The Pleasure of Play

I was surprised to see a very well known domme state (on twitter) how much she hated the term ‘play’ when it related to kink and femdom. It’s a term I never used in my early days of kinky exploration – because that was such super serious stuff – but it’s one I’ve come to use and like a lot.

I should say out of the gate that of course femdom can be more than just play. It can be a major part of a relationship, a 24×7 dynamic, a way to modify behavior, an ethos, etc. But let’s face reality. The majority of lifestyle femdom activity and almost all of professional femdom activity is a form of play (from the client perspective). And that’s absolutely not a bad thing.

The Oxford English dictionary defines play as – “Engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.” I think most people’s lives are full of serious and practical activities. Going to work, maintaining a house, caring for a family, paying bills – these are all serious and practical activities. Don’t we deserve a break to enjoy some recreation? And what could be more recreational than pulling on fun outfits, tying people up, teasing their erogenous zones or blowing their minds with intense sensations? There’s a reason pro-dommes use sensual, sadistic and playful to describe possible session dynamics and not words like serious, practical and sensible.

I don’t have a problem with someone wanting to get more out of a femdom dynamic than kinky fun times. I love reading about couples that have taken it beyond that level. But given a world serious lacking in fun, and a culture that has some seriously messed up views on sex and kink, why be against the idea of kink as play? Admittedly, sometimes it can be intense, crazy and freaky, but that doesn’t mean it’s not play.

Here’s a somewhat literal representation of play and femdom. This is from Underling.

Skool Daze

Servitor was taking me to task for the spelling in the title of my previous post. In my defense, while memento might be the standard spelling, there is a wiktionary definition page for momento. And, as we all know, any page on a site beginning with ‘wiki’ is always 100% reliable. I actually like the idea of a momento being a memento of a moment but, if I’m honest, it was more a typo than anything else.

He suggests writing lines in a classroom scene would be a suitable punishment. I’ve nothing against a classroom scene, but writing lines sounds awfully boring. I’d rather take 6 of the best. Or maybe 12. Perhaps even 18? I’d be willing to misspell more things in future if necessary. In fact, given my proofreading abilities, that’s one thing I can guarantee.

Marks and a Smile

I like this image for his sexy marks, her lovely smile and that none fetish dress. It’s nice to see a caning scene with a cute outfit that’s not supposed to be a teacher or a governess role play. Sometimes a good caning can just be a good caning, no fancy scenario required. I’m less keen on the kitchen setting. I’m not sure naked dangling genitals and food prep areas should ever coincide.

This is of course Mistress Ella Kross.

A job well done

Somebody here looks pretty pleased with themselves. There’s a nice contrast between her perky cheerful pose and his well welted ass. I’m guessing his expression would be slightly less cheerful.

Looking Pleased With HerselfI’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this. Feel free to help me out via the comments section.

Updated: Thanks to my ever vigilant readers I can now attribute this as Cassie Hunter aka The Hunteress. She’s an English pro-domme who appears to have retired just in the last month.

Forceful ropework

Continuing on from the last post, this is another F/m rope bondage scene, but has a very different dynamic. This is less about tender and more about control and pain. It’s still sexy as hell though. I think it’s the hand to the back of the neck that does it for me. She doesn’t just want him tied up, she wants him exactly in the position she demands.

HandToNeckI found this on the ‘Please Take My Control’ tumblr. I’m afraid I haven’t managed to track down an original attribution. If anyone can help with that then please leave a comment.

More from the Brits

Kind of ironic that after my last post entitled ‘Stupidity in the UK – now slightly reduced‘, the country just voted to leave the EU. I’ll avoid going into the politics, and try not to alienate 50% of my UK readers, but I can’t say I’m a fan of that result. My opinion doesn’t really count for much however, as I’ve been away too long to have been able to vote.

I’ll mark the moment with a quintessentially British femdom scene. This is an older man dressed as a public schoolboy, enjoying the English Vice, being administered by the strict English mistress Domina Liza for the English Mansion site. Feel free to imagine him as David Cameron or Boris Johnson (depending on which side you were) if it’ll help you deal with the result.

EnglishVice

Double standards

I cast a pretty wide net when it comes to articles I feature here. I’m not averse to featuring something that’s interesting but with only a loose connection to femdom. This one, entitled ‘The insane double standard for women working in tech‘ is a good case in point.

It highlights a study that found that in performance reviews men get assessed on their actions, where women get assessed on their personality. In 83 reviews of men, just 2 highlighted personality issues, where out of 94 for women, an amazing 71 did. As you might expect, the personality issues highlighted for women were all the usual ones about tone: You’re too pushy, too aggressive, too abrasive. The kind of characteristics that countless men in the workplace display every day of their lives without issue.

I’m not going to try and equate being an effective and forceful worker with dominance. That would be foolish. Sexual preferences are very different to work attitudes, and the goal here is equality of treatment, not the right D/s label. But I think it’s an interesting example of the broader cultural perceptions at work. Society is comfortable with the classic dominatrix trope, as it’s typically perceived as a sexual roleplay targeted for the benefit of men. Yet put a forceful opinionated women in a software company, along with a 100 forceful opinionated guys, and then suddenly people have a problem.

WorkplaceI realize with this image I’m not really helping and I’m continuing to play into the dominatrix trope. Unfortunately, on the tumblrs I frequent, it’s tricky to find a shot of a sensibly dressed female software developer making a solid argument for the design of her database schema. So sexy dominatrix boss it has to be.

Saint Clamps of the Nipple

This puts me in mind of religious imagery. Not the woman obviously. Religions have never been big on women in corsets wielding canes. Or women of any description really. But his posture has a touch of the martyred Saint about it. The supplicant pose, the straining muscles and the rictus of agony are all very familiar from religious paintings. Sadly, while the renaissance artists got up to all sorts of sexual shenanigans, I don’t recall nipple clamps featuring anywhere in their work.

Nipple clamps and the Cane

It’s originally from a Men in Pain series. I found it on the I Own his Key tumblr.

QOTD

Given the length of the last few posts, I’ll keep this one short and pithy. The quote of the day is:

Anyone who thinks a woman who’s being paid to cane and sodomize people is vulnerable and exploited? Has never caned and sodomized anyone.

That’s from the twitter feed of Mistress Matisse. Feel free to discuss that amongst yourselves.

I was hoping to finish with an image featuring both a cane and a strap-on. Unfortunately I couldn’t find anything I liked, so I’ll double down with an image for each. In both cases the ladies in question seem to be tending less to the exploited and more to the happy.

A smile and a cane
A smile and sodomy

The first image has had the watermark annoyingly chopped, but I believe it’s from Young Dommes. I found it on the Who’s Sorry Now tumblr. The second image is from the Strapon Dreamer site. I found it on the Pegging with a Smile tumblr.

Me not think too good

It has been a long day. I did an intense and very enjoyable session with Cynthia Stone on the afternoon and followed it with an excellent dinner at Spago. I’m certainly not complaining, but my ability to write coherent and witty posts may have been curtailed. Not that there was ever a great potential there to start with.

While I attempt to sleep off this cocktail of adrenalin, endorphins and alcohol, I’ll leave you with a shot I found on the wonderfully named Food, Fucking and Femdom tumblr. That’s pretty much my favorite three things in life. In this particular case I love the blurred cane and the well marked ass.

Caning