Am I a Pervert?

I very much like this video recorded for the BBC by Miss Marilyn. It’s great to see kink positive content being widely shared by a mainstream media source. It’s also good to see them drawing on experts like Miss Marilyn. Too often even nominally positive coverage ends up with journalists trying to awkwardly engage with the topic while personally distancing themselves from it. Plus, Miss Marilyn’s Scottish accent is sexy as hell.

Personally, when it comes to the question posed by the video and post title, I’m with the baby-eating bishop of Bath and Wells. Namely that I am a colossal pervert, and that I’m very happy about it. In modern parlance, I lean in on my perversions.

This image of Miss Marilyn comes from this tweet, which she describes as “straight outta 60’s horror film.” I totally see that, and love it for that reason. It reminds me of the kind of psychological horror movie where I always ended up rooting for the hot, crazy and interesting character over the bland hero.

If you’re interested in seeing more of Miss Marilyn, her twitter feed is here, her professional site here and her clips store here.

LA Fun Continued, Continued, Continued

For my final session in LA I met up with someone I’ve played with multiple times in the past – Mistress Lucy Khan. It was an appropriate end to my trip, as we played longer than the other sessions, and managed to combine an intense mixture of many different things. Some revisited themes of my other LA sessions (tease & denial, scent play, CBT, flogging) while others were unique to this particular event.

Notable in the ‘new activities for this trip’ column was an electrified urethral sound and vacuum cupping. The sounding was one of those activities that seem quite mild and pleasant – right up to the moment where it suddenly becomes an awful lot of ouch. In contrast the cupping was a much more meditative experience, almost relaxing, while producing some really spectacular marks. We shot a picture at the end of the session which shows them off pretty well  – here. My back also received a pretty heavy flogging, so there are multiple layers of marks and texture laid down by Lucy for that image.

After four different sessions with four different but highly talented dommes, it was interesting to reflect back on their approaches and stylistic variations. I enjoyed every session I did, but I think my most natural fit was with Mistress Iris and Mistress Lucy. They tend to a more playful approach, mixing laughter with intense moments. In fact if you look carefully at the image of my back, you can see Mistress Lucy smiling in reflection in the mirror. I take kink seriously, but that doesn’t mean it has to be serious. As I’ve written in the past, I think my fundamental kink is for contrasts, and I love Lucy’s ability to switch gears, sometimes pushing me hard and sometimes joking and playfully teasing. It’s a style which makes for a great play session in every sense of the word play.

This is Mistress Lucy in one of the rooms of her private session space, shot just before our session. You can browse her twitter feed here and visit her professional site here.

Tease, Denial & Bite

My LA trip so far has been a lot of fun. I’ve probably over scheduled my play sessions (as usual) and definitely eaten too much, but there are worse problems to have in life.

It kicked off with a fabulous session with Mistress Iris, where we attempted to answer the question: Just how hard can someone bite my nipple while teasing and frustrating me? The answer is very hard. Very hard indeed. I was still tender several days later. It’s amazing what being tied up and toyed with can do for my pain threshold. I don’t have a vore kink, but being bitten while in subspace does sometimes make the idea of being devoured actively appealing. At least in that moment.

For fans of Mistress Iris, or just fans of great kinky imagery, I’d encourage you to check out her newly launched Patreon. As I’ve written before, I think she produces some of the hottest and most aesthetically interesting femdom content around, so her Patreon should definitely be worth investing in.

This image of Mistress Iris was shot in Japan, with the traditional cherry blossoms as a backdrop.

In Praise of the Pits

Getting older inevitably means there are more and more things I don’t understand. My brain can only fit so much and our culture endlessly creates more and more stuff. I’m at peace with this. What really puzzles me are the things that I’ve known for years and never understood. Like the social pressure for women to remove armpit hair. As this articles highlights, it’s kind of a thing for a lot of people. I get that from an aesthetic perspective a great bushy undergrowth might be best avoided, but what’s wrong with a little scrub? I’ve never understood why totally bare is seen as normal.

I actually feel the same way about pubic hair. I’ve had dommes in the past get slightly annoyed that I’m not completely clean shaven around the genital region, which always tends to provoke a kind of reverse Costanza in me – “Is that wrong? Should I have done something about that? I tell ya, I’ve got to plead ignorance on this thing.”

This is Mistress Youko, a Japanese pro-domme, with a sexy armpit image posted to her twitter feed. Interestingly doing an image search for something like ‘femdom armpit’ produces an endless stream of denuded pits. Hair like this is definitely the exception, not the rule.

The Philosophers Stone

Alchemists believed that there was a mystical substance that could transmute any element into any other element – the Philosophers Stone. The medieval theory for this was that the stone was formed from the intrinsic material of the world, the fundamental base that all other things were made from, and hence provided a means to dissolve and reconstitute materials as the alchemist desired. Since most alchemists got funding by pitching get-rich-quick schemes to wealthy patrons, that typically meant turning lead into gold.

Sadly the philosophers stone doesn’t exist, but the concept got me thinking about it in the context of kinky activities and sexual desire. I like a lot of different activities, which on the face of it are all fairly different. Being hit with sticks is very different to having needles pushed through the skin, which is very different to being pissed on. I enjoy them all, but why? Is there a common element that might not be obvious but that underpins their appeal? Do kinky people have a personal philosopher’s stone?

