Shivers in LA

My kinky odyssey in LA started today with a fabulous session with Mistress Iris. As I mentioned the last time we played, she’s one of the few (only?) dommes who can push me into subspace without pain being involved. Normally my masochistic side has to get involved to get me spacey, but today I got little adrenaline body shivers just from teasing, pinching, slapping and light bondage. She has a real knack for managing to be both sensual and reserved, intimate but also unobtainable. It’s a style that works wonderfully well for tease and denial. Plus, we also laughed a lot. There’s nothing sexier than a happy, laughing domme.

This is from Mistress Iris’s gallery page. If you’re interested in setting up a session yourself she has a number of tour dates listed.

Travels

It’s wet in Seattle and it’s cold in Seattle. The holiday season is over and the year stretches before me. This can mean only one thing – time for paltego to take a vacation. Ideally somewhere warm, with a multitude of food and kinky possibilities. So watch out Los Angeles, here I come.

As usual I’ll try and keep blogging while I’m away. I have some kinky play lined up, so hopefully I’ll have some interesting experiences to share.

I’ll leave you with an image of someone having an interesting kinky experience of their own. It’s not often you see suspension bondage, face sitting and selfie taking all combined.

This is from natsumi @723StudioK.

Blogroll Updates and #SOSS

I’ve been doing a very bad job of supporting the #SOSS movement. Some might even go as far as to say the job has been non-existent to date, and those people would not be wrong. Hopefully joining in late will not prevent my hanging with all the cool kids who have been doing it for months now.

For those who have no idea what I’m talking about, SOSS is Share Our Shit Saturday – designed to encourage sharing of sex related writing online.  It started from Girl on the Net and Bacchus at ErosBlog. The underlying issue is the dominance of closed platforms on the internet and their hostility to sex related content. So lets share our shit on the open web and actively encourage people to discover interesting adult content on other sites. Arguably that is what this site has always been about, mostly because I’m lazy and it’s easier to link to talent than to possess it always a leader in social trends.

I decided the first thing I needed to do was update my blogroll and blog page, neither of which had been touched for months. Dead links are gone and I’ve added the following new (to me) blogs…

As far as sharing writing that I’ve enjoyed…

As is my custom, I like to finish a post with some visual loveliness. One of the new blogs – Pain as Pleasure – is written by a kinky man who goes by the handle BibulousOne. He’s written at length about his relationship with Mistress Elita, which gives me a very tenuous excuse for featuring these great images from her professional site.

Mistress Elita is a London based pro-domme. If you’re interested in arranging a session, her site contains all the necessary contact information.

Parallel Universe

Photographer Eli Rezkallah has created an amusing twist on sexist vintage advertising in a series called Parallel Universe. I’m sure a lot of my readers will have encountered his inspiration material in articles like this one. It’s classic clickbait, guaranteed to both amuse, appall and make you marvel how far the world has moved on. He’s taken specific original ads and reshot them with a gender reverse.

I like the idea, but can’t help feeling that there’s a missed opportunity for the companies here. A lot of them are still around. For example, you can still buy Chase & Sanborn coffee, creators of the original ad below. They should reshoot their ad themselves with the gender reverse (or use just Eli’s version) and issue it as a new ad. They could claim it was a both a joke and an implicit acknowledgement of their past mistakes. It’d get loads of publicity  and generate social media controversy – both of which appear to be the primary goals of modern advertising.

The Safeword is ‘Thief!’

This article title really captures the whole story – ‘Woman disguised as dominatrix ties man to his bed and robs him‘. Apparently a German man managed to get both financial domination and bondage packed into a single session. The bondage was consensual, but the 1800 Euro theft less so.

I can’t say I’ve ever been worried about theft, given I always play with well established professionals. However, I do sometimes wonder what would happen if something went wrong after I’ve been wrapped in rope. Often that thought strikes me as the domme is trying to balance in high heels while clambering around the bondage table several feet off the ground. I doubt I’d be much of a Houdini is there was a fall and I had to try and escape to get help for her.  Fortunately, another benefit of playing with experienced dommes is that they’re experts in maneuvering in impractical footwear.

I’m going to go out on a limb here, and predict that the thief in the original article is not an expert rigger. I picture the scene unfolding a little like this vintage bondage shot. She came equipped with rope and it was probably more clothesline than the specialized hemp based stuff.

I’m afraid I don’t know the creator of this image. For anyone who complains about the bondage in porn today, keep in mind that back in 70’s it was hard to find and looked like this when it did show up (so I’m told).

Intense Pegging

I’ve no idea how to embed a tumblr video into a blog post, so I’ll just have to provide this lame link to a hot pegging video and rely on you, my treasured reader, to follow it. There are all sorts of ‘intense’ pegging videos online – with dommes sporting enormous dildos and dominating the hell out of their hapless submissives. This isn’t one of those. For me intensity in pegging comes from the sensuality and the connection formed. Two people deep in an intimate moment. This video might be from a porn shot, but it has a lot more of that sensuality and intimacy than I normally see.

