Earning an honest dollar

A few days ago I had a good rant about the incredibly obnoxious expression of ‘selling their bodies’. Today I stumbled across this Bustle article by Casper Rose that touches on similar ground. I’m happy to say Casper’s article is far better written, reasoned and more personal. She highlights the hypocrisy of how society sub-divide different types of physical labor, as well as the complexity sex work introduces into her personal life. It’s an interesting and moving article.

For an image I’m going to feature somebody looking particularly proud of their days work. This is from the Kinky Domina.

Kinky Domina

Flicking

Flicking is one of those things that seems like a pretty mild sensation but can actually build to something really intense.The trick is not to aim for a single strong flick, but use a repeated series of flicks to the same spot. The exact periodicity or rhythm doesn’t matter, you just want to get a small group of nerves constantly singing.

From a psychological perspective it’s a bit like an itch or someone constantly poking you. After a bit you just want to yell ‘Goddamn it! Stop that.’ From a physical perspective focusing in one spot can really exaggerate the sensation. I’m not sure what the underlying mechanism in the nervous system is, but it seems to be a cumulative one, where the pain gradually builds. This is particularly the case when the spot is a sensitive one to start with.

FlickingI’m afraid I don’t know the source of this image, although if I had to guess, I’d say it was one of the kink.com sites. I found it on the Please Take My Control tumblr.

Updated: Thanks to a very helpful comment from François I can confirm it’s a kink image, specifically from Men In Pain and features Miss Brooke and Andy Mann.

T & D by KT

After yesterday’s post and artwork I feel a whole sequence of tease and denial posts coming on. There are three artists in particular that always spring to mind when I think of that topic. The first of them is Kami Tora. The artwork below is a pretty classic example of his work in this area. Cute figures. Exaggerated body parts. A nice sense of tension. And a fair amount of spurting or trickling fluids. Tease and denial by Kami Tora

Getting a good buzz going

Masochists come in all shapes and sizes. For example, I give you Dr Schmidt, inventor of the Schmidt Sting Pain Index which rates certain insects (hymenoptera) by the degree of pain their sting produces. Admittedly he’s an entomologist who studies these insects in the field, so getting stung is part of the job description. I also wouldn’t say that inventing a pain scale automatically makes you a masochist. If you’re a thoughtful scientist who gets stung that seems like a logical thing to do. I think the giveaway is the descriptions he gives the stings.

A Yellowjacket sting is apparently – “Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.” In contrast the Sweet Bee is – “Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. As if a tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.” Nobody can wrote those kind of descriptions without some appreciation for the pleasures of pain.

'Eaten Alive' by XRendererThe above image is by the artist XRenderer. From the pot she’s holding I’m guessing these are supposed to be honey bees. According to Dr Schmidt they feel “like a matchhead that flips off and burns on your skin.” I can’t imagine that can be too pleasant on a scrotum. Unless you like that kind of thing of course.

A great expression

I’m always keen on interesting CBT shots, but it’s the expression on the ladies face that really makes this image. I like to think he has just moaned loudly and that’s her reaction to it. Half amused at his cries and half quizzical about the level of pain. She’s pondering does it really hurt or is he exaggerating? Should she should give it another twist to see if she can get an even better sound out of him?

GreatExpressionThis is from the Divine Bitches site. I’m afraid I don’t know the name of the lovely lady in the glasses. I found it on the Alternative Femdom tumblr.

Lacking all reason

My previous post featured what I thought was a good article on the positive side of mixing discussion, consent and sex. Today’s post brings you the flipside – a really stupid post on sex and consent. Other bloggers may aim to bring you only good things; I like to go with more of a harmonious yin and yang approach.