I’m sure some of you at this point are thinking – “What’s this idiot talking about? Obviously female domination is the key underlying element. Hasn’t he looked at his site name recently?” That’s fair but I think wrong. From a personal perspective there are lot of femdom scenes that do nothing for me. For example, punishment scenes, interrogations, pony play, foot worship, ABDL, etc. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who unconditionally likes femdom in all its different forms. It’s too broad an area. The same argument applies to pain. I like it, but only in certain contexts. I’m not someone who enjoys a good beating for its own sake. I also enjoy scenes that don’t feature pain, so that can’t be the intrinsic element to my kink.

It was actually the picture below that gave me a clue to what I think is my fundamental base kink – contrasts. I love activities that clash contrasting dynamics. Sensual sadism, caring objectification, tease and denial, restriction with sensory overload. Cuckolding is hot as it combines love with betrayal. Punishment beatings are not because I associate them purely with negative emotions. Watersports are hot as they combine intimacy with objectification. Ballbusting is not (to me) as it seems predominantly about taking pain. In the case of the picture below it’s the contrast of beauty with severity. It’s the delicate feminine features of Lady Mephista set against the severe colors and form of her military outfit.

I think this is interesting, because understanding the basis for desires helps you to explore them. It gives me a clue about what else I might like, or how I could modify scenes to work better. I might not enjoy ballbusting on its own, but maybe doing it as a giggling schoolgirl roleplay – with the domme having fun teasing and picking on me – would add the contrast I’d need to make it work.

Does anyone else think they have a kinky philosophers stone? A base element that might not be immediately obvious but that threads through all their fantasies and play scenes?

Lady Mephista is a Berlin based domme whose professional site can be found here.

Easter Bunny

It’s Easter weekend, so what could be more appropriate than a very sexy Easter bunny image? Presumably this lady didn’t want to mess around hunting for eggs and went straight into torturing the source for their location.

What I love most about this image – among many things – is the nipple clamps on the bunny. I can’t imagine they’re particularly effective over that fluffy suit. Although when you’ve got a chained up giant bunny in a corset and a domme wearing sunglasses in a dungeon, then clearly Mr Logic has long since packed his bags and left town.

I’ve no idea where this is originally from. I found it here.

Discretion is the Better Part of Valor

You’ll find professional play spaces in all sorts of neighborhoods, in a wide variety of buildings and decorated in a lot of different styles. However, there’s one very consistent feature that applies to all of them – discretion in how you approach. When I’m playing with someone new, they’ll often spend a lot longer on the protocol for getting into the space than on the actual pre-scene discussion. Nobody wants a horny guy in a gimp suit wandering up and down the street knocking on doors and asking if anyone knows where Mistress Whiplash lives.

The perils of attracting the attention of the neighbors is highlighted by this recent story in the NY Times. While technically it might be totally legal to set-up a BDSM playspace, the reality is that the neighbors actually have a lot of leverage. Most people aren’t going to want to run the gamut of loud and disapproving locals when they’re trying to scratch a kinky itch. In this particular case it seemed one particular crazy religious neighbor (who suggested submissive guys would want to snatch kids off the street) was enough to torpedo a location.

Charlotte Taillor – the domme in question – did eventually manage to successfully relocate, but only after a lot of hassle and expense. It’s a tale worth keeping in mind for anyone visiting a professional space. You really don’t want to be the one to catch the eye of the local morality police and create a lot of problems for your domme.

This is Charlotte Taillor and the site for the Taillor Group is here. It’s billed as supporting ‘Female Empowerment & Education for the Kinkster or the Curious’.

Late Again

No idea where this is from, but it does have a sexy 1950’s feel. It’s best not to examine her proportions too closely however, lest you realize she’s 66% legs. At least if her tardy young man tries to escape, she’ll easily be able to run him down.

Role Models?

One slightly random follow-up thought from yesterday’s teacher related post: Why is it that parents thinks teachers need to be a role model for their pupils? Anytime there’s a minor scandal in a teacher’s private life, that’s the line that gets trotted out. I don’t get it. What pupils think their teachers are so amazing that they want to copy them? Frankly if there’s anything likely to make nude selfies seem uncool, it’s finding out your teacher is doing them.

I had many teachers, some good and some bad. I never saw any of them as a role model. My main thought was – why would any adult want to come back to school and deal with all these asshole teenagers? I can’t wait to get away from all this.

Of course I do have fond memories of some teachers. My English teacher – a Miss West – springs to mind. She had the right mix of intelligence, stern authority and care for her pupils that made an adolescent paltego quite smitten. A fact he demonstrated by walking into things, dropping books and tripping over his own feet anytime they crossed paths.

Sadly I think the site this image is originally from has ceased to be.

Tease and Arghhhh!

Here’s a question for my male readers: What could possibly be the problem with a beautiful woman in exciting fetish garments, tying you down and then gently teasing and caressing you? The answer –  at least in my specific case this evening – is if the aforementioned woman has already sutured your foreskin closed, creating a tightly packaged penis parcel. In that situation your dick will try and do its best alien chest bursting impersonation, only to be thwarted by several strands of thin suture thread. The end result is less gory than the classic John Hurt scene, but the amount of screaming is about the same. It’s a situation where you really don’t want to pop a stitch.

The instigator of this pleasure/pain combination was Ms Savannah Sly and, although it may not necessarily sound like it, we had a wonderful scene tonight. There were also needles, staples and electrics involved at various points.  It’s always a fun time when the activity list sounds more like a trip to the ER than a kinky scene. Although I doubt many doctors would giggle quite so much when sticking a staple into my nipple.

This image is of Ms Savannah Sly brandishing another sharp pointy toy. You can see more of her via her twitter feed.