Fm – Page 136 – Femdom Resource

Silence is golden

I am by no means a stoic and quiet masochist. I make noise. Lots of noise. Screams. Moans. Grunts. Growls. I like to claim it’s a sign of good communication from the bottom. I’m letting the top know where I’m at. That’s true, but realistically it’s also about me dealing with pain and letting myself simply go with the sensation. It’s energizing to not think and simply react.

I’ve never had a domme try to make me stay quiet, although a few have shoved a gag in when necessary. I therefore think the young lady in the drawing below is being particularly cruel. She’s positioned him teasingly across her legs, spanked him and shoved a vibrator into him. And now he has to stay quiet while she reads her book? That’s harsh. Particularly if she’s adding the odd spank or two between pages.

I found this on the Geek Domme tumblr. I think it’s fan art of two characters from a web comic called homestuck, but I’m not entirely sure.

Ring toss

This looks like a fun game. I hope that there’s some sort of penalty associated with each thrown ring that fails to find its target. These kind of things are always better when they operate under a ‘she wins or he loses’ set of rules.

I’m afraid I don’t know the original source for the image. I found it on the Lashkisser tumblr.

Any publicity is good publicity?

The kink company has been in the news recently. They’re a very high profile producer of BDSM porn, so anything that happens to them tends to reflect on the wider community.

On the plus side there’s a James Franco documentary coming out about the company that apparently paints them and BDSM in a very positive light. It’s getting some good mainstream coverage, although the Hollywood Reporter writer appears to be unable to review it on its merits without lapsing into offensive speculation about who might watch such material. I haven’t noticed similar speculation being attached to reviews of thrillers or horror movies where people are shot, knifed and strangled for the enjoyment of the audience.

On the negative side there has been a lot of coverage of founder Peter Acworth’s recent arrest for possession of cocaine. The drugs issue isn’t one that bothers me, but some of the follow-up stories have presented a more complex and troubling picture of the company. The SF Weekly had a lengthy article on the company that was less than positive, and Maggie Mayhem put up a long post that detailed some significant issues she has with the kink workplace culture.

I’ve zero personal experience of the company, so I can only provide links to others with better information. I think it’s undoubtedly true that the company has improved the overall quality of BDSM porn. However, I think as an ethical porn consumer it’s always important to know more about exactly who is producing the images and videos we’re watching.

This image is from the kink site Divine Bitches. I found it on the Girls Rule, Subs Drool tumblr.

A game for two or more

It’s hard to overemphasize the importance of not leaving a bound person unattended. Should you ever be tempted to do so, I’d suggest you keep in mind the story of the Montreal guy who popped out for groceries while his submissive was tied up by her collar. While he was figuring out what to have for dinner, she died of asphyxiation. He tried to claim it was an accident but, quite rightly in my view, was found guilty of criminal negligence.

While I’m all for maximizing safety, I found part of the first linked article a little surprising.

…put safety first, which means buying the right equipment that has release devices allowing subs to free themselves from bondage and similar confinement situations. In other words, subs must always be able to effortlessly free themselves because, for example, a domme/dom could be standing two feet away and suffer a heart attack or something.

I’ve been on the receiving end of a lot of bondage and I can’t think of anytime I’ve been in quick release devices. I get the need when you’re playing with someone you’re not too familiar with, but for normal play in an established relationship? Being able to effortless free myself would seem to miss the point somewhat.

It’s true that a heart attack for the domme would present a problem for me. But so would a heart attack for the guy doing 70 mph on the freeway behind me tomorrow morning. Or come to that, a heart attack all of my own. Or getting randomly shot in a bar. Or deliberately shot in a bar for that matter. Not every American takes kindly to my drunken theories on the innate superiority of British music and comedy. Life is full of risks.

Only using quick release cuffs would also seem to rule out rope bondage. That would be a great shame as it can be very beautiful.

Both of these images are from the bondage is not a crime tumblr. You can see a couple of other shots from the same sequences here and here.

The mainstream adoption of BDSM images

The New York Times featured an article on BDSM today. It wasn’t anything too surprising. Just the obligatory mention of 50 Shades of Grey and commentary on how BDSM is moving more into the mainstream. It’s nice to see a positive non-judgmental article in a major newspaper, but that’s nothing too unusual these days. What did surprise me was the photograph they featured with it (viewable here).

The 50 shades phenomenon has triggered a lot of BDSM articles and most of them either feature stock images of equipment (handcuffs, gag, etc.) or a cliched dominatrix trope (leather boots, a coiled whip on a hip, etc). The dominatrix photograph doesn’t make much sense given that 50 shades was a maledom story, but using an attractive women in a sexy outfit to sell a story isn’t exactly unusual. What surprised me about the NY Times images was that it actually featured a femdom image with both a man and a woman in it. That’s rare in my experience. Most mainstream articles are happy to describe BDSM play but rarely feature an image of it.

