Plotting

This’d be a great image for a caption competition. It’s obviously a porn shot from the strap-on hell site, but what makes the image work isn’t the big fleshy fake dick, but the look being exchanged by the dommes. They seem to have a cunning plan in mind. If he’s lucky, it doesn’t involve the man at all. If it does, then God help him. I can’t think it’ll play out to his advantage.

Good Job Tumblr

The final banishment of adult content from Tumblr was an entirely predictable shit show. Huge swathes of carefully curated content vanished, including pretty much every link on my image page.  It was pretty depressing looking around it in the last few days, with a lot of people saying goodbye to their followers and goodbye to all the time they’d invested in the platform.

People who actually tried to follow the rules and clean up their site found that it was impossible to flip it back to a non-explicit status, rendering their site worthless. Meanwhile I found endless examples of very explicit images still being shown, often right next to images that were blocked. Either the blocked ones were so graphic they’d have made my eyes bleed or, more likely, tumblrs filtering algorithms are useless. So they destroyed a lot of online communities, pissed content creators off, lost a huge chunk of their users and still ended up showing people porn. All in all, a great week of work for them.

Luckily their incompetence does have a minor benefit. As I posted on twitter,  you can actually still use TumblThree to rip any tumblr back to your local hard drive. This includes tumblr’s that send you to the block screen or that have explicit images covered up. All the content is still there, and you can typically pull a tumblr with a few thousand images in just a few minutes. I’m sure they’ll close this hole pretty soon, but right now it’s still a good option for archiving any favorite sites you had.

In the meantime a lot of people  seem to be heading to bdsmlr as the tumblr clone of choice for kinky people. I get the logic of their name, but it doesn’t exactly trip off the tongue. I’ll post some follow-up thoughts on that site tomorrow. In the meantime he’s an image from a tumblr that I definitely archived for my personal future ‘reference’ purposes – Alternative Femdom.

I believe this was originally shot by Alvaro Hernandez

Technical Issues

Apologies if you had any trouble trying to reach the site in recent days. I’ve been dealing with some technical issues. I’m still not sure they’re entirely resolved, but hopefully it should at least remain reachable for anyone reading.

I always wonder what the the technical support people from my hosting company make of this site. From the names of those involved, the first line support staff appear to mostly be women based in India. It must be a tough job to suddenly be dropped into a chat function with a strange guy called paltego who is wondering where his site full of dominant ladies, tied up men and sexually explicit imagery has vanished to.

Speaking of which, here’s a fun photograph of a tied man and a couple of happy looking dommes.

I’m afraid I’ve no idea where this is from. The text is Spanish for ‘Tied Love’ (according to the online translators), but I haven’t tracked down a site or photography studio. As always feel free to comment if you can help me attribute it.

Floating and Floaty

I couldn’t finish a trio of posts on bondage and its related equipment without featuring two renowned experts of both the tools and the art – Elise Graves and Troy Orleans. These two shots feature some beautiful leather bondage and a very cool suspended table. I also like the very simple clean space that they’re playing in. For me it always feels a lot more intense and serious to play in a ‘normal’ looking studio space than it does to play in all black dungeon with chains and whips hanging off the walls.

I know from experience that heavy bondage can create a floaty headspace. In this case it also looks like he’s floating in space.

I found this via a tweet on Elise Graves’ twitter feed. It’s obviously from her Bondage Liberation site, which contains all sorts of interesting intense bondage shots.

Doctors Orders

Today was a good day. The kind where God pats you on the head and says”Good boy, have a reward.” The kind of day that makes you feel slightly guilty for enjoying yourself when there’s so much shitty stuff happening in the world.

I got to enjoy some awesome modern Korean food for dinner (here) and got to be tortured, teased and objectified as a medical test subject by Mistress Tess. At this point I’m not sure if I’m all human or part lab rat. I do have a craving for cheese, but that’s pretty much normal. Being tightly trussed up in leather, fed strange yellow liquids and having various body parts painfully clamped may seem like kinky fun. However,  I was assured by the very stern yet attractive lady Doctor that (a) my opinions weren’t relevant and (b) it was valid medical research. I guess I should contact my insurance company and see if they cover this kind of treatment? Or should they even by paying me for the research underway here?

I believe based (based on this collection at Femdom Artists) that this work is by an artist working under the handle Adams.

Penis in Peril

Yesterday’s post, featuring a penis in grave peril, reminded me of a story I heard from a domme many years ago. Like the previous video clip, it’s another one guaranteed to make most men wince. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

The domme in question was doing a ballbusting scene in heavy boots with a regular who liked to be kicked particularly hard. One kick, deep into the session, caught him awkwardly and actually split the skin at the base of his erect penis. Then, to use her words, ‘the skin sort of rolled up’. She was obviously concerned, given that blood was going everywhere. Unfortunately, the guy also had a serious castration fantasy. So rather than freaking out, he was turned on even more, which isn’t a happy state of affairs when your erection has sprung a leak. Things were messy. Eventually she persuaded him that continuing was probably a bad plan, and got him to head to ER to get patched up. I’d imagine that his sex life for the following weeks was rather limited, assuming he didn’t want to pop a stitch.

I’m not sure there’s any moral to this story, other than that horniness typically has an inverse correlation with good decision making. But I think we all knew that already.

This lady seems to have a pretty good kicking action going. It’s just a shame the guy was so keen to get into the kicking fun that he didn’t have time to take his socks off. Although if they have to rush to ER, that’ll save him some time getting dressed. This is obviously from the Female Dom site.

Two Emails

I had a couple of different emails recently. One was sadly all too common, the other sadly all too rare.

