Me, me, me also …

Mistress T’s blog is always entertaining to read, but her last couple of posts have been particularly intriguing. The first was a list of qualities she looked for in a potential mate and an invitation for any guys who matched up to email her. This struck me as a post likely to attract both attention and a wide range of responses. As Mistress Eleise de Lacy recently wrote and I’ve posted on in the past, the online dating story for dominant women is not a pretty one. I’m sure that it’s only a small fraction of men that ruin it for the rest of us. However, with 3 billion men in the world, even if only 1% are interested in dominant women, and only 1% of those are idiots, that’s still 300,000 socially challenged males to deal with.

I was fully expecting to see a follow-up post where Mistress T tried to inject a little reality into the responses. Something along the lines of – “200 lbs and 5’5″ does not equal fairly fit. Please stop sending me cock shots. A job as drummer for a Winger cover band does not equally financially secure, particularly if you’re still living in your parent’s basement. I am very sure that the act of fucking you will not suddenly turn me monogamous. And seriously, enough with the cock shots.”

Sure enough, there was a follow-up post, which mentioned the record amount of feedback the original post generated. However,what really amazed me was that some guys thought the criteria she laid out was too strict. I’m slightly surprised that anyone would think that, as it’s a very reasonable list of requirements. I’m even more surprised that some guys would be self-critical enough to understand that they didn’t make the bar. After all doesn’t everyone think they’re smart, witty and great in bed? I mean I know I am, but a lot of other guys can be strangely delusional about stuff like that, poor chaps.

Sadly I live in Seattle, which looks close to Vancouver if you use an atlas and squint, but in reality is a few hours away via the joy of Interstate 5. On the plus side, this post does give me an excuse to feature a few pictures of Mistress T. The first two I picked for her very entertaining expressions. The last because she looks wonderful in it and it’s nice to feature something non-explicit or kinky now and again. You can see a lot more of her at her main site.

Oh, and the post title? Taken from this appropriate scene, in one of my favorite movies. Andie Macdowell is a tough woman to please.

Mistress T ruined orgasm shot
Mistress T forced-bi shot
Mistress T in blue jeans

An odd contraption

Here’s an interesting piece of dungeon furniture I’ve not seen before. It has a Victorian steampunk feel to it. All heavy metal, hinges and exposed engineering. I like both the look and the utility of it.

Mistress Aika
Mistress Aika
The owner of this odd but interesting contraption is the beautiful Mistress Aika, a pro-domme based out of London. You can see more of it and her on her preview page.

Celebrity Facesitting

The shot below feature Lenny Kravitz and Adriana Lima in a shoot for Vibe magazine. I assume it’s a pretty old image, given that the two of them dated back in early 2000. You can see other photographs from the shoot here.

I’d be interested to know how the shoot unfolded and who had the idea for this image. I suspect it wasn’t Lenny. In the other images there’s clearly a “I’m a cool rock star” thing going on. Only in this one, with his face hidden, does the dynamic change. I also find it odd that this image isn’t exactly the one featured in the published photoshoot. The original image is this one, which has her hair across her face and her hands in a different position. I guess this alternative version was rejected by an editor and then leaked by someone else.

I’m glad this version made it out into the world. I like to think she’s using her left hand to pinch his nose, and really get him to focus on the job at hand.

Adriana Lima and Lenny Kravitz facesitting shot

What’s black and white and red all over?

Just a quick post tonight. Work stuff is currently kicking my ass. Before I return to the very un-fun torture of Microsoft Word and Excel, let me leave you with something out of the traditional femdom folder. A nicely red bottom as a result of an energetically applied paddle. A glasses wearing domme is also a nice bonus as far as I’m concerned.

Mistress paddling slaves bottomI found this on the Lashkisser tumblr.

The delicate bits

Ask most guys what their ‘delicate bits’ are, and I think you’d get a pretty universal answer. The part of the body with the most nerves and greatest potential for pain is always seen as the cock and balls. Yet oddly, in my experience, the most intense sessions I’ve had typically featured other parts of the body. For me, getting a needle through a nipple hurts way more than one through the cock. And heavy corporal has pushed me closer to the edge than any CBT session I’ve had. There’s definitely a powerful psychological element to CBT that makes it a real head trip, but the simpler fatter muscly parts of the body seem easier to punish more severely.

Tonight I did a zippering session with Lydia that had me shaking with adrenalin and screaming in pain. The body part in question? The inside of the leg, particular the lower leg. She had clips everywhere – top of my feet, arms, cock, belly, nipples. You name it, there were some clothespins on a cord attached there. But the killer was the dozens she put along the inside of my legs. She left them on for a long time, long enough to let the blood flow to get constricted and the initial stinging pain to fade to a dull throb. Then she wound her fingers through my hair to hold me still, and ripped them away. I screamed like a housewife in a 50’s sitcom who has just spotted a mouse.

