Hope the wind doesn’t change

I am a master of the silly expression. I like to dream that I’m a stoic masochist, looking serious and intense through a scene, groaning only in deep manly ways at really extreme moments. In reality I know I pull all sorts of odd faces and make all manner of strange sounds. I therefore love this shot of someone reacting in a very unforced and natural way. It makes a nice change from the usual images of heavily tortured men with vaguely frowny faces.

Anne and Jim II, by Barbara Nitke

The image was shot by Barbara Nitke as part of her Illuminata series.

Where dirt meets water

I’m not a big fan of the beach. I tend to subscribe to Bill Hick’s view of it…

What’s the fucking deal with the beach? I don’t get it. It’s where dirt meets water, alright? Is that that fucking amazing to you? I’ve got a bathtub and an imagination, I’m staying indoors this summer. That way I can listen to music that I like. Maybe I’m just jealous man, everyone at the beach is perfect, you know; tanned skin, white teeth, I’ve got white skin, tanned teeth.

Although anyone who has actually been to a beach recently will know that everyone is very much not perfect. There’s a lot of scary skin on display out there. It’s enough to make one thankful for baggy jeans and shapeless shirts.

When I’m not being a curmudgeon about the whole thing, I do enjoy the sound of the surf. And there is something about when dirt meets water that is a touch inspiring. That edge of land touching the apparently limitless ocean does spark a sense of awe. Particularly when viewed from the tiki bar across the street. So in honor of that, here’s a nice beach related image from Old Man Equine.

Old Man Equine Artwork

Lady Merreth

The drawing below is by SYoshiko (free deviant art login required) and is entitled ‘Concept sketch for Lady Merreth the Submission‘ The Lady Merreth character is from an as yet unpublished fantasy fiction tale. You can read more about the fiction here and here, and see more of the associated artwork here.

I’m personally not a big fantasy fiction fan, although the idea of a strong woman in leather who kicks ass is certainly an appealing one. I could even lose the leather and stay happy. I also like this artwork a lot. As the title says, it’s a concept sketch, so it’s not as developed as some of the other drawings of the character, but I love the fluidity and dreamy nature of it.

Concept Sketch of Lady Merrethby SYoshiko

Real Sex

The Vulture site is carrying an interesting article on the old HBO show Real Sex. I was amazed to discover it first aired back in 1990 and ran for almost 20 years. I didn’t encounter it until I moved to the States in 2001 and, based on the frank manner it addressed sex, had always assumed it was of a fairly recent vintage.

It was by no means a great show. Although the article claims they aimed to be sincere and to laugh ‘with’ and not ‘at’ the people involved, I always detected an undercurrent of cynicism. Beneath the veneer of education and illumination there were clearly elements of titillation (ok with me) and mockery (not so good). However, all that said, I think it still was a net positive in helping people talk more frankly about their sexual interests. For example, this post from D. Hubby directly references the effect an episode on spanking had on his life.

One particular part of the interview that caught me eye was this quote…

It was always a challenge for us to find good-looking people. It’s certainly true of nudists, but a lot of people doing weird sex stuff are not necessarily young and attractive.
Katie Smalheer, associate/coordinating/supervising producer, 1996–2005

I think that’s a very telling comment. It could be taken to mean that people doing ‘weird sex stuff’ are unusually unattractive.The reality is that this media filtered view of the world is incredibly biased. Visual attractiveness is a valued commodity, particularly when nakedness is involved. Almost all commercial visual media picks from a tiny pool of conventionally attractive people. People into ‘weird sex stuff’ are simply a normal cross-section of the populace, and that clashes with the narrow selection criteria we normally expect for naked people on film. Our perception of what is acceptable or normal is horribly skewed.

I don’t have a particularly great image to use for this post, so I’ll finish with the kind of scene that I’m sure Real Sex would have loved to feature. That Miss Eve from the Young Dommes site.

Miss Eve

The holy trinity

I always enjoy analyzing the dynamics of BDSM play. How it works and how actions map into emotions. It’s an infinitely complex space and I’m sure everyone reacts to it differently. However, after playing earlier this week, it struck me that there are three main styles of interaction in the majority of my sessions: Pain, pleasure and comfort.

Pain is an expected part of BDSM. It’s the needle to the nipple, the cane to the inner thigh. Pleasure is also an easily understandable aspect. It’s the pressure of a vibrator or a gentle pegging. The third and final component, comfort, is the hardest to describe. It’s the soothing hand to the cheek or a murmured word of praise. It’s what calms me down when the pain begins to build and helps anchor me when my stress levels rise.

The dynamic can shift rapidly between these three themes, and I find it particularly interesting how that affects the connection between myself and the domme. I think most non-kinky people would assume that pleasure would bring you closer to someone and pain would push you away. Yet for me it’s very much the opposite. The pain elevates the domme in my eyes, making her the center of my world, and the comfort draws me to her. The interplay between the two is a very powerful and attractive one. In contrast the pleasure sends me into myself and weakens our connection. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy it or appreciate it. Just that it has a simpler, baser appeal, that’s much more about me than it is about us.

When it comes to femdom porn, it’s normally big on the pain and pleasure, less on the comfort. This shot seems a happy exception. Judging by his red marks he’s certainly experienced the pain part.

Comfort

I found this one the adore femdom tumblr. The originally site has sadly ceased to exist.

