the incredibly ineffectual gags on display. Somebody with BDSM experience should tell the artist that a professional like Black Widow would never use the cliched handkerchief gag. They’re hopeless at silencing people.

BlackWidow

Real Sex

The Vulture site is carrying an interesting article on the old HBO show Real Sex. I was amazed to discover it first aired back in 1990 and ran for almost 20 years. I didn’t encounter it until I moved to the States in 2001 and, based on the frank manner it addressed sex, had always assumed it was of a fairly recent vintage.

It was by no means a great show. Although the article claims they aimed to be sincere and to laugh ‘with’ and not ‘at’ the people involved, I always detected an undercurrent of cynicism. Beneath the veneer of education and illumination there were clearly elements of titillation (ok with me) and mockery (not so good). However, all that said, I think it still was a net positive in helping people talk more frankly about their sexual interests. For example, this post from D. Hubby directly references the effect an episode on spanking had on his life.

One particular part of the interview that caught me eye was this quote…

It was always a challenge for us to find good-looking people. It’s certainly true of nudists, but a lot of people doing weird sex stuff are not necessarily young and attractive.
Katie Smalheer, associate/coordinating/supervising producer, 1996–2005

I think that’s a very telling comment. It could be taken to mean that people doing ‘weird sex stuff’ are unusually unattractive.The reality is that this media filtered view of the world is incredibly biased. Visual attractiveness is a valued commodity, particularly when nakedness is involved. Almost all commercial visual media picks from a tiny pool of conventionally attractive people. People into ‘weird sex stuff’ are simply a normal cross-section of the populace, and that clashes with the narrow selection criteria we normally expect for naked people on film. Our perception of what is acceptable or normal is horribly skewed.

I don’t have a particularly great image to use for this post, so I’ll finish with the kind of scene that I’m sure Real Sex would have loved to feature. That Miss Eve from the Young Dommes site.

Miss Eve

That’s not how bodies work…

The image in yesterday’s post put me in mind of the Escher Girls tumblr. If you’ve never encountered this before it’s a tumblr dedicated to highlighting the ridiculous way women are often depicted in pop media. The quintessential pose for this is the boob+butt combination as shown here (magna style) and here (western style). It’s one of those things that’s so ingrained in the culture that you don’t particularly notice it until it’s pointed out. And then when you look for it, you see it everywhere. For example, there’s the weird bendy spines, the bizzare amour choices, the sexualized poses, the submissive captives and generally fucked up anatomy. Yesterday’s image has both a curved back pose and an over the shoulder look, but the anatomical contrast to the typical comic book shot is striking.

I’ll leave you with a drawing that certainly doesn’t suffer from distorted figures or oddly sexualized poses. Although that’s not to say it’s not kind of sexy.

PolyandyThis is by Keisha on deviant art (free account required). I found it on the Femdom7 site.