Not so Secure

Back in 2020 I featured a story on a internet enabled chastity device that had significant security problems. Unfortunately for anyone still trusting these devices with their dick or their details, it seems that there are problems once again. Last time it was the device itself being insecure. This time it’s a service leaking emails, passwords and location information.

Internet security is an interesting thing. It’s very hard to be perfectly secure in all situations. However, it’s pretty easy to get basic stuff right and follow well known protocols. When you’re dealing with identifying information and sex toys you’d think getting this basic stuff right would be step 1, but apparently not. Even worse, according to the techcrunch article, when the flaws were pointed out, nothing was done.

When it comes to locking your dick up, I’d suggest keeping it simple and mechanical. Ideally, for those that can afford it, go with a quality product like Steelwerks. The shot below is from Ms Steelwerks, who posts a lot of lovely sexy shots featuring their products on her Twitter feed. There’s no danger of this dick getting hijacked by hackers.

Modern Marriage

The Guardian has a short but fun article on the sex life of a married pro-domme and her not particularly kinky husband. As you might expect the gap between internet fantasy and reality is a large one. They come across as a sweet couple.

While it’s nice to see a positive story about a sex worker and her happy home life, it does highlight an ongoing problem for the femdom community. Pro-dommes are the very public face of femdom, but many of them may choose to not make it part of their personal lives. That reinforces the idea that femdom is really all about male desires and for women it’s purely a performative act. That’s not the fault of pro-dommes, but it does lead to a skewed perception. I’ve enjoyed the Guardian’s series on couple’s sex lives, but it’s a shame the first femdom mentioned plays yet further into that perception. Fingers crossed there’ll be a regular non-professional domme featured at some point.

This very sexy artwork is by artist Soushiyo. Can find more of their work via their Twitter feed and their comic series Familiar.

More on AI

There’s one type of AI image that seems particular common – older women with enormous flawless breasts. I’d guess it’s a single person with a very specific kink churning them out, but maybe there’s a whole art collective involved. I would say it’s one for Dr. Freud, but even he might think it’s a little too on the nose.

The image below – with a caption added by Tom Allen – is an example of what I mean. You can find other examples on his twitter here and here.

Tom left a comment on my previous post that made an excellent point: AI imagery is likely to be a great source for caption creators. It avoids the issues of copyright and unwanted repurposing while giving a lot more control to the caption writer. Right now the image prompt writers and caption writers are likely different people. But once the tools get mature and widespread I can image a lot of new content from people writing image prompts for the particular scene they want to then caption.

You can see more captions from Tom on his tumblr and twitter.

Lockdown (updated)

The rogue chastity device story was such a big one it feels like I should do a follow-up. It popped up all over the place. Something that the unfortunately trapped men will presumably not be doing anytime soon.

I may have been too optimistic about the ease of escaping the device, as I saw numerous online comments from people reporting being trapped for days. I guess in some ways that could be seen as selling point. Buy our device and you’ll be doing #locktober whether you like it or not.

Fortunately, there is a relatively easy escape route. Freddie Clegg’s humorous post on the subject linked me to this BBC article which suggests a screwdriver might be all that’s needed to escape. There’s a video for that trick on the companies site. The people who discovered the original flaws have another suggestion for escaping, described towards the bottom of this page.

As seems inevitable in any hacking story, Russians and bitcoin were also involved. Estelle Sinclair described an attempt to extort money from one of her submissives using the device. I guess if you imagine the Russian hacker as a icy cruel blonde Slavic lady, then that’d actually be kind of a hot scene. It’s just lucky the device didn’t come with a punishment setting capable of delivering electric shocks. That could have led to a few guys learning all about crypto-currencies in record time.

Finally, for anyone wanting a more serious deep dive into the issues here, the buttplug.io twitter feed has put up some lengthy threads on the topic. Worth checking out it you’re still intrigued by this kind of tech.

This is clearly a much more low-tech device that’s being inspected. I feel I should totally know the name of the two dommes in the image, but my brain is failing me. Hopefully a reader can help with the correct attribution.

Updated: Thanks to my ever knowledgeable readers I can attribute this to Lady Sophia Black and Ms Morrigan Hel.  I think it’s from a shoot for The English Mansion. 

Lockdown

I’m sure most readers have already seen the story featured in today’s post. It’s been covered in the tech press, the mainstream press and sex blogs. It even popped up on Colbert’s Late Show. Yet I feel I really couldn’t hold my head up high as a femdom sex blogger if I didn’t mention the Bluetooth enabled chastity device that has a horrible security flaw. Apparently during penetration testing (huh huh) security researchers discovered that attackers could take control of the lock, as well as scan for contacts and location information.

From the tech perspective, I think this is the kind of hacking story we should get used to seeing. It’s getting cheaper and cheaper to add this technology into products of all types. There are lots of small companies springing up making specialized internet enabled devices and security is hard to get right and hard for end users to understand. That inevitably makes it a low priority for the manufacturers.

From the sex perspective, there seems to be a bit of a disconnect between the reporting and what chastity device users normally say. The mainstream articles suggests you might require heavy duty angle grinders to escape. What I’ve read in the past from chastity device users is that pretty much any device is removable if it doesn’t involve a piercing. Give it enough lube and wiggling and the male genitals are capable of  Houdini-esque feats of escape.