I don’t have a good zippering shot to hand, so instead here’s a shot featuring nice bondage and some inner thigh whipping. As a delicate place to hit, that inner leg is a real killer.

Thigh whipping

Context is king

I’ve often observed that the context for an image is very important. Put an image in a fashion magazine and I’ll think of it as a sales pitch for a brand or a designer. My instinct will be to look at the clothes and the model from an intellectual, not emotional, point of view. Advertisements are about selling things, so there’s an inherent degree of mistrust in the interaction. Put the same image in a femdom tumblr stream and it changes how I perceive it quite dramatically. I’ll start looking for and projecting D/s elements. I might spin little stories about the scene in my head. I may think of myself in the scene, or how I’d interact with the model. It’s exactly the same image I’d flip past in a copy of Vogue, but somehow somebody else labeling it as erotic and kinky gives me permission to do the same. It creates a far more emotional reaction.

The two shots below are examples of the kind of images I’m thinking about. I found them both on the Strangely Compelling tumblr. The first was a shot for Numero magazine by Greg Kadel. You can see more images from the shoot here. The second is from a sequence titled Orchidee Noir by the photographer Jose Herrera for Oxxo Magazine.

Fashion shot with femdom elements
Fashion shot with femdom elements

 

Glorious

In this case the post title is also the title the artist gave this photograph. I originally found it on the Real Dominant Women tumblr, but some internet sleuthing led me to the original copy taken by Allison Redner. It’s interesting to read the comments which generally describe it as a cute, beautiful and romantic shot. I certainly agree with that, but I’m surprised nobody commented on the pose and the dynamic. Some ‘mainstream’ shot can have a femdom vibe in the context of a femdom tumblr, but seem very normal and vanilla when seen in their original context. For me, this one still retains an element of that vibe even when viewing it in its original and non-kinky flickr home.

Glorious by Allison Redner

Crazy ninja skills

Here’s a shot captured at the perfect moment. What I particularly like is her look of concentration and the position of her hands. I feel like she has just pulled off the five point palm exploding penis technique. I’m not sure what crazy kinky mountain dwelling mistress would teach this, but I would love to see the training montage for it.

Ruined OrgasmI found this on the Submissive Me tumblr. From doing a reverse image search I believe the original source is LilusHandjobs site. Check it out if you want to buy the video version.

Submissive to aisle 3

Here’s a sweet little shot I came across on Reddit. The store’s produce section looks fairly poor, but their selection of submissives seems to be worth browsing.

I did a reverse image search on this, which I normally do for any image without attribution, and was amused to discover it had been widely used as an example of that ridiculous concept known as the ‘friend zone‘. I guess the implication is that she’s using his romantic feelings to get him to do humiliating things he’d never normally do, and he’s only doing them to get into her pants. This is obviously some strange new usages of the word friend I wasn’t previously aware of. I think it says more about the people making that association that the couple in the picture.

Kneeling man helping woman with her shoes

Any excuse for kink

I often enjoy getting annoyed at things I read. Which makes the internet pretty much the greatest invention ever. I’m never more than a few clicks away from something enjoyable.

50 Shades of Grey has been quite a blessing in that respect. It seems that no news or opinion site is complete without a regular article on the book and what it tells us about society (hint – nothing. The existence of Dan Brown had already proven that millions of people will buy badly written books). My ‘favorite’ article on the book so far is this one, which is so stupid you might actually getter dumber just by reading it. Apologies if you follow that link and then discover you can no longer complete a coherent thingy. You know. Lots of words all lined up.

The other common spin-off article, other than a review or social comment, is the “My hour/day/week as a dominatrix” confession. This typically gives the author a chance to titillate readers with some kinky fun, prove that she’s edgy and interesting, all while maintaining an air of superiority over the freaks. Here’s a pretty good canonical example of the genre.

These articles all follow a similar pattern. They start with “This’ll be fun! I get to boss men around. And I love dress-up!” Then they move into “Oh, there’s like all this equipment and stuff. This seems hard. Can’t I just look pretty and sneer at the clients?” After this comes the realization that not all men paying for a sexual experience look like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. Finally, it ends with a “Wow, it’s not like I’m judging or anything, but people who see pro-dommes are weird.” That may or may not be true, but coming from a person who appears to have made a career choice on the basis of wearing a sexy costume, it’s a little hard to take seriously.

I’ll leave you with a picture of someone who can definitely pull off a sexy costume, but also knows it takes a hell of a lot more to be a great domme. This is Domina Nyx, a NYC based pro-domme. This shot was featured on her blog.

Domina Nyx