The beauty of dominant women
CFNM isn’t typically my thing. Yet somehow this image manages to be oddly appealing. I think it’s because everyone in it looks so comfortable. The guys appear happy and confident being naked, while she seems relaxed and enjoying being the centre of attention. It looks like everyone is having fun with it.
I’d guess this is the work of an independent photographer, but I haven’t tracked down the original source. I found it on the because you are mine tumblr.
My previous post linked to an article on kink and sexual orientation by Jillian Keenan. One bit of it caught my eye in particular.
For years, I identified as bisexual because I’m sexually attracted to both men and women and have acted on that attraction. But in recent years, as I explored my own sexuality more, I’ve realized that’s not quite accurate. I’m not attracted to men or women as a group—I’m attracted to “tops,” or sexually dominant people, as a group; their gender is irrelevant. Many kinky people describe similar feelings.
I thought that was an interesting statement, although I do have a couple of questions about it. Firstly, if a man is attracted to primarily dominant women, is he no longer heterosexual? Or is he’s attracted only to submissive guys, is he not homosexual? I don’t think we define D/s attraction as mutually exclusive with gender attraction in those situations, so it seems odd to do so in the bisexual case. Secondly, if you read the other article she wrote about her spanking history, she clearly identifies that her husband is vanilla. Yet she still fell in love with him, which seems to be slightly contradictory to the above quote.
Those niggles aside, I do think there’s something in what she’s suggesting. I’m not sure if there are a lot of kinky people who match the exact profile she describes, but there’s definitely more fluidity around sexual identity. Partly this might be because it’s a self-selecting group of people with an obvious disposition to try new things and experiment sexually. However, I also think that dominance and submission can sometimes create such powerful feelings and emotions that it can override or short circuit someone’s common gender preference. I can’t image myself in a romantic relationship with a man, or having a conventional sexual relationship with one, but I can imagine trying a FM/m dynamic. Or even even doing a M/m play scene, provided the kinky dynamic was set up in such a way to override my inbuilt sexual preference for women.
I’m not sure where this image is originally from. I found it on the Alternative Female Domination tumblr.
I was amused when I first spotted this image. I couldn’t tell if I should file it under CFNM or WTF. I was less amused when I discovered it was shot by the Reality Kings site. Their parent company is D&E Media, which owns a bunch of porn sites. Unfortunately their reputation in the industry is less than stellar. They have a bad reputation with performers, and have been accused of using under age actresses. The one decisions Belle Knox (the Duke student who made the news for starring in porn) said that she’d take back was shooting for one of their sites. While there’s nothing definitively proven one way or another, I’d certainly feel uncomfortable sending any of my dollars in their direction.
It reminded me me of this old post from Eros Blog on researching the background of the porn you buy. Femdom material is particularly easy in that respect, as there are so many independent women producing it. Just off my blogroll I can point to the wonderful Mistress T, the English Mansion of Mistress Sidonia, Lady Annisa’s Medial Fetish clips and the Femme Fatale Films of Mistress Eleise de Lacy. All these producers write about their work and lives, as well as offer great femdom material. There’s also a huge number of independent pro-dommes offering clips for sale. For example – Irene Boss, Cybill Troy, Goddess Cheyenne and Elena De Luca. It’s easy to find testimonials from submissives who have played with and shot for these dommes.
I’m not suggesting that before reblogging a tumblr image you need the life story of all the models, technical crew and the guy who made them coffee. But if you’re going to buy porn (and it doesn’t get magically created for free), then why not send the money to the people you know are creating it ethically and conscientiously? They’re not hard to find in the femdom genre.
I originally found this image on the Beautiful CFNM tumblr.
There’s an interesting post and set of follow-up comments on the subject of cuckolding over at the Not Just Bitchy blog. It’s a thread that’s well worth reading if you’re at all interested in the topic.
