Fm – Page 148 – Femdom Resource

Clamping the tender parts

A quick post tonight, as it’s a busy holiday weekend for me. This image caught my eye for it’s sense of tenderness and togetherness. I always like play that blends a little cruelty with a little tender affection. The only thing better is play that blends a lot of cruelty with just that bit of tenderness.

I found this originally on the Work Is Never Over tumblr, but I believe it’s from a movie called Whipsmart from Good Vibrations starring Mistress Morgana. She’s undoubtedly a fan of nipple clamps, as she makes clear on her entertaining biography page.

Invisible touch

Yesterday’s post triggered several interesting comments and prompted some further thoughts on the perception of a scene. One particular comment was by Mark on the touching hands in the image I featured.

Notice her hand gently resting on his. For me, an incredibly powerful element of the scene.

I wonder if that gentle, reassuring touch would mitigate, somewhat, the ramp up in intensity that you described when under the blindfold.

I had noticed (and enjoyed) that aspect of the image, but the post was getting so long I decided not to comment further on it. Mark’s observant comment got me thinking about touch, and what a great example of shifting perceptions it can be.

Simple caresses can play a huge part in a scene. Not everything has to be about extremes of pain or pleasure. Fingers skating across the skin, tracing the lines of muscle or caressing a limb. Each little contact plays a part in building the dynamic. When I can see them, touches to me are predominantly sensual. They’re about the pleasure in the contact of another body. They might be soothing after an intense pain, or promising of what’s to come, but the underlying message is a hedonistic one.

Yet take my sight away and a touch becomes quite different. Partially they’re reassuring. Little grounding moments that tell me I’m OK, she’s right here with me. Like an animal being petted, I relax into her hand. But this reassurance is a double edged sword. It can be taken away. Giving it subtly emphasizes its importance to me. So there’s now an element of fear. What if she takes it away? What if I need that emotional contact? Losing a sensual touch is disappointing, but losing a reassuring one can be scary. It moves the balance from pleasure to control, a shift of perception unrelated to the physical contact itself.

I’ll leave you with an image of what appears to be some very pleasurable touching, with a nice undercurrent of control. It was shot by Michele Block-Stuckens and is called Toy Boy.

See no evil

One thing that getting involved in BDSM has taught me is how simple things can drastically alter my perception of reality. People are constantly building a model of the world in their mind. They combine the signals from their senses to create a personal version of reality. I think most people see this as a very robust and simple additive process. Faulty or missing signals should not change what reality is. I suspect we have to implicitly believe this or we’d go crazy. But in fact adding or removing a signal doesn’t simply enhance or reduce our internal model of the world. It mutates it in far more complex ways.

I experienced a reminder of this tonight, while playing with Lydia. She had me transfixed in a web of ropes, electrics attached to various points, and was scratching and piercing me with a collection of needles. As far as activities go this was pretty intense, but nothing too unusual for us. Then she introduced a blindfold. In theory this shouldn’t have changed too much of my mental model. The only thing I could see was her ceiling or her face. It wasn’t like I needed to be reminded what either of them looked like to understand what was happening. Yet it radically changed how I felt.

With the blindfold on I pulled away from the pain. I feared it. The sensation was sharper, more intense. My anxiety levels rose. I said ‘no’ occasionally, something which does nothing to slow Lydia down, but is unusual for me. My sense of the surrounding world shrank. I lost track of time.

When she removed the blindfold, everything changed. I moved towards the pain, wanted it. The actual sensation of it changed. My breathing slowed and I felt calmer. I fixated on her, and felt a powerful wash of emotion towards her. My vocalization changed from screams to moans. I found I could more easily focus without being distracted by the electric shocks. The engineer in me wants to say this makes no sense. The signal from my eyes was telling me nothing I didn’t already know. In terms of information theory, the entropy of the signal was zero. Yet, it clearly did radically change my experience and perception of what was happening.

I’ll leave you with an image of a man experiencing his own version of a modified reality, courtesy of Divine Bitches.

Site Updates

I’ve made a variety of additions to a number of pages.

To the blogroll on the right and the blog page I’ve added links to Veronica Volt (an LA based pro-domme) and to The Pervocracy (featured in yesterday’s post). I was also happy to move he stoops to worship out of the dead blogs section, after slave domnei left a comment indicating it had returned to life.

To the equipment page I’ve added links to Jack’s Floggers, Wild Gasmasks and Slaughter House Couture.

To the femdom fiction page I’ve added a link to Miss Irene Clearmont, who has a selection of well written femdom stories freely available.

Finally, on the femdom image page I’ve cleaned up a few dead links and added the following tumblr’s…

I’ll leave you with a shot I found on one of those added tumblrs, specifically Blue Keys.

