Gift Wrapped Toy

There is a school of thought that it’s impossible to be on the receiving end of penetration and remain dominant. This teachers of this school are very stupid. No single activity is inherently dominant or submissive. What matters is the context and the dynamic between the participants.

I actually had a dominant express this thought to me last year, and to my everlasting shame I didn’t challenge her on it. I should have said that she absolutely had the right to draw her personal boundaries wherever she felt comfortable, and define activities however she thought was appropriate, but there was no single global rule about what penetration meant. Unfortunately at the time I was horny, naked and starved of kinky play. So I think my answer was along the lines of “Errrm…. Yeah. I guess. Sure. So when can we start with the beating?” Not exactly my finest hour. I did get the beating, so that was at least a plus, but I felt bad about it afterwards.

I believe this is fan art inspired by a series known as Tower of God.

Suspended Target

A few posts back I was musing on scenes where the level of pain is radically different from the visual the scene presents. This is the exact opposite of that. The scene looks awesome. I love the suspended bondage, the minimalism of the space and the dynamism of the whip. Yet I’m sure it also hurts like hell. The bondage alone looks challenging. Adding the sting of a single tail against taut flesh is particularly cruel.

This is from twitter feed of Mistress Iris. However, I believe that’s Mistress Rika on the other end of the whip.

Teasing with the Tongue

For anyone cringing after yesterday’s cock piercing close-up, here’s a little sexy eye bleach for you.

I like her unconventional outfit and his tight rope bondage. What makes me smile is the tattoo on his torso. Maybe it’s some famous figure from history that I don’t recognize, but to me it just looks like someone going “Oh, Jesus. Not this shit again…”

The Challenge of the New

Writing yesterday’s post on the new experiences I enjoyed with Mistress Cynthia got me thinking about the dynamics of doing new activities. More specifically, doing an old activity for the first time with a new play partner. There are a few different ways to approach this, and one of them niggles me every time it happens. I’m not sure it rises to the level of a pet peeve, but it’s something that I think is worth raising awareness of.

Some dominants don’t care what I’ve done in the past. They just pull out the toys they have in mind to use and get on with doing their thing. Others ask in order to gather information they can use. If it’s a new activity then maybe they’ll build intensity more slowly or check in more often. I’m perfectly happy with either approach. What I find odd is when a domme will be visibly disappointed if they discover the activity they’ve decided on isn’t a new one for me. Sometimes they’ll almost seem to be verging on frustration that they can’t ‘surprise’ me with a particular toy or new experience. I’ve had session where, after this kind of exchanged had repeated 3 or 4 times, I almost wanted to start lying and claiming ignorance, just so we could get out of that repeated negative interaction.

I’ve tried out a lot of different kinky activities over the last few years. That’s not down to any skill or achievement on my part. I’m just lucky to have had the time and opportunity to do a lot of different session with experienced dommes in well equipped spaces. So it’s pretty rare to find a fairly general activity that’s both inside my limits that I haven’t tried at some point. Yet, in all that time, I’ve never once thought to myself “Oh, we’re doing this shit again. Let’s get through this as fast as possible so we can get to something different.” I’ve had sessions ranging from just OK to awesome, and that difference has never been made by the uniqueness or novelty of the activity. The quality of the experience is always about the dynamic between myself and the domme and our interaction in the moment. The way every scene unfolds is unique, even if some of the building blocks repeat. Or to put it in cruder terms, I’ve jerked off a fair amount over the last decade or three, and I’ve never got bored with that activity, so let’s assume that novelty isn’t the deciding factor in how fun something is.

For any dommes out there, I’d suggest always treating past experience with an activity as a positive. It means the submissive will probably be able to give good feedback during it and will have greater capacity for handling it.

Given the post subject matter I thought it’d be worth trying to pick an image of an activity I’ve not really tried. So here we go – cross dressing. There was a domme 6 or 7 years ago who put me in stockings a few times, but apart from that I’ve been lingerie free. I’m not sure of the source of this vintage picture, but that young guy is carrying that outfit off pretty well.

LA fun continued

My LA kinky extravaganza continued today with a second session with Isabella Sinclaire. More cock, ball and nipple torture was on the menu, along with some electrical and breath play. It’s always fun to play with two dommes in close succession, because they always spot the marks the other one left and take them as a challenge. My skin ends up as less a useful wrapping for body parts and more a scoreboard for who gets to make their mark in the most emphatic fashion.

On an unrelated note, allow me to point your attention to this fundraiser for NYC domme Mistress Adrienne.  She’s battling cancer and is currently undergoing a second round of chemo for it. I’ve never personally interacted with Mistress Adrienne (although I did feature her photograph once), but given the names of the people who have been contributing to her fundraiser and tweeting about it, she’s obviously a very highly regarded and much loved member of the community. I chipped in a small contribution yesterday. I’m sure she’d appreciate any others that people can spare.

This is Mistress Adrienne with her slave at Dragcon 2017. I found it via her instagram feed.

Fun in the Sun

Talking of stars of LA – as I just was – I got to play with a star of the kink world today, in the form of Isabella Sinclaire. Must fun was had, with flogging, piercing, smothering and electrical play all featuring heavily. I was shaking with an adrenaline rush by the end, which is always a good sign.

I was amused to get a number of comments about my manscaping or, more accurately, my lack of manscaping. No dommes in other cities ever comment about my pubic hair. In LA, almost everyone I play with consistently does. So top tip for anyone planning to visit and get kinky with the locals – make sure you’re neat and trimmed before you arrive. Nobody likes a 70’s style bush in SoCal.

This is Isabella Sinclaire, taken from her personal site.

Hanging with the stars

My Facebook feed is full of annoying people extolling the wonders of fall (autumn) in Seattle. They love the changing leaves, the misty mornings, the Thanksgiving holiday and the start of ski season. Call me Mr Grumpy, but I think they’re nuts. It’s damp, cold and the stupid slippery leaves make every hilly side street a twisted ankle waiting to happen.

There was only one thing for a chilly paltego to do – head south to somewhere warmer. Preferably a location that combines the sun with good food and much potential for kinky fun. Somewhere like Los Angeles. So that’s where I am for the rest of the week. I might have slightly overdone my scheduling of play sessions, so we’ll see if I can survive to the weekend. If I don’t make it, there are definitely worse ways to go out.

While I’m here I’ll keep an eye out for celebs. Although probably the only way I’ll know there’s one around is by other people pointing them out. These two would be the rare exception to that – Victoria and David Beckham.

This was shot by the photographer Steve Klein.