I may put up some thoughts of my own in a later post, but in the meantime let me address one burning issue that Stabbity and friends are sadly neglecting: What is it with facial expressions in cuckold porn? Strange expressions in porn are nothing new, but they seem particularly bad in the cuckold genre. There’s always a smug bull and an aghast cuckold, along with a female porn star playing the role like every other sex scene that she’s ever done. The example below is a good case in point. For further proof see this and this. They make me laugh, but that’s probably not the intended effect. Can kinky film producers not chip in for a few acting lessons for their cuckold stars?
The images are from the Cum Eating Cuckolds site. I should add that the ‘cuckold’ above is Deviant Kade, a man who has done many excellent and well acted femdom scenes in the past.
Here’s a piece of art that I suspect will divide my readers into two distinct groups of ‘love it’ and ‘hate it’. I’m in the former, as I love the connection between her and the submissive. There’s his plaintive look, the eye contact, her hand on his head and his hand around her thigh. Pure man on man action doesn’t do much for me, but add a feminine element into the mix and somehow it works. I know for others the prospect of sweaty man sex is always a deal breaker.
The image puts me in mind of a story called Basement Suite by Orestes. If you like the image you might want to check that out. And if you like that story, I’d also suggest Equal Partners by the same author. That has similar themes with some cross dressing and forced feminization thrown into the mix.
The image is signed ‘Galuss’, but I’m afraid I’ve failed to track down any information at all on that artist. The only examples I’ve found with similar names look completely different in style. If you know anything about the artist then please leave me a comment. I found it originally on the Felm Cyber tumblr.
I thought this was an interesting article on the history of the word pervert. Apparently it started off as a word to describe an atheist. It wasn’t till the end of the 19th Century that it became associated with sexual depravity. Prior to that unconventional sexual acts were simply seen as a sign of moral degeneracy and decadence. It was the early sexologists who created the idea of sexual desire being an orientation and re-purposed perversion (‘turning away from the right course’) to describe people who fitted into that group.
The really shocking thing about this is that it means the highly historically accurate Blackadder II, set in 16th Century Elizabethan England, used the word incorrectly for the character of the baby eating bishop of Bath and Wells.
Bishop: Yes. You see, I am a colossal pervert. No form of sexual depravity is too low for me. Animal, vegetable or mineral — I’ll do anything to anything.
Edmund: Fine words for a Bishop. It’s nice to hear the Church speaking out for a change on social issues.
The clip itself can be seen here. And for any of my US readers who have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about, I suggest checking out one of the most brilliant comedy series ever recorded. It’s currently on NetFlix streaming, although I’d recommend skipping the first season and sticking to seasons 2, 3 and 4.
As for an image I wanted something featuring a whole heap of perversity, and the one below seemed to fit the bill. There’s bondage, cross-dressing, cuckolding, homosexuality and butt plugs. All sorts of good stuff.
I found the image via the sissiebondage tumblr and once again I’ve failed to track down an original source for it. Either Google reverse image search is really sucking these days or I’m picking particularly obscure images. If anyone knows the artist then feel free to leave a comment.
Dan Savage recently published an interesting series of letters on cuckolding. They were all from people who were either involved in it or fantasizing about it. The first featured a woman justifiably frustrated at her husband continually forcing the fantasy into their love life. The second features a man’s perspective on the fantasy. Finally, a series of four letters from women details both their good and bad experiences with it.
It’s not a topic I talk much about on this blog. It strikes me as a very contextual activity that’s hard to address in the abstract. The tease and denial aspect of it seem very hot to me. The potential contrast between their pleasure and my frustration is certainly a button pusher. However, I find it hard to relate to the emotional components, and that seems to be a key part for most cuckold couples.
Purely on the basis of a risk/reward calculation, it does seem to be one of the more dangerous kinky things to dabble in. Most activities can be tried without risking major fallout. Experimenting to see if you both like floggers or rope bondage is unlikely to decimate the landscape of a relationship. Cuckolding is more of a nuclear option. Great if it works, but you’ll be cleaning the mess up for years if it doesn’t.
