The unhealthy alternative to SPH

This Guardian article on surgical penis extensions isn’t really anything to do with femdom, but I found it fascinating, so I’m going to feature it anyway. Some of my takeaways were that it always seems to be a guy self-esteem issue, their female partners don’t really care about it, and that often the guys getting the surgery aren’t that small anyway.

The really crazy thing is that it doesn’t make any difference to the erect length, it just makes it look longer when its flaccid and hanging. Apparently that’s better for the locker room image. Who seriously gives a shit about that? Between the attribution of Trump’s pussy grabbing to just ‘locker room talk that all guys do’ and now this surgery for a bigger locker room dick, I’m really wondering what kind of gyms people are going to. Personally I just get in, get changed and get out. Apparently there’s a whole sexual dick measuring thing (both literal and metaphorical) going on that I’ve thankfully missed out on.

I’m not into Small Penis Humiliation (SPH), but frankly that seems a way more healthy reaction to dick size issues than having a surgeon chop at a ligament and stuff fat into your dick.  No SPH scene ever left someone with a bent misshapen dick that doesn’t work properly anymore.

Of course another alternative is to go totally artificial. You can have any size you (or she) likes in that kind of set-up.

This is from Mistress T’s twitter feed.

Kitchen Toy

The kink part of my East Coast tour has sadly come to an end. What’s left is just the part I actually came all the way out here for – doing touristy stuff with family in Washington D.C. I basically used 4 days of family time as an excuse for 10 prior days of debauchery and perverted sexual practices. So … yay me?

While I’ve eaten out at some fantastic restaurants during the trip (Smyth in Chicago and Momofuku Ko in NYC would be the two stand-outs), what I’m really missing right now is my own kitchen and my own food. There’s something very satisfying and fulfilling about prepping and cooking a meal from your own cookbooks and with your own equipment.

Unlike this gentleman, I can’t say I’ve ever taken to naked cookery. Hot liquid droplets and splatters would seem to be an issue. Not to mention the problem of genitals in the proximity of work surfaces. On the other hand, if that’s what it takes to get Mistress Iris and Mistress Eva near my kitchen, it’s certainly a risk I’m prepared to take. I’d happily play prep cook, line cook, busboy and waiter for them.

Image is from this tweet and credited to dk_photo_88. While I’ve sadly not (yet) met Mistress Eva, I can personally attest that Mistress Iris is a fabulous domme to play with.

Dumb and Dumber

I’ve blogged about the stupidity of consent apps previously. The idea that you can swipe right to rubber stamp consent on a sexual encounter is a dangerous one. Firstly, it undermines the idea that consent is ongoing and always open to renegotiation or withdrawal. An agreement at minute one tells you nothing about what happened at minutes two through sixty. Secondly, an incapacitated or unwilling person could always be coerced to use the app, setting up a possible defense for an attacker.  On the flip-side, no jury is going to take the lack of a digitally signed consent as useful piece of evidence. After all, not using an app in the heat of the moment is standard behavior for 99.99% of people. So they clarify nothing, while working against potential victims and for potential attackers.

Of course there is no stupid technical solution that can’t somehow be made more stupid. Software people are inventive like that. In this case some Dutch tech-bro’s have managed to take the broken consent app concept and marry it with the latest tech craze – blockchain. For those that haven’t heard of this before, blockchain is the technical basis for cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin. Personally, I’m a cynic on the current cryptocurrency craze, whilst still admiring the design of some of the underlying technology. However, in this particular case, it makes no sense. A decentralized design is logical when you want to avoid a single point of attack that governments and thieves can target to take control. Not so much when you’re tracking two people ticking a consent box. I can’t see the Russian hackers taking a break from social media and our elections to go after consent apps.

When it comes to negotiating consent, it’s always important to do it before the gag goes in. You can always renegotiate at anytime, but sometimes are definitely easier than others.

I’m afraid I’ve no source for this image.

Updated: Thanks to an eagle eyed reader I can attribute this to the artist xxxx52 who has a patreon site.

Sleek Maid

This photograph breaks a couple of my soft rules for picking images for posts. Firstly, it’s a headless shot. I typically shy away from close shots of random limbs and appendages. Secondly, it features cross-dressing and a French maid outfit. I very occasionally feature those two ideas together, but they normally lean on themes of humiliation and ridicule, which really doesn’t push my buttons.

However, I like this shot, because the submissive’s look is so sleek. There’s a cool looking leather corset, a short skirt and a well packaged package. It doesn’t suggest humiliation or a submissive embarrassed by the outfit. It puts in mind a stylish maid, who’ll deliver afternoon tea on time, get the cucumber sandwiches just right, and look damn good while doing it.

Cock Cage Fantasy

Recently I’ve been fantasizing about cock cages. That might not seem like hot news. Submissive guy has chastity fantasy – hold the front page. But I’ve actually been fantasizing about other guys in steel cock cages. And I’m still straight, or at least I was the last time I checked.

