Intensity (or not)

My random thought of the day: Intensity of play is entirely situational. It depends on the chemistry you feel in the moment, your emotional state beforehand, the stress in your daily life and countless other factors. It’s fine to ask for a lighter scene or to bail out of an intense scene. It’s fine to play hard with one person but lightly with another. It’s fine to change limits from scene to scene.

I used to think of kink as a one way street. If I achieved a certain level of intensity with a domme, I couldn’t pull back from there. And if I did some activity with one domme, then obviously I should be able to do that with all dommes. It was a bit like a videogame where I was unlocking achievements. Once you’ve got the heavy whipping badge, then obviously heavy whipping should always be a possibility in all future scenes.

These days I’m older and wiser. There is no grand council of dommes collecting scene reports and making sure nobody ever backslides on their level of play. I’d much rather evolve my play slowly and organically with a new domme than immediately race towards my limits as fast as possible. And if I’m feeling stressed or not in a good masochistic headspace, I’m also now fine asking for a lighter scene that I can relax into. It turns out that you don’t get into trouble for not always playing on the edge of what’s possible.

Talking of intensity – here’s a pretty heavy caning scene. Not sure where this originates from sadly.

Bye Bye Tumblr

I’m sure most readers will have seen the news that tumblr is going to ban porn from December 17th. It’s depressing but, after their acquisition by Yahoo and then Verizon, not entirely surprising. I’ve written about the challenges of dealing with adult content in corporate environments in the past. As a relatively small independent platform with a history of being friendly to porn, tumblr would never have wanted to decimate its user base like this. For Verizon, its a case of cutting a fraction of users of one product in one division. The risk/reward calculation for them looks very different. Of course, that doesn’t make it any less a shitty and horrible thing to do to a community.

As Bacchus at ErosBlog has been pointing out for over a decade now, if you don’t own your domain and do your own hosting, you’re always going to be at risk of being screwed over by your platform of choice. Sadly that’s not really an answer for the average tumblr user. I’m lucky in having the time and resources needed to run a site like this one, but it’s definitely a non-trivial investment. The average tumblr user, who wants to post some hot photos and share some thoughts, isn’t going to want to spend an hour with tech support trying to figure out why his database has crashed and why /dev/dva1 has run out of space (as I did over the weekend).

Unfortunately, I don’t really know of a valid alternative that I can point people at. There are other platforms for sharing adult content (like imagefap and various tube/hub sites), but they tend to have horrible UI, dodgy advertising practices, poor community tools and a terrible attitude  to content creators. If I had VC level money, I’d be treating this as an opportunity to create a new platform and fill a sudden gap in the market. As it is, I can only keep my eye open for somebody else doing that.

In the meantime, there are tools for archiving your favorite tumblrs. Bacchus has a post on one approach. I’ve had some luck using TumblrThree, although it’s not exactly a polished UI. There are also people working on more broadly archiving tumblr content for posterity. If anyone else has either suggestions for archiving content or for good places to move it to, feel free to leave a comment here. I’ll share updates and suggestions as the situation evolves.

My own image page is packed with tumblr links, so it looks like I’ll need to delete most of those next week. This particular image is via 11dutch tumblr. I believe that is Mistress Baton.

Strict Brita

I’ve posted in the past about my liking for images that are modified to scratch people’s specific kinky itches. Not so much for the images themselves, but for what it says about the variety of human desire and the endless drive to feed it.

This image is another case in point. It’s a particularly well done modification I think. The original is from 1910, by Carl Larsson and called ‘Brita in the drawing room‘.  Obviously somebody triggered off the school ma’am look of Brita and decided to add a cane to the image. I didn’t actually realize it had been modified initially, and thought I’d stumbled up on an interesting new fetish artist. In hindsight, the contrast between her expression and the rest of her ensemble should have tipped me off.

 

Holiday Indulgence

I was going to try and argue that this was a continuation of the schoolgirl theme from my previous post. But really it’s just me indulging myself in a hot shot from Mistress Iris in a roleplay with @momoemu. I love their long dark hair and the neat formal outfits. At a time of year associated with indulging in sweets and excessive calories, this is my own personal holiday eye candy.