Not a strictly the regulation uniform

While I’m on the theme of peaked military caps, here’s a particularly beautiful image featuring one. The cap reminds me of something from the era of the first World War, although her body stocking isn’t quite of the same vintage. It’s the colors that really captured my attention. The gorgeous tone of her skin and the muted but warm notes in the costume. Plus, she appears to be using her crop as a back scratcher rather than theatrically brandishing it, which makes an interesting change.

St Merrique posing with peaked cap and crop The photograph features the model St Merrique and was taken by Tom Lane (free deviant art account needed for both links). You can see other shots from the same series in Tom’s deviant art gallery. I originally found this image on the Mostly Femdom tumblr.

Nice outfit. Shame about the set.

There’s an old quote that runs along the lines of – “The problem with pornographic movies is that they objectify women, they degrade the viewer and they’re so terribly badly lit.” For BDSM porn I often think you could update that quote by talking about the sets rather than the lights.

The faux-medieval dungeon look that crops up in a lot of professional scenes is one annoyance. They’ll have a model dressed like a latex fetishist’s wet dream, in a space modeled on a medieval castle (this for example). These two things do not go together. Or you’ll have shots like below, where it looks like they’ve paid no attention at all to the set. I actually like her outfit. It doesn’t do much for me erotically, but I appreciate the details and effort that has gone into it. But what’s with the TV unit, bedroom furniture and sloppily undressed guy? The outfit screams fancy equestrian fantasy scene and the set suggests we couldn’t be bothered to leave the house on a wet Wednesday afternoon. It’s hard to fantasize about the haughty Miss Tippington-Cambell disciplining the insolent stable boy when it looks like they’re in a suburban semi in Croydon (read that as townhouse in Des Moines for my US readers).

Nice outfit. Shame about set.

There’s not watermark but I think this is from the Strict Women site. They typically feature more conventional domestic scenes with (usually) conventional dress. I found it on the Hoejhael tumblr.

Who’s honoring me now?

I was very happy to learn that I featured at position 18 in the recently released Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2012. To be honest I’d never heard of this list until a few days ago, and I’ve no idea exactly how the nomination or judging process works. However, on reading it I was immediately struck by the great wisdom and insightful perception of the compiler, Rori. Clearly she’s someone whose judgement should be beyond reproach. And you can trust me on that. I am after all the 18th greatest sex blogger in the world.

A number of my fellow femdom bloggers, with whom I’ve exchanged many friendly comments and emails in the past, also made it onto the list. Ferns in 27th, D from Dumb Domme in 31st, Axe at 49th, Suzanne at 72nd, etc. To them, and all the thousands of nameless sex bloggers who toil over their keyboards every day for little recognition, I say: Suck It! Clearly you’re neither as sexy or as bloggy as me.

If I’m reading this right (and I am), then this is also implies I’m the 18th greatest blogger in the world at sex. I always thought that was true, but it’s nice to have it confirmed by a stranger on the internet. I knew those years of practice alone would pay off. Now I just need to find all the women I’ve slept with in the last few years and show it to both of them. They claimed I was rubbish, but I always said it was impossible for them to form a proper opinion in just a few seconds.

The only thing I’m disappointed by is the lack of an inscribed award statue to stick over the fireplace. Even just a badge or a T-shirt would have been nice. I’m going to be in Vegas again in a weeks time, and I’ve got to think that they would make a great conversation starter in bars. Just as long as nobody from positions 1 through 17 were there to sex-blog block me.

I’ve no idea what image would be suitable for a sex blog award, so here’s an attractive lady in lacy lingerie holding a riding crop. You’re welcome.

Lacy lingerie and riding crop

The picture is from the Dominant Ladies tumblr. For anyone who has never seen Stephen Colbert, and might be in danger of thinking I was being serious in the post, here and here are some examples of what you’ve been missing.

On the edge of my seat

This will be a short post. I’m sitting very gingerly in front of my computer trying not to fidget around too much. Lydia gave me a good working over with a series of paddles, canes and straps earlier this evening. As a result my ass is a little tender. Although during the event itself it was my upper back and shoulder blades that took the real punishment. That is a horrible place to be caned.

Anyway, before I retire to the couch with a cocktail to enjoy my endorphin buzz and general feelings of happiness, I’ll leave you with a shot of someone trying to avoid a similar fate. This is obviously based on Tintin, and is by the artist Claude Mirande (English translation). Personally I was always more of a fan of Asterix than Tintin as a child, but if Claude had been illustrating I would have been very temped to switch allegiances.

Tintin artwork by Claude MirandeI found this on the Femdom Style Counsel tumblr.

The little things

It’s often small details that make a photograph come to life for me. Some little thing that I can connect with and use to spin my own private fantasy. I suspect in a lot of cases they’re accidental touches that the photographer never planned or was even aware of.

In the case of this image it’s not her attractive figure or the brandished crop that caught my eye, it’s his upturned feet on the bed. I can just picture him in a classic ‘chilling in hotel room’ pose. He’s flipping channels, scratching his stomach and debating raiding the mini-bar when this vision of kinky loveliness appears at the door. The scene from there pretty much writes itself. There’s a cliched jaw drop, a comically inappropriate family show on the tv, a slow deliberate saunter into the room, a howl as the crop smacks his feet and a scramble to get off the bed and into position.

Domme In DoorwayI’ve completely failed to track down an original source for this image. I found it on the Kinky Games tumblr.