This drawing – featuring a far more traditional device – is by The Smutty Rogue.

Interactive Gags

I’ve been surprised in the past by how much some dommes like throat fucking. From both comments on social media and personal experience it’s clearly a real button pusher. On multiple occasions I’ve been spluttering and coughing on a dildo wondering ‘Why?’

I guess I shouldn’t be too perplexed. Gags are hot, and a strap-on in the mouth is just an interactive form of that. From the domme perspective of intimate penetration and generating a strong reaction, there’s not much too choose between the throat or the anus. In fact, if you want to watch for a subs response, the face works way better. It’s just the submissive’s bad luck that they don’t have a prostate in the back of the throat. Which makes me wonder – was there ever a gay version of deep throat that went with that particular spin?

This is by the artist Skyldfri, sourced from this specific tweet.

Time Killers

One of my guilty pleasures during quarantine has been reading the Reddits Relationships and Am I the Asshole. They’re very moreish, alternately amusing and enraging, particularly when consumed via the twitter versions @redditships and @AITA_reddit. They offer a filtered ‘best of’, with quick and easily browsed postings.

My favorite in recent days was this story featuring a bride with a bizarre wedding night ritual. While most newly married couples simply depart for their honeymoon after the wedding, this bride’s family expects them to consummate the marriage while the clan gathers outside the bedroom door. Then they all cheer when the happy and slightly sweaty couple emerge. Some of the bed linen is kept to add to what can only be described as a family fuck blanket.

It’s an insane tradition that nobody should ever follow, but it does make me wish the bride and groom would take the chance to turn the tables on their nosy relatives. They could arrive at the door with bags bulging with rope, coiled leather implements and jiggly rubber outfits. Make the relatives wait for an hour or two outside while creating lots of strange and disturbing noises. Then, just when they think it’s all over, have the bride pop her head out the door and say – “Sorry. We’re totally in the zone here. Killer scene. Could one of you pop down to the kitchen and bring me some clothespins and the big wooden spoon? Also, maybe the big bottle of Crisco?” That should clear the corridor of her parents and cousins pretty quickly.

I’m guessing this image has been cropped to remove the watermark, but I’m fairly certain it’s originally from The English Mansion.

A Problem in the Pant Department

If you hang out on kinky social media sites you’ll inevitably come across stories of people braving airport security with kinky toys. The best advice I’ve heard for when a TSA agent starts quizzing you on the contents of your toy bag is simply to say “It’s a sex thing”.  That pretty much guarantees they’ll want to quickly drop whatever it is and move on.

Of course that approach doesn’t really work if the toy in question is currently residing in your pants and locked onto your dick – as Thumper recently found out. While airports have strict rules about taking shoes and belts off, chastity devices occupy more of a grey area. Although they do have special TSA locks for luggage, so maybe that could be adopted for dicks? Just make the agent in charge of telling everyone how to put their laptop in a bin also responsible for unlocking  chastity devices and running them through the x-ray luggage scanner. Admittedly you might upset some people re-locking your chastity device on the other side of the security gate, but you could just tell them it’s for their own safety. The contents of your pants are now guaranteed to be safely non-explosive, both literally and metaphorically.

Thumper clearly handed the situation with great aplomb. He was at least fortunate to be in a simple plastic device. The conversation might have been different had he been in something like the steelweeks device below. I think this is very cool, but I wouldn’t want to try and explain it to an uncomprehending TSA agent. The only thing that’d make it more suspicious would be a couple of blue and red wires and a big countdown timer.

This is the Steelwerks Steampunk device.

A Not So Magical Elixir

I think it’s fair to say that a lot of men have an inflated and illogical opinion of the importance of their penis. Nothing else can explain the amount of time and energy that goes into jerking, edging, pumping, photographing, locking up, boasting about and  sticking objects into them. If anyone ever invents a way to harness all that activity, we could solve the world energy crisis overnight.

After years spent in the sketchier parts of the internet, I thought I’d seen every possible male dick delusion. Of course, the world is always a weirder and more wonderful place than you can ever imagine – as this story about an Irishman with back pain reveals. He thought his penis had magical healing properties and spat forth a mighty elixir to cure his ills. More specifically, he thought that injecting his semen into his arm would cure his lower back pain.

I’d love to untangle the thought process behind this. Did he just think his dick was like a magical lamp, and rubbing it would produce a solution to all his problems? Or was there some solid scientific thinking behind it based on stem cells? After all stem cells therapy is a treatment, and stem cells come from embryos, and semen is involved in making embryos – so was he just cutting out the middle thing-that-might-end-up-a man? I also like the fact he was injecting his arm rather than the actual site of the pain. Doctors typically use the arm for inoculations and blood tests, so clearly he was just following conventional medical practice there. Wouldn’t want to do anything too crazy.

Perhaps my favorite part of the whole story was a doctor who “described the case as “unique” and said it demonstrated the risks of innovative treatments that are relied upon prior to clinical research in the form of phased trials.” Of all the things this case demonstrates, the need for proper clinical trials before injecting yourself with semen is probably not the take away I would have gone with.

Alice (from Alice In BondageLand) is clearly taking no chances here. With all powerful medicines it’s advisable to fit a tamper-proof lid and store them in a safe place. I think this household should be safe enough from an inadvertent semen overdose.