The Pleasure of Play

I was surprised to see a very well known domme state (on twitter) how much she hated the term ‘play’ when it related to kink and femdom. It’s a term I never used in my early days of kinky exploration – because that was such super serious stuff – but it’s one I’ve come to use and like a lot.

I should say out of the gate that of course femdom can be more than just play. It can be a major part of a relationship, a 24×7 dynamic, a way to modify behavior, an ethos, etc. But let’s face reality. The majority of lifestyle femdom activity and almost all of professional femdom activity is a form of play (from the client perspective). And that’s absolutely not a bad thing.

The Oxford English dictionary defines play as – “Engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.” I think most people’s lives are full of serious and practical activities. Going to work, maintaining a house, caring for a family, paying bills – these are all serious and practical activities. Don’t we deserve a break to enjoy some recreation? And what could be more recreational than pulling on fun outfits, tying people up, teasing their erogenous zones or blowing their minds with intense sensations? There’s a reason pro-dommes use sensual, sadistic and playful to describe possible session dynamics and not words like serious, practical and sensible.

I don’t have a problem with someone wanting to get more out of a femdom dynamic than kinky fun times. I love reading about couples that have taken it beyond that level. But given a world serious lacking in fun, and a culture that has some seriously messed up views on sex and kink, why be against the idea of kink as play? Admittedly, sometimes it can be intense, crazy and freaky, but that doesn’t mean it’s not play.

Here’s a somewhat literal representation of play and femdom. This is from Underling.

Skool Daze

Servitor was taking me to task for the spelling in the title of my previous post. In my defense, while memento might be the standard spelling, there is a wiktionary definition page for momento. And, as we all know, any page on a site beginning with ‘wiki’ is always 100% reliable. I actually like the idea of a momento being a memento of a moment but, if I’m honest, it was more a typo than anything else.

He suggests writing lines in a classroom scene would be a suitable punishment. I’ve nothing against a classroom scene, but writing lines sounds awfully boring. I’d rather take 6 of the best. Or maybe 12. Perhaps even 18? I’d be willing to misspell more things in future if necessary. In fact, given my proofreading abilities, that’s one thing I can guarantee.

Marks and a Smile

I like this image for his sexy marks, her lovely smile and that none fetish dress. It’s nice to see a caning scene with a cute outfit that’s not supposed to be a teacher or a governess role play. Sometimes a good caning can just be a good caning, no fancy scenario required. I’m less keen on the kitchen setting. I’m not sure naked dangling genitals and food prep areas should ever coincide.

This is of course Mistress Ella Kross.

A job well done

Somebody here looks pretty pleased with themselves. There’s a nice contrast between her perky cheerful pose and his well welted ass. I’m guessing his expression would be slightly less cheerful.

Looking Pleased With HerselfI’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this. Feel free to help me out via the comments section.

Updated: Thanks to my ever vigilant readers I can now attribute this as Cassie Hunter aka The Hunteress. She’s an English pro-domme who appears to have retired just in the last month.

Forceful ropework

Continuing on from the last post, this is another F/m rope bondage scene, but has a very different dynamic. This is less about tender and more about control and pain. It’s still sexy as hell though. I think it’s the hand to the back of the neck that does it for me. She doesn’t just want him tied up, she wants him exactly in the position she demands.

HandToNeckI found this on the ‘Please Take My Control’ tumblr. I’m afraid I haven’t managed to track down an original attribution. If anyone can help with that then please leave a comment.

More from the Brits

Kind of ironic that after my last post entitled ‘Stupidity in the UK – now slightly reduced‘, the country just voted to leave the EU. I’ll avoid going into the politics, and try not to alienate 50% of my UK readers, but I can’t say I’m a fan of that result. My opinion doesn’t really count for much however, as I’ve been away too long to have been able to vote.

I’ll mark the moment with a quintessentially British femdom scene. This is an older man dressed as a public schoolboy, enjoying the English Vice, being administered by the strict English mistress Domina Liza for the English Mansion site. Feel free to imagine him as David Cameron or Boris Johnson (depending on which side you were) if it’ll help you deal with the result.

EnglishVice