The first was someone asking me to set them up with the Goddess of their dreams. Apparently they thought I had hot and cold running Goddesses on tap and I’d be willing to divert a few of them to a random internet person on the basis of a one line email. As emails go, it’s about as effective as emailing Bill Gates with the line ‘Give me the job of my dreams!” and then signing it with a smiley face. On second thoughts, it’s actually less effective than that because, unlike me and the Goddesses, Bill at least has the theoretical ability to actually deliver.

The second email was someone thanking me for running this site and saying that reading it had played a part in them reaching out to a domme to set up their first ever play session. That gave me the warm fuzzies. Even better was the fact that they’d had a great time and they were planning to play more in the future. If there’s one single thing I’d want this site to achieve, it’d be to encourage people to get physically involved in kink. It doesn’t matter if it’s going to a munch, visiting a pro-domme or  exploring something new with a partner. Just venture out there and try it. The only lasting regret I’ve ever had about my kinky experiences is not starting them years earlier. If I can encourage others to avoid that same mistake, I’ll be a happy bunny. Just don’t expect this particular bunny to fix you up with a Goddess. That parts on you.

As for which email is the common one and which the rare one, I’ll leave that for you to guess. Absolutely no prizes for guessing right.

Here’s an example of the kind of kinky fun that’s out there to be explored. I believe this is Lady Hinako and Mistress Kawa with human thing from this tweet. Even better than one happy domme, is two happy dommes.

More Opting In or Out

I’m continuing my thoughts from yesterday’s post – Opt In or Opt Out. If you haven’t read that already, then I’d start there, otherwise this won’t make much sense.

When it comes to scene negotiation, I think there’s a fundamental tension that’s challenging to resolve. On one hand everyone wants scope for creativity and spontaneity. Working out a strict plan of action beforehand or stopping every 5 minutes to discuss the next activity is no fun. On the other hand, people can have very different views on what activities need discussion and what don’t. It’s not so much a question of failing to negotiate, but failing to spot the need to negotiate. If I think hoods are an opt in item then I will not mention them, as I don’t think I need to explicitly bar them. If the domme thinks they’re an opt out item, then me saying nothing leaves them on the table as a viable option to stick over my head mid-scene.

I don’t have any great suggestions to resolving this tension, other than trial and error and playing with the same people repeatedly. A few things I try to do from the submissive perspective are assume that…

  • Any common themes in femdom and BDSM are things I have to explicitly opt out of. For example, I’m always explicit about ruling out humiliation scenes as that’s not my kink but it’s a common one.
  • My opt in’s are sticky. If I opted in to something in a past session, the domme is probably going to assume I’m still in for it, even if we haven’t discussed it. So if I’m feeling differently about it, then it’s down to me to bring it up and opt out.
  • Opting in for X may well be treated as also opting in for things closely related to X. For example, there are a lot of different types of impact play, yet they rarely get negotiated separately. If that’s a problem for me, then I need to be explicit about how narrow I want my opt in to be.
  • A domme isn’t going to remember my particular opt outs between sessions. So if I discover during the course of play we’re on different pages on what needs discussion and what doesn’t, then it’s down to me to bring that up again next time as necessary.

I’ll leave you with a vintage image of an activity that is opt in for most dommes I know. However, there was one domme who, mid-scene and totally out of the blue, tossed me a pair of fishnet stockings, a garter belt and a pair of frilly panties to put on. It turned out to be fun, but I was certainly a bit surprised at the time. I think she was equally surprised by just how long it took me to figure out how to get them all on properly.

This show is from mrunderheel’s twitter feed.

Kitchen Toy

The kink part of my East Coast tour has sadly come to an end. What’s left is just the part I actually came all the way out here for – doing touristy stuff with family in Washington D.C. I basically used 4 days of family time as an excuse for 10 prior days of debauchery and perverted sexual practices. So … yay me?

While I’ve eaten out at some fantastic restaurants during the trip (Smyth in Chicago and Momofuku Ko in NYC would be the two stand-outs), what I’m really missing right now is my own kitchen and my own food. There’s something very satisfying and fulfilling about prepping and cooking a meal from your own cookbooks and with your own equipment.

Unlike this gentleman, I can’t say I’ve ever taken to naked cookery. Hot liquid droplets and splatters would seem to be an issue. Not to mention the problem of genitals in the proximity of work surfaces. On the other hand, if that’s what it takes to get Mistress Iris and Mistress Eva near my kitchen, it’s certainly a risk I’m prepared to take. I’d happily play prep cook, line cook, busboy and waiter for them.

Image is from this tweet and credited to dk_photo_88. While I’ve sadly not (yet) met Mistress Eva, I can personally attest that Mistress Iris is a fabulous domme to play with.

Bondage Fun in NYC

My East Coast vacation has moved onto New York, and today I was lucky enough to spend some time with Troy Orleans. Much bondage fun was on the menu, featuring chains, open mouth gags, leather straps and plastic wrap mummification. There were also some needles and electricity mixed in there for good measure.

Bondage for me is often the starting point of a session, not the ultimate goal. It’s the thing you have to do before starting the actual kinky activity you’re targeting. But when you’ve got someone with the mad skills of Troy Orleans, not to mention her amazing studio space, it’s nice to turn it around and make bondage itself the focus. It can lead to quite unique headspaces that are somehow stressful and relaxing all at the same time.

This image is Troy in her space, but not with me. This is from her Instagram feed (shot in March) and the domme at the back is Elise Graves. Those metal wires can actually be used to suspend the submissive in space, with that lower bench pulled entirely clear.