What prompted this was hanging out in Los Angeles restaurants and observing groups dining together. Many of them seemed to consist of very average but loud men dining with very attractive but quiet women. There’s nothing unique to LA about that combination, but it seems more prevalent here. There’s something particularly annoying about watching overweight guys in badly fitted suits holding forth at great length about their latest business deal while their female companions sit back and nurse their drinks.

The male ego is particularly unattractive when displayed so blatantly. What cheered me up was to imagine them all wearing expensive steel chastity devices, shifting around uncomfortably beneath their Zegna suits. They might have been boasting to their buddies over the steak course, but in my fantasy the ladies held the key to their devices, and then fucked them brutally when they got home. Who knows, it might even have been true in some cases.

Talking of cock cage fantasies – here’s a great one from Steelwerks. This is the steampunk cage.

Caging the devil

The idea of chastity definitely pops up in the bible, but I don’t remember any actual devices featuring anywhere. Although I guess the book of Revelations did talk about “…an angel coming down out of heaven, having the key to the Abyss and holding in his hand a great chain.” The angel then goes on to use the chain to bind a serpent, so I guess this could be one creative interpretation of that.

The image makes me smile, but I can’t help thinking it’d be better switched around, with a male angel in chastity and a devilish lady in control. I know some people love long term denial and control, but with an angel for a keyholder you could be looking at a thousand years of blue balls.

devilandangelI’m afraid I’ve absolutely no idea who the artist is.

Cosmo recommends

This Cosmos article entitled 7 Kinds of Porn You Don’t Watch — But Might Love is pretty self-explanatory. It’s a pointer to porn that women might enjoy but hadn’t considered trying. The good news is that both femdom and pegging are on the list. The bad news is that it doesn’t really given any suggestions how to experience them. The only link is to the kink.com site, and I don’t think that’s a great starting point. You have to pay to play and it has a lot of intense scenes, neither of which are good if you’re a tiny bit curious but not convinced.

That got me thinking – what actually what would be a good recommendation in this case? Are there sites that portray femdom in a positive light, that aren’t awash in porn cliches and won’t scare a newbie off? It’s a tricky question. I can think of some tumblrs I’d recommend, but tumblrs tend to come and go and are often hard to find. If you’re curious about spanking then I think Pandora Blake’s Dreams of Spanking hits the spot. It shows a positive side to kink and manages to be professional without being porn-y. Outside of that, I’m kind of stuck. Any other suggestions from readers?

This image is from the Tickleberry site, which actually would be a fairly good one to point newcomers at. It’s not porn, but it has got a bunch of articles explaining a lot of basic stuff like pegging, chastity, domination, etc. Unfortunately it doesn’t look like it has been updated in the last year or so.

chastity

Growth industry

While I’m talking about cuckolding (as I was), I’ll make an entirely anecdotal observations: It’s a rapidly growing area of porn. Based purely on my random browsing, I seem to be seeing a lot more of it. A decade ago it was rare, but now it pops up all over the place. At least all over the places I frequent, which are, admittedly, not your usual kind of places.

In many ways it seems the easiest kind of kinky porn to shoot. You don’t expensive outfits, specialist riggers, a dungeon full of toys or a submissive who can take a beating. It’s just a regular porn threesome, except with one of the participants pulling a funny expression and looking aghast at what’s going on. At the same time, it’s also one of the hardest types of scenes to pull off in real life. Persuading a life partner to indulge in a little bondage or spanking is one thing, but it’s quite something to bring a third into a relationship. Similarly, it’s easy to set-up a regular BDSM session with a pro-domme, but very few of them offer a genuine cuckold type experience.

Of course, when it comes to a genuine cuckold experience, the porn productions aren’t much better. They do however have some of the most amusing porn images. This image is a classic of the type. The cuckold is doing something completely ridiculous, the hot blonde is wearing heels and staring at the camera and the black bull is reduced to a disembodied big penis. That’s most cuckolding porn in a nutshell.

cs04This is from the Cuckold Sessions site. You can see more images from the scene at this blog post.

There’s always something new to learn

I thought that after years of writing this blog and hanging out on kinky sites, that I’d seen pretty much every kink there was. In hindsight that seems somewhat naive, given the complexity of human sexuality. For example, I’d never heard of a kink based on being a human statue, yet here we have it. Given I’ve featured people being lamps in the past, I guess being a statue isn’t so strange. If you’re into CFNM and mental bondage then it makes some sort of sense.

I used to think that cleaning up after hot wax play was the most annoying post-session chore, but this body paint is probably worse. At least he’s indoors and doesn’t have to worry about pigeons.

Statue1I found this shot at the Brat Princess tumblr (you can see another shot from the same scene here). There’s no watermark, but I assume it’s from the original Brat Princess site.