Bigly

Everyone knows of Rule 34.  No matter what you can think of, somebody, somewhere, has made porn of it. I’d like to propose a Rule 35. No matter what you can think of, somebody, somewhere, has tried to shove it up their ass.

The latest example of anal play gone spectacularly wrong comes from Italy, where a man (and it’s always a man) managed to lose a 23 inch toy in his colon. Getting it out proved to be quite a medical challenge, and involved a combination of medical wire and catheters.

I guess it’ll at least give him a good anecdote to use the next time he’s with his buddies and trading war stories of accidents and injuries. I can just picture the scene – “You think that’s bad? Did I ever tell you about the time the doctors had to invent an entirely new tool to go fishing in my asshole? It all started one night with a 2 foot sex toy and a industrial sized tub of lube…”

This is not (as far as I know) the sex toy in question. However, I do imagine that Miss Marilyn’s expression resembles the look on the doctors faces when they finally extracted the toy in question. You can see more of Miss Marilyn at her clips store. My thanks to Jim for the original link to the story.

Jacqueline Pearce

If you ask kinky people who grew up before the age of the internet, they’ll often have a character or actor from a mainstream show or film that first pushed their kinky buttons. Common examples that come up are Julie Newmar as catwoman, Diana Rigg as Emma Peel and Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp.

British sci-fiction fans might have another name to add to that list – Jacqueline Pearce as Supreme Commander Servalan. She was a character on the TV show Blake 7 and, to borrow from the Wikipedia description, she was ‘a cold, calculating, ruthless sociopath who is not above using her sex appeal and charm to get what she wants’. Just the kind of qualities that’ll make a male submissive sit up and pay attention.

Sadly, Jacqueline Pearce passed away over the weekend . As Toby Hadoke describes, she made the character ‘such a memorable villain – ruthless, sensual, damaged.’ You can see some clips of her in action here and here. According to the BBC, she originally trained with John Hurt and Anthony Hopkins, retired from acting to care for orphan monkeys in Africa and liked a glass of champagne. So lets raise a glass to a life well lived and a classic character played with great style and power.

 

Arrogance: On some people it looks good.

To finish my trio of movie themed posts, a step back to the 1930’s with the iconic Marlene Dietrich. She was beautiful, intelligent, stylish, multi-talented, openly bisexual and fought Nazi’s. What’s not to love?

I particularly liked this anecdote (from here), featuring the Paris chief of police and his reaction on hearing she was sailing towards France in a pantsuit…

…he announced that if she wore trousers in Paris, she would be arrested.

Dietrich doubled down. For her arrival in Paris, after docking at Cherbourg, she she chose to wear a suit, men’s coat, beret and sunglasses.

“She walked off the train, grabs the chief of police by his arm, and walks him off the platform,”

If you don’t know much about Marlene Dietrich, then it’s worth at least reading her Wikipedia page. Famous as an early film star and great beauty, she was also awarded the Medal of Freedom and  the Légion d’honneur for her work in WWII. She boxed in 1920’s Germany, had affairs with a string of Hollywood stars and shared their love letters with her cuckolded husband.  An amazing woman.

Strict Brita

I’ve posted in the past about my liking for images that are modified to scratch people’s specific kinky itches. Not so much for the images themselves, but for what it says about the variety of human desire and the endless drive to feed it.

This image is another case in point. It’s a particularly well done modification I think. The original is from 1910, by Carl Larsson and called ‘Brita in the drawing room‘.  Obviously somebody triggered off the school ma’am look of Brita and decided to add a cane to the image. I didn’t actually realize it had been modified initially, and thought I’d stumbled up on an interesting new fetish artist. In hindsight, the contrast between her expression and the rest of her ensemble should have tipped me off.

 

Too Many Thoughts

Here’s a final post with a toilet theme. This time it’s based on a series of tweets by Mistress An Li that captured my attention. You can see the entire sequence here, but I’ll just quote the first two and part of the final tweet. Fair warning, there is a mention of scat.

For all my shit-eatin’ humiliation bitches who don’t also want to eat my menses…like…what???

I just want to point out that your refusal of my period blood but fervent desire to eat my literally-biohazard shit is ridiculous.
……
I’m gonna put it out there that if you think you worship women, you eat shit, and you don’t eat menses, then you are a hypocrite. Reconsider your consumption values
Full tweet rant here.

