The secrets of the penis

Bustle has just published a somewhat odd article – 8 Tips for Pleasuring Someone With A Penis, According To A Dominatrix. The 8 tips are fine. Just the kind of sex advice you expect in these Cosmo style articles. It’s the dominatrix bit that puzzles me. Aren’t they famous for doing very non-pleasurable things to dicks? And don’t they attract the kind of men whose idea of what’s pleasurable differs significantly from the average? It seems a bit like having an article titled ‘8 tips for caring for animals, according to a butcher.’

Obviously I’m not a dominatrix, but I do have a close and complex relationship with a penis that’s attached to a dominatrix visiting masochist. Personally, given the title, I might have expected 8 tips more like…

  1. Penises are tougher than you think, so feel free to slap them around pretty hard. They’re not going to fall off.
  2. Tie them up to keep them engorged with blood and easy to play with. Just make sure to periodically check no bits are getting too cold and at risk of dropping off.
  3. For maximum style points, consider using the helicopter move when its time to remove any cord. Imagine you’re starting a lawnmower with a pull cord, and aim to get the flappy bits spinning like a helicopter rotor.
  4. If you’re planning to clamp the balls in a vice, keep in mind some men are asymmetrically sized. You want to aim for a good even level of pain across the entire scrotum, not just on the one larger side.
  5. It’s fun to stick needles into the skin of a penis, but be careful not to nick a vein. If you do, you’ll get a big red swelling like a golf ball on the side of the dick, which’ll freak out both you and your penis owning friend.
  6. Randomly ruin the occasional orgasm to add an element of surprise to your lovemaking. Or ruin all of them and add an element of consistency.
  7. Nerves become numb to electricity overtime. So if you’re shocking the penis, remember to keep cranking up the power every few minutes.
  8. If he has an upcoming sexual encounter with a non-kinky partner, check before whipping the penis. He might find that black bruises and bloody whip marks on his shaft and head are hard to explain and dramatically reduce the odds of sexual intimacy with his alternate partner.

Obviously these aren’t based in any way at all on personal experience. Just some random thoughts that came to mind, totally out of the blue.

Here’s a technique that surprisingly didn’t get mentioned for pleasuring a penis. I don’t think that’s a classic boxing stance, or that she’s following the Marquess of Queensberry rules,  but I suspect it’ll be an effective approach. This is obviously from the Divine Bitches site.

The dominatrix from the original Bustle article is Lola Jean, who also bills herself as a sex educator and instructor. Those titles make much more sense in the context of the article.

Rage against the dying of the light

I must be getting old. In past years I could stack up play sessions over a short period without a problem. On this trip I’ve done three, and now feel like I need to trade my beaten up body in for an updated model. I’d love to think that’s because I’m doing more intense play, but frankly I think I’m not recovering as fast. Age may bring wisdom, but it also bring flab, aches and slow recovery. However, I’m not letting that slow me down, and will be playing again one final time before my flight home. While the body says no, the Id and Ego say ‘bring it on’.

I found this image on the Alternative Femdom tumblr.

The Self Sustaining Pain Reaction

My kink-tastic LA 2018 tour (fall edition) continues apace. Yesterday I was lucky enough to get to play with Mistress Damiana Chi. Flogging, whipping, heavy bondage and CBT all had their opportunity to feature in the proceedings. Also screams, yowls, groans and whimpers.

Mistress Damiana was kind enough to snap a few images of me mid-torment. This shows saran wrap bondage, with layers of rope added on top, all based on suspended bondage board. The design of the board is quite clever, as the ropes quickly snap into the eyelets on the side, making it relatively fast to rig. You can see another angle here, showing the legs are wrapped and immobilized separately. The bondage and the gentle swaying movement of the suspended board was quite relaxing, which is more than can be said for the CBT devices deployed.