The above image is originally from the Merciless Women site. I found it on the Cuckold Collection tumblr.
Welcome to my aftercare. Specifically stage 3 of my aftercare. I did a heavy breathplay session with Lydia earlier this evening, and now I’m slowly easing myself back into the world.
Stage 1 of aftercare happens while I’m naked and sweaty. Bits of equipment are still scattered around and straps or rope remain to be untangled. The conversation is light and giddy. I’m still floating from endorphins and want to chat about what we just did. Shaking and laughter may spontaneously erupt.
Stage 2 is when clothes have been pulled on, hair dragged back into place and my keys and phone located. It’s the casual conversation afterwards. What plans we have. Who is traveling where. What bizarre situations we’ve encountered recently (Lydia normally wins that one). It’s a nice way to transition from the slightly surreal confines of a BDSM play space to a damp Seattle night.
Stage 3 is my selfcare. It’s where I pamper myself. It’s not quite as elaborate as D humorously describes in her recent aftercare post. A massage, bubble bath and dinner at my favorite restaurant sounds perfect. I’m having to make do with some Jamón ibérico, French bread, brie and champagne. But that doesn’t suck as a way to unwind after a session. I guess I’m also writing this post, which is another way for me to relax. So thanks to everyone out there for being another part of my aftercare process.
It’s tough to find shots of aftercare. So instead he’s an image of somebody being pampered in the style to which she looks accustomed. I’m not normally someone who’d like naked slaves around, but a helpful body to bring me a glass of wine after a scene would be nice. I found this on the Vengeful Goddess tumblr. It’s originally from Divine Bitches.
I was chatting to a vanilla friend about kink recently. Nothing to explicit. Just a very general discussion about the psychological and emotional elements of it. She’s not kinky but is a pretty experienced and well rounded person. So I was surprised to hear her suggest that obviously my kinky interests would replace any interest I had in PIV sex. Apparently in her mind once someone started down the slope of rope, leather and whips, they were forever lost to the world of regular intercourse.
I was initially kind of shocked by this. I see my kinky interests expanding my horizons, not limiting them. I love a good regular fuck as much as the next non-kinky guy. Why would one pleasure replace another? However, in hindsight I can kind of see where she was coming from. The mainstream representation of kink normally features people with serious hang-ups and highly specific interests. Fetishists and sadomasochists are often portrayed as constantly pushing their limits, interested only in seeking their next big rush. Even the original definition of masochism, by Krafft-Ebing, defined it as a replacement of normal sexual life.
By this perversion his sexual instinct is often made more or less insensible to the normal charms of the opposite sex – incapable of a normal sexual life – psychically impotent.
Krafft-Ebing from Psychopath Sexualize, 1876
In reality I suspect that the percentage of kinky people who have no interest in regular sex is very small. When I mentioned this topic to Lydia she guest-imated that number at 5% of kinky people. I think that number would come as a big surprise to a lot of vanilla folks.
Of course it’s possible I haven’t just had the right mind-blowing kinky experience yet. Would a FMM threesome be the thing to push me onto a slippery slope of depravity I can never return from? I feel it’s my duty to investigate further. While I do so, I’ll leave you to enjoy this threesome image found on the Selina Minx tumblr.
Today marks my last full day in Vegas before flying back to Seattle. Sadly I haven’t yet managed to get myself as pampered as the lady below, but it has been close at times. I was going to add that every hotel room should come with a couple of naked helpers to help pour the champagne, but then it struck me I’m a masochist/submissive, so I’d probably get bored with that.
I haven’t got up to any kinky shenanigans this trip, but for anyone planning on mixing travel with kink, Lily has a useful post she published a few days ago.
I found this on the Geek Domme tumblr. The watermark doesn’t appear to go to a still valid site.