Top shelf material

I’m on record as not being a big fan of public humiliation. That’s partly because I don’t like dragging other people into scenes without their consent and partly because I don’t particularly kink on humiliation. However, what I treat as humiliating or not probably differs fairly widely from a lot of non-submissive guys. For example, I think the shot below is kind of cute and fun. It’s teamwork in action, and he’s actually being useful. How else was she going to reach that bottle? It’s a bit like carrying a woman’s handbag or fixing her shoes. Humiliation to me means denigration of the submissive, where this is about being practical and helpful. Although I suspect I’d have a hard time explaining that logic to any friends finding me in this position in my local grocery store.

I found this shot on the Stealth Domme tumblr.

Incidentally, the post title here is a British expression typically taken to mean pornography. Adult magazines are put on top shelves in newsagents to stop kids looking at them. So it was originally intended as a play on words, describing both the picture and what’s happening in it. But then it struck me the US has another meaning, where top shelf refers to something of quality. I think it comes from liquor bottles in bars, where the best stuff is put on the top shelves. I assume that’s both an efficiency thing (not needed as often as cheaper booze) and a cost thing (less chance of it being knocked over). So it’s actually a triple meaning title, also describing how I feel about the image. This ends your random aside for the day.

More smiles

After yesterday’s post featuring a smiling sadist, I thought this would be a good image to follow it up with. According to the ever infallible Wikipedia, licking a face is a form of greeting for dogs. So I guess this is just her puppy’s way of saying hello. Given the width of those smiles, they’re certainly having fun with it.

I’m afraid I don’t have any context for the image. I found it on the Submissive Geek tumblr.

That smile

Those of you who read this blog regularly will know that I session a lot with Lady Lydia McLane. She’s an astonishing domme and I’m incredibly happy that I found her. However, she does give me a few disconcerting moments. In the past she’s modeled for a whole range of sites, which means there’s all sorts of video and images out there featuring her. Given how great she looks, this isn’t too surprising, but it is odd to be browsing porn and to keep coming across someone you know fairly well. It’s a weird dichotomy, but while I find her incredibly sexy in person, and I enjoy all sorts of pornography, somehow combining the two is like a missed gear shift. There’s a nasty crunch, a sudden lurch, and everything is slightly unbalanced. It’s not that I dislike the fantasy. Or that I’m disappointed with the reality. It’s just that combining the two creates a weird mental collision.

The latest occurrence of this effect was this tumblr post, which led me in turn to this video. I can’t say I’m a fan of the body stocking (which I suspect was suggested by the porn site). And while I like boots, these are a little too cliched for my taste. So ignore the domme strut, but do check out her smile, both in the image below and in the video. She’s just such a happy sadist. Nothing sends me more than a smile that leads to a scream. It’s just one of those perfect combinations like champagne & oysters, Groucho & Chico or Lennon & McCartney.

Size does matter!

Slogans on t-shirts tend to have only a very loose relationship with reality. I have a soft spot for my George Carlin one – “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups” – but in general they’re not a reliable source of information. In terms of credibility they rank somewhere between bumper stickers and Fox news. Although not necessarily in that order.

However, judging by the pictures below, it appears that Mistress Lana is someone who believes in living up to her clothing’s slogans. That’s a large cigar and an even larger strap-on. The featured gentleman looks a little perturbed. I hope for his sake the slogan on the back of the shirt is something like this.

Mistress Lana is a Moscow based pro-domme. If you find yourself in that part of the world, her session information is available here.

A touch of blusher

Miss Margo added a comment on yesterday’s post that mentioned a Sissy Maid High Tea that she attended at a BDSM festival. Much to her surprise, she had a blast.

They were so attentive, and trying so hard to impress, and they had put so much effort into their grooming and roles…it was really very touching.

That comment made me think of the image below, which I stumbled across on tumblr a few days ago. I thought it was very sweet, which isn’t an adjective I typically find myself using about cross-dressing D/s shots.

I also got to thinking a little more about the idea of male submissives playing with gender roles. In yesterday’s post I suggested it was a popular theme in femdom, which I still think is true. But that that doesn’t necessarily mean the two things are causally connected. It could just be that men who are open to exploring emotionally and culturally fraught areas like male submission are also more open to exploring other sexually complex areas. After all, if you’ve just spent the weekend role-playing ‘Sir Reginald Thistleswaite meets the Amazonian Queen and is tortured by much Snu Snu’, then raiding your wife’s lingerie draw probably seems like a pretty minor deviation. A guy who spent the same weekend drinking beer and watching football with his buddies might not feel quite as open to it, no matter how secretly curious he might be.

Weirdly sexy

This is undoubtedly a sexy image. Gorgeous woman. Well proportioned guy with a cute bow-tie. Nice D/s vibe from the positions. Yet oddly, I find the fact her lingerie is mismatch the sexist element of all. I have no idea why, other than the fact I’m weird.

I found this on the Work is Never Over tumblr (whose author also commented on the mismatch). It’s taken from a fashion shoot and the photographer is Antonio Andrade.