The metal ring around the cock (show in this close-up) is a Kali’s teeth type device. I think the general idea is to prevent erections by creating pain as the cock swells. That’s clearly a flawed design when masochists get involved. Pain = Exciting = Engorging = Pain. It’s basically the self-sustaining fusion reaction scientists have been searching for all the years, just with the output being endless whimpering rather than clean energy. Fortunately, the spiked vice on the balls was uncomfortable enough to damp down the effect, and prevent a runaway reaction and a critical penis mass. Nobody wants to deal with that kind of fallout.

This photograph of Mistress Damiana Chi is from her site. You can also follow here on twitter here.

Penis in Peril

Yesterday’s post, featuring a penis in grave peril, reminded me of a story I heard from a domme many years ago. Like the previous video clip, it’s another one guaranteed to make most men wince. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

The domme in question was doing a ballbusting scene in heavy boots with a regular who liked to be kicked particularly hard. One kick, deep into the session, caught him awkwardly and actually split the skin at the base of his erect penis. Then, to use her words, ‘the skin sort of rolled up’. She was obviously concerned, given that blood was going everywhere. Unfortunately, the guy also had a serious castration fantasy. So rather than freaking out, he was turned on even more, which isn’t a happy state of affairs when your erection has sprung a leak. Things were messy. Eventually she persuaded him that continuing was probably a bad plan, and got him to head to ER to get patched up. I’d imagine that his sex life for the following weeks was rather limited, assuming he didn’t want to pop a stitch.

I’m not sure there’s any moral to this story, other than that horniness typically has an inverse correlation with good decision making. But I think we all knew that already.

This lady seems to have a pretty good kicking action going. It’s just a shame the guy was so keen to get into the kicking fun that he didn’t have time to take his socks off. Although if they have to rush to ER, that’ll save him some time getting dressed. This is obviously from the Female Dom site.

Stomp

Continuing on the theme of cock torture, here’s a nice vintage shot that’s old school in every sense of the word. You don’t need needles and fancy electrical devices. Just a high heel applied with sufficient force at the critical point.

While her shoes are clearly a necessary part of the scene, I’m not so sure about his. Did he take his trousers and pants off over his shoes? Or did he put his shoes back on after removing his trousers? That puzzle aside, it’s a fun image that comes courtesy of mrunderheel.

False Advertising

Bacchus, over at ErosBlog, has been quite rightly mocking a porn shoot that promises a cock being disciplined with the following lines…

I am going to be disciplining Rob Piper’s humongous black cock. You know where I’m gonna start? With that big black cock up my ass! I can’t wait to take that cock in all my holes.

I’m sure Mr Piper’s cock is just going to hate that. It’ll probably get all big, angry and throbbing after being disciplined in such a terrible way.

Of course, while this is a particularly egregious example, a lot of BDSM play exhibits a touch of this. It’s briar patch syndrome – Oh please don’t dress up in that sexy outfit and gently whip me (not too hard!) with that soft leather flogger. It’d be terribly cruel if you were to use that strap-on and – down a bit, no not there, careful, oh yes, oh yes! – brutally penetrate my helpless body with it.

In reality, a close-up of a disciplined cock isn’t all that sexy. For example, Mistress Tess tortured mine a few weeks back. Needles and electricity were involved. We shot a picture, but only look here if you’re OK with genital piercing pictures. I had a lot of fun, but I’ll be the first to admit it’s not the kind of close-up image that’ll sell a lot of porn subscriptions. The shot below is a bit more visually appealing while at least having a slightly more believable cock discipline theme. I bet it’s loving it really though.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image.

Trust the Pros

I’ve always maintained that there’s no shame in putting yourself in the hands of trained medical professionals if a scene has gone badly wrong. Any nurse or doctor with a few years experience will have seen all manner of crazy things, and yours will just be another nights work for them.