Given my lack of embedding mojo, I needed some other eye candy for this post, so here’s a sexy pegging artwork. It’s not the same vibe as the video, but I like it all the same.

I’m afraid I’ve no idea who the artist for this is.

Update: Thanks to a helpful comment I can now attribute this to the artist Tang. You can find more of their work at this tumblr and their personal site.

Parental Figures

My random thought of the day – originally over a coffee and delicious filled doughnut at my favorite local haunt – was how differently we treat the emotionally loaded words ‘Mommy’ and ‘Daddy’ in kink.

In M/f relationships there are obviously some people who like to roleplay actual father/daughter relationships. That squeaks some people out, but it’s clearly a thing for others. However, a lot of the use of the term ‘Daddy’ seems to be about a more abstract concept of a loving authoritarian figure rather than an actual relative. Typically when someone talks about wanting a Daddy-Dom or a Daddy/Baby relationship they’re using it as a shorthand for a style of relationship rather than claiming an incest kink. Based on my limited and entirely anecdotal observations, I’d say this second more abstract usage is a lot more prevalent than the first.

In F/m interactions I never see this dual use. The more abstract idea doesn’t exist. Any reference to ‘Mommy’ is always about incest roleplay of the naughty son who needs disciplining, educating or restraining. I don’t see dominant women describe themselves as ‘Mommies’ and pro-dommes always list ‘Mommy’ under their roleplay sections rather than their style of play. Mommy Dom never gets used as a label in the same abstract way Daddy Dom does.

In fact I’ve even seen some dommes on twitter describe themselves as Daddies via expressions like “Who’s your Daddy now?” and “Daddy’s Home!” I get why they’d do this, but it seems somewhat odd for a female dominant to draw on a male archetype to emphasize dominance.

I’m afraid I’ve no conclusion to finish with. Nor do I have a value judgement about the current state of affairs. I just thought it was an interesting observation to share. Why the difference between the two? Or am I wrong in my anecdotal observations?

Artwork is by Barbara O’Toole who often seemed to specialize in the older women – young man genre.

Wanted: Friendly Barista with Warm Hands

I’m beginning to think that Gwyneth Paltrow has a fetish for getting people to put odd things into their intimate places. There was the vaginal steaming, then the jade eggs and now it’s coffee enemas. Given the amount she charges for this stuff, there might also be an element of fin-domme going on as well.

While some of us would find daily life tough to face without our regular caffeine fix, it’s probably best to avoid taking it anally. The same goes for that other popular social beverage – alcohol. Not sure what the science says about the scene below though. I’m going to guess doctors would cite a lack of prior data and urge caution.

This is the lovely Mistress Eleise De Lacy in a shot for Femme Fatale Films.

Preparing Backstage

I love this transformation shot from Maitresse Nuit. They both look so focused and happy. The style makes me think of Weimar Germany in the 1920’s. Once the transformation is complete, I can just imagine the two of them strutting out into a smoky 1920’s nightclub. They’d sip a cocktail, take a turn with the cabaret and flirt with rich aristocrats. A hedonistic delight.

The photographer of this beautiful image is Lucina Nathanael.

Introduce Yourself

Contacting a professional domme I’ve not talked to before is always an interesting experience. There’s a surprising degree of variance in the process. Some dommes are immediately chatty and responsive, others assume I’m a time waster until proven otherwise. Sometimes there’s a lot of protocol, other times it’s a more relaxed and casual discussion. Deposits may or may not be required, as might a telephone chat. Some dommes want lots of detail on my interests, experiences and limits. Others save all that for when we meet in person.

There’s one phrase that occasional pops up in the initial emails that always makes me smile. The wording can vary, but it’s generally something like – “Describe how you want to serve me.” I totally get why this phrase is popular  – it emphasizes the power dynamic and makes it clear who is ultimately in charge of what happens in the session. At the same time it does wake up a couple of contrarian personalities that lurk within me.

My practical inner engineer wants to reply that I can only serve someone if I know what they need doing at this particular point in time and how my skill set might mesh with that set of requirements. So maybe if they send their list of problems and I send my list of skills, maybe we can figure something out? I’ve never succumbed to my inner engineer because I fear the problems will turn out to be a dirty car and being insufficiently rich, and I’ll end up paying $300 an hour to scrub brake dust off a dommes hubcaps.

My snotty inner brat wants to reply that I’d like to serve her by dragging my middle-aged out-of-shape ass to her  well equipped play space so the skilled and attractive domme in question can greet me in one of her exciting fetish outfits.  Then I’d like to continue serving her by exploring together some of the kinky activities that I most enjoy. Finally, I’ll complete my service by getting dressed and going home to collapse on the couch with a glass of wine while she clears up the play space. Needless to say, my snotty inner brat is never allowed anywhere near a session negotiation.

Like I said, and sarcasm aside, I do understand the motive behind that expression. I just find that in emphasizing the fantasy, it actually highlights how far a typical professional session can be from it. In the vast majority of cases it’s service topping, not service bottoming.

Here’s a man selflessly serving by allowing himself to be tied up and have his cock played with by a naked lady. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it.