This isn’t to say D/s pairs can’t be seen in mainstream media. Fashion photographers seem to love that dynamic. I regularly stumble across arty fashion shots that have models portraying ideas of dominance and power. So it would seem mainstream publications are happy to use D/s pairings to sell entirely unrelated products, but are reluctant to use them in factual stories about real D/s. That must make sense to someone, but that someone isn’t me.

This image is from a fashion shoot called ‘The Night Porter’ by the photographer Harvey Miedreich for The Libertine. I found it on the Undiscovered Limits (aka Untamed Dark Mane) tumblr.

Sex addicts anonymous

I’ve never been particularly convinced by the idea of sex addiction and this article by Dr Marty Klein does a good job of knocking the concept down. What I found particularly fascinating was the link he provided to a sexual addiction test. In just a few minutes you can allegedly find out if you’re a sex addict.

I took the test, answered honestly, and discovered that I was in fact a sex addict. Surprised by that result I took it again, answered equally honestly, and discovered that I was not a sex addict. This seemed to suggest the survey methodology might be a touch flawed. The problem is the ambiguity of the questions. Two different but valid interpretations can give two different but valid answers. For example…

Are any of your activities against the law?
Well it depends what US state I’m in, but if I’m doing it right, yes.
Have you ever felt degraded by your sexual behaviors?
Personally I think it’s hot when a domme pees in my mouth, but it’s a good sort of degradation. Does that count?
Do you hide some of your sexual behaviors from others?
I have to be honest. I haven’t told 100% of my friends about my love of electrified butt plugs.
Do you spend a considerable time surfing pornography online?
Well this blog isn’t going to write itself. But it’s purely for research purposes. Honest.
etc. etc.

Oddly one of the questions asks if you regularly engage in sadomasochistic behavior. So presumably that’s some sort of indicator. Maybe my first survey result was right after all. And judging by his expression, the gentleman below might be in danger of developing my addiction as well. That young lady is clearly a dangerous sex dealer.

This image is originally from Strapon Dreamer. I found it via the Your Vengeful Goddess tumblr.

Communicating with smile and a stare

I got to enjoy some electrical play with Lydia tonight, so I’m in a particularly happy frame of mind. We didn’t snap any photographs to share but, given the nature of the play, the shot below caught my eye as a suitable one to commemorate it with.

There’s not a lot to see from an equipment perspective, but their exchange of looks really makes the image a memorable one. His is one that I’m sure most submissives will recognize. It’s the look of “I know you’re going to twist that knob, and at some level I kind of want you to do it, but I’m still going to try my forlorn puppy dog look in the hope you’ll only turn it to 9 rather than 10.” Her look suggests amusement but also inevitability. It’s the “I love it when you make those faces, but you really should know by now it’s not going to help.”

I found this on the BDSM++ tumblr (which has some fairly extreme pictures, so browse with caution).

Biting his lip

Biting your own lip is normally a sign of being nervous or pensive. But what does it mean when somebody else bites them for you? In this case, she doesn’t look all that nervous, although he probably should be. Those clips look like they’ll sting when they get yanked off.

This is from Divine Bitches and I believe that’s Maitresse Madeline with her hands wrapped around his head.

The joy of a red bottom

I’m spending a couple of days down in Portland to celebrate a friend’s birthday. Updates may therefore be slightly more erratic than usual. I normally manage to combine kink+food+drink into my trips, but in this case I’ll be missing the first and most enjoyable part.

In the meantime, here’s two more images on the corporal theme. I’m normally not a fan of shots featuring the domme staring into the camera. I prefer them to be engaged with their submissive. However, the “Hey! Look What I did” genre is a happy exception. It’s always a pleasure to see a dominant take pride in her work.

I found both of these images on the Some Husbands Need Disciple tumblr.

Approaching at speed

Looking through old Leda images while preparing yesterday’s post put me in a bit of a corporal mood. So expect a few more images on that theme over the coming days.

Today’s shot features Cassie Canes approaching her target zone at speed. Personally I find a cane can hurt like hell when delivered with just a rapid flick of the arm. Heaven knows how much more it stings when the disciplinarian arrives at a gallop.

Before a fast bowler in the game of cricket delivers his first ball he will carefully pace off his run-up. The idea is to ensure his foot lands perfectly on the line (called the crease) as he releases the ball. I wonder if Miss Canes did the same thing? That’d certainly be a more ominous sight than the usual practice swishes.

I found this image on the Femdom Marriage tumblr. Obvious it’s originally from the Cassie Canes site.