I have to admit my brain bounced around a bit on this one. The short story version of that went like this…

  1. Interesting point, but to be fair to her shit-eatin humilation bitches, doesn’t shit have a very special place in our culture? After all, everyone toilet trains and defecates regularly. It’s part of our language, our insults and our humor. Fetishes often get built early, and for men, there’s no knowledge or interaction with period blood until the late teens.
  2. Isn’t it weird that I’m having internal debates about eating shit versus menses? I mean it’s kind of gross but also interesting and strange. I like the weird path I’ve taken in my life.
  3. Maybe my instinctive defense of the men in this situation is part of the problem? Doesn’t An Li have a good point here? Have I internalized problematic values? What does this kink (or lack of it) say about society?
  4. I need to spend less time on twitter and get out more. At this point I might be overthinking things.

This is Mistress An Li looking particular amazing in latex. She’s an LA based pro-domme and you can find her professional site here.

Can’t argue with science

I’m generally not a fan of news stories that poke fun at scientific studies. You probably know the sort of article I mean. In between all the lifestyle pieces on how chocolate, red wine or sleep  is good or bad for your health, lifespan or sex life, there’ll be a mocking article on how money is being wasted on silly studies. Any scientist today wanting to study finch beaks, hot mud or mold in dirty lab equipment, better be prepared for the tabloids to attack them as out of touch boffins who waste tax payer money.

All that said, let me now mock this study of online dating. It discovered the ground breaking fact that attractive people are attractive. Apparently, people on dating sites tend to try and gets dates with people more attractive than they are. Given that good looking people are used to attract us more ordinary folks to movies, clothes, music and just about every service and product in the known world, it’s hard to see why anyone thought dating would be different. Did they think people be stupid enough to fall for hot models in commercials, but then suddenly get all realistic and pragmatic when it came to their own dating lives?

Other astonishing results included the fact that men tend to be more active about messaging women, and that women get a higher response rate from their messages to men. I assume there next area of study will be if women like being send dick pics or if pornography can lead to masturbation.

I’ll end the post with an image of someone who definitely qualifies as highly attractive, and I’m sure would happily ignore any number of messages from people like myself on a dating site. This is Adreena Angela, a UK based pro-domme and model.

Willing to be Entrapped

What is it with Russia and the sexy red headed female spys? First there was Anna Chapman and now we’ve got Maria Butina. Has the FIS been watching too many James Bond movies? I guess if you’re going to corrupt American democracy, you might as well look good while doing it.

With this in mind, if there are similar Russian operatives still in the US, I’d like to announce that I know … lots of super important classified stuff. I might not be involved in politics, or defense, or election monitoring, or indeed anything apparently relevant, but trust me on this, I’ve got like dozens of top secret things in my head. I’m totally worth entrapping in a cunning erotic plot by a sexy female spy. She may even have to interrogate me. Tell her to pack nipple clamps and lingerie, but leave the thumb screws at home. Mild kink with a dose of sensuality is absolutely the best way to get inside my pants head.

The first image here is Anna Chapman and the second is Maria Butina.

The Pits

The story of a company selling advertising space on people’s armpits popped up onto my radar over the weekend. The idea is that the advertisement becomes visible when people grab hold of overhead straps on public transport.

I like this story for two reasons. Firstly, armpits are sexy. Definitely an underrated bit of the body. Secondly, its strikes me as a brilliant bit of guerrilla marketing. Not the general concept I hasten to add – pretty sure that’s bullshit. But the ad agency in question – Wakino –  has managed to get itself and its first and so far only armpit ad customer a lot of free PR. That first customer just happens to be an underarm hair removal product. So rather using a regular advertising campaign with models to get customers, they claimed to have created a whole new (silly) advertising vehicle, got a lot of free press coverage from that, and as result their company and their customer got a lot of eyeballs. It’s very meta.

This is Mistress T advertising nothing except the beauty of her own armpits and feet. I believe this is from her twitter feed.

1930’s Domme

This is a companion shot to a well known image that has been floating around on the web for years. I featured the more common shot in a post way back in 2011. I always liked that image, so was very pleasantly surprised to discover this other, less well known one, of the same domme by photographer Charles Guyette.

I think they’re both wonderfully erotic shots, and that’s from someone who has spent a couple of decades experiencing all the kinky imagery an uncensored internet has to offer. I can’t even begin to imagine the effect they’d have had on a submissive male 80 or more years ago. I’m guessing that for anyone lucky enough to have a hard copy of this back in the day, it was a well hidden and highly treasured possession.

I discovered via the mrunderheel’s twitter.