The article is (ironically) from Reason magazine and is entitled ‘California’s Sexual Consent Law Will Ruin Good Sex for Women‘. It was prompted by the recent ‘Yes means Yes‘ law passed in California, which aims to shift the emphasis in colleges from an assumption of consent to a need to actively gain consent. There’s an interesting discussion to be had about that law, but the Reason article by Shikha Dalmia certainly isn’t it. The bit that really irked me was this…

…there is usually a difference in tempo between men and women, with women generally requiring more “convincing.” And someone who requires convincing is not yet in a position to offer “affirmative” much less “enthusiastic” consent. That doesn’t mean that the final experience is unsatisfying — but it does mean that initially one has to be coaxed out of one’s comfort zone. Affirmative consent would criminalize that.
The reality is that much of sex is not consensual — but it is also not non-consensual. It resides in a gray area in between, where sexual experimentation and discovery happen.

I’m going to resist the temptation to draw conclusions about Shikha Dalmia’s sex life based on this. I can say it’s pretty piss poor logic with no apparent understanding of what consent means.

One of the great things that exploring kink has done for me is helped me to discuss and negotiate sexual activity. If you grow up watching sex in movies (both mainstream and porn) you get the impression that great sex just happens automatically. One minute the cynical private eye is trading witty barbs and smouldering looks with his femme fatale client, the next minute, just after she’s tried to slap him, they’re having amazing sex without so much as a yes, no or maybe. In reality experimentation, and the discussion that must go along with it, makes everything better. I’ve never yet had a mutual fantasy ruined by talking about it. I’ve had plenty of experiences where misunderstanding and a lack of communication definitely made things worse.

Gagged and Bound

Hopefully the gentleman in this image got all his discussion out of the way up front, as his current options look decidedly limited. The image is of course from Divine Bitches.

There’s an app for that

I’ve been meaning to write a highly critical post about the Good2Go app that Slate reviewed a few days ago. Fortunately, as is often the way, my laziness carefully calculated procrastination has paid off, with the Girl on the net doing the job for me. In a far more coherent way than I would have managed, she accurately points out that consent isn’t a simple contract approved with a one time rubber stamp. It certainly shouldn’t be a rubber stamp skewed towards ‘yes’ that gets recorded to some cloud database.

While this particular app is stupid, I’ve often thought there was a role for an app in managing BDSM activity lists. If you’ve not seen one of these before, take a look at this particular example. That gives 200 different activities, with 10 different interest level designators, checkboxes for what you’ve tried and top/bottom differentiation. What’s more it’s formatted to be printed out, so presumably the idea is you fill it out on paper and take it along to play parties. I’ve got to think that an app would be better than handing out flyers to everyone you meet in the dungeon. The app couldn’t negotiate the scene for you, but it could at least do a quick intersection of two different lists and highlight the overlap. Plus, you could update it on the fly and maintain switchable lists for different situations. We could call it the iHanky.

I’m not sure what the gentleman below put on his activity list, but I hope he put a 5 against ‘Getting injected into the urethra with a solution made from Tabasco sauce’.  Because judging by what the two ladies are holding, that’s what he’s about to enjoy.

InjectionThis image is from Baroness Essex, an English pro-domme based in East Anglia and London. It features the Baroness with her PA Katherine. I found it via the Bei Fuss tumblr.

Taut for twanging

This is a nice predicament bondage set-up. The straps on the table stretch him out and then the cords keep everything nice and taut. She looks like someone plucking at a musical instrument, so I’d guess that one of the cords just got twanged. I do know that if I was in this position Lydia would be unable to resist tickling the soles of my feet, leading to much jerking and tugging of delicate parts.

PredicamentThis is of course from Divine Bitches.

James Franco’s Kink

I’ve been waiting to watch the kink documentary for a while now. It first popped up back in 2013, but it seems Mr Franco is practicing a form of tease and denial, because it has been very hard to track down. There’s a new trailer out, which you can see in this recent article/interview on the film. Yet, despite a release date of August 22, I can’t seem to find a showtime anywhere for it. So while millions might be browsing kink.com‘s erotic material via tumblr everyday, the documentary remains more elusive than a helpful comment on youtube.

Claire Adams and EuroSex

The image is from the kink.com site Men in Pain. It features the brilliant Clarie Adams and the strangely named but equally great EuroSex.