In light of this article, I guess I should also add firefighters to the list of trusted professionals. At least in Germany that is, as they receive training in how to remove cock rings and butt plugs that have become rather too tightly attached. Amazingly you can cut off a cock ring using an angle grinder, as long as the cock in question has been treated with bandages and heat resistant paste. That’d certainly count as edge play, particularly given it’s a no safeword scene.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image. Hopefully all these toys were safely removed without a call to the emergency services.

Pain and Pleasure in the Windy City

My vacation got off to a fantastic start playing with Mistress Mara Mayhem. Whimpering, grunting, growling and snarling were all featured at some point. Possibly I also moaned, but only in a satisfied ‘hit me again’ type way.

I find there’s a really interesting tipping point in corporal play,  and reaching it is very dependent on the skill of the domme. If the escalation is too rapid or the intensity changes too erratic then the stress of the situation overwhelms the other emotions. It becomes very hard to zone out and relax into more intense sensations when you’re constantly on edge about what’s about to happen. On the other hand is the escalation is smooth and well judged it’s much easier to let the endorphins take over. It’s the difference between pain alone and pain as part of the dynamic between me and the domme. Too much too early is actually counter-productive in terms of building to a satisfying level of shared intensity. Needless to say Mistress Mara judged it perfectly in this session.

Of course we didn’t just indulge in corporal. There was also a fair amount of CBT involved as shown in this dick pic snap. As is usual, the removal of the various clips and clamps hurt a lot more than the initial application. Fortunately Mistress Mara ensured I was well hydrated for the session – in all sorts of different ways.

This was shot by Mistress Mara either just before or just after our session and featured on her twitter feed.

How will I explain this?

There’s one thought I regularly have when doing a particularly unusual or extreme activity. It’s not about how much it’ll hurt or if I’ll be able to handle the pain or not. The thought is – ‘If this goes wrong, how am I going to explain it to an ER nurse?’

It’s not stuff like bondage or whipping that triggers this thought. I figure BDSM has penetrated mainstream culture to the point where regular kinky activities will be par for the course in ER. It’s when things like electrified urethral sounds and needles through the scrotum come into the picture that I envision nurses reaching for the emergency straitjacket and number of the hospital psychiatrist.

When I was last down in LA I did a scene with Cynthia Stone where she sutured the inside of my mouth and ran surgical thread between the insides of my cheeks. There was even a shot of it on her twitter feed. Should the worst have happened, I wonder how an ER nurse would have reacted ? She spends all day stitching up people who have injured themselves in accidents, and then gets stuck with this muppet who has injured himself purposefully stitching up a healthy body part.

There’s no watermark on this, but I’d guess it’s from one of the kink.com sites.

Apologies and Shoutout

Apologies for the lack of regular posting recently. There’s a bunch of topics I want to write about, but my back has been screwed up, which precludes me sitting at a computer for lengthy periods. It’s kind of funny (although not in a ha-ha way) that I can actually trace my back issues to a specific play session back in 2011. At the time I though I’d just strained some muscles. It turns out that thanks to a couple of decades hunched over keyboards, I’d managed to screw a couple of my lower discs up, and that session was the one that pushed them over the edge. It really hasn’t been the same since that night. Who’d have though that having hot sauce smeared on your genitals would lead to chronic back issues? The human body is a truly wonderful thing.

If you’re in your 20’s or 30’s and spend a lot of time sitting at a desk, I’d strongly urge you to take regular breaks, exercise whenever possible and consider taking up yoga. Although if you’re anything like me at that age, you probably think it’ll never happen to you, so I’m  wasting my time giving advice here.

Changing the subject entirely – if you’re in LA from the 23rd to the 25th, let me point you in the direction of Lady Hinako. I’ve featured her work in the past (here and here) and she’s visiting LA from Japan on those particular dates. Lady Chiaki (previously featured here) will also be in LA at the same time. If I hadn’t been in LA just a couple of weeks ago, I’d be considering a trip down in order to play with these talented dommes. As I type this, they still have time slots available to play.

Both these images are from Lady Hinako’s twitter feed.