Watch out for splinters

It’s odd how often derelict and abandoned buildings show up in the more artistic BDSM shots. I really can’t imagine a worse place for a scene. Damp and decaying wood. Cold breezes. Rusty nails and broken glass. Vermin. Dangerous footing and no sturdy anchor points. It’s pretty much the definition of a bad place to get naked and tie people up. But it does look cool, which is no doubt the motivating factor.

This is my third and, for the moment, final Femdom/Femsub post. While the backdrop might be interesting but impractical, I do like the top’s outfit. It’s not exactly standard domme wear, but it is sexy and does fit the scene. This is also a nice image to spin a story around. Is she in the process of rescuing the tied up woman? Or is she about to kiss her and abandon her?

Sister Dee and Luna Vary

You can find out more about the image here. It was shot by Joseph W Carey. The domme is Sister Dee from Top Grl and the submissive is Luna Vary. I originally encountered it on the Beauty of Submission tumblr.

Underlying motives

I occasionally enjoy reading anti-porn and anti-sex work blogs. Although enjoy is probably not the right word. I find it cathartic to get annoyed and swear at my monitor now and again. Possibly this is related to my masochistic tendencies. It also helps me to a better understanding of the motives of the people behind them.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to worry about what happens when sex and money collide. Sex is a powerful motive force and undoubtedly bad things can and sometimes do happen when  it combines with capitalism. I also don’t think it’s unreasonable to worry about how sex is represented in popular culture. However, whenever I go and read the work of these activists (like Gail Dines or Melissa Farley) it’s pretty clear they don’t care about these things. If they did they’d do proper research, provide solid data, talk to a wide range of the participants and present nuanced arguments that capture the inherent complexity of the issue. Instead they provide garbage fact sheets and arguments that dissolve like tissue paper when people such as Brooke Magnanti so much as glance at them.

What these people really want is control over others. And not the good sort of control that involves rope, blindfolds and safewords. They want to control how people live and how they think. I was reminded of this fact when I came across an article by Gail Dines on the new James Franco Kink movie. Unsurprisingly she’s not a fan, but the part that really caught my eye was…

The usual defense of Kink.com is that the women signed a contract and hence agreed to the acts. But as attorney Wendy Murphy of the New England School of Law argues, “torture doctrine is not hampered by concerns about consent because, as a matter of law and policy, one cannot consent to torture.” And anyway, what does meaningful and informed consent mean to the women subjected to these degrading and painful tortures, which are designed to break the body and the spirit?
Gail Dines in counterpunch

She’s not arguing that this material shouldn’t be filmed and distributed. She’s arguing that the very idea of consent in BDSM is meaningless. She emphasizes this opinion by repeatedly conflating the awful non-consensual tortures performed on prisoners at places like Abu Graib with what people consent to do for Kink.com. In her world not just porn would be banned, but BDSM itself would be outlawed by government mandate. The underlying motive here is not to help sex workers or target the issues the commercialization of sex creates. It’s to control how everyone behaves.

Kiss

I’ll leave you with an image of the kind of activity that obviously should be illegal. That poor man can’t possibly be in his right mind to consent to such inhumane treatment. Although I guess it’s possible that he’s taking advantage of her and she therefore shouldn’t be allowed to be exploited like this. Either way, the evil pornographers taking advantage of these poor helpless people is the Captive Male site.

The least visible group in porn?

As regular readers might guess, I spend a fair amount of time hanging around tumblrs. I only feature femdom material here, but I can find material that pushes my buttons across a wide range of kinky activities and gender combinations. Hence my tumblr browsing is broad. One thing I found fascinating is looking at how different kinky groups typically skew their selection of material. Obviously my observations are entirely anecdotal and completely unscientific but what the hell. This is a blog, not a peer reviewed paper for Nature (although somebody should write one of those).

As you’d expect, lots of straight male submissives feature dominant women in exotic undergarment, with the occasional naked man as just a prop in the scene. They also have a smattering of what I’d call action shots. i.e. Images that catch a more complex D/s interaction. Essentially they post what they desire (the dominant woman) and, to a lesser extent, the interaction they wish to experience.

Straight female dominants also tend to post what they desire, buff naked submissive men, together with action shots. But the ratio is different to what submissive guys post. As a SWAG (Stupid Wild Ass Guess) I’d say it’s more like 50/50 compared to 80/20. There’s a clear preference towards more complex interactions and connections over eye candy.

Straight male dominants are heavily focused on their object of desire – naked bound women. The vast majority of shots are either of sole females or of disembodied males interacting with females. There might be an appendage in the shot, or a hand, or a whip, but almost all of the material is designed to let the viewer imagine himself as the dominant. It’s rare to see intense emotional connection in the images.

The most interesting one I find is the straight female submissive. Following the pattern above you’d expect them to post a mixture of Mf action shots and images of hot male dominants. And yet from my observation there’s a very heavy skew to posting shots of female submission. They might post more action shots than male dominants, but they rarely seem to post images of buff male dominants. Uniquely amongst these four groups they seem to post what they’d like to experience or who they’d like to be, rather than what the type of person they desire.

The only conclusion I can draw from this is that male dominants are the least visible group in BDSM pornography. That’s a conclusion that should raise a few hackles given the ubiquity of the Mf dynamic in culture and porn.

Admiring Her Work

The image is of Claire Adams from Men In Pain. I found it on the ‘my Wife, my Goddess‘ tumblr. It represents the kind of shot I personally enjoy the most.

Guilt+Force=?

This is continuation of yesterday’s post on ‘force’ based scenes, originally triggered by this post by Stabbity. Reading those first will probably help this make more sense.

Force in a BDSM scene can undoubtedly be very hot. For one thing it suggests passion and emotion. As a submissive being on the receiving end of that is energizing. It’s hard to be forceful towards something you’re indifferent about. Force in a scene also brings in ideas of objectification and control. A lot of BDSM toys are about removing some element of control, whether that’s over motion, speech, sight or sphincter muscles. Force can be a further extension of that, removing the ability to control consent, albeit in a consensual non-consent kind of way.

I get all those aspects of force in a scene. The one associated aspect that does puzzle me is the idea of removing or shifting guilt. This came up in the comments to Stabbity’s post.

I also feel that the use of force enables a sub who is ashamed of a certain desire to experience it without guilt. I see it most frequently in regard to forced bi scenarios. The sub wants it but doesn’t want to admit (either to others or to himself) that he wants it. So by passing off the responsibility to the dom, he’s essentially free to indulge without worry.  – roo-roo

This is a view I’ve seen expressed many times in the past, and I have to say I don’t get it. And I mean that in the ‘I personally don’t understand’ way, not in the ‘it’s wrong’ way. Can guilt be really shifted so easily? Mixing the complex emotions of a forced BDSM scene to a genuine sense of guilt sounds like a combustible emotional mix. If a traumatic childhood experience with a Salvation Army lady had left me with fetish for stealing from charity collection boxes, I’d (hopefully) feel very guilty about that. Would dragging a domme into my coin pilfering schemes make me feel any better? Can guilt be shared or even shifted like that? It seems such a reductive view of an emotion. Perhaps it depends on someone’s ability to compartmentalize and buy into their own stories and fantasies. Maybe if I roleplayed in scenes I’d understand this better.

As I said, it’s not an unusual or uncommon view on force in scenes, but it does leave me scratching my head. Perhaps the fact I’m not an emotional masochist may have something to do with that. While I ponder that, I’ll leave you with another fun piece of artwork, this by Kami Tora. Not quite as overtly physical as the Stanton drawings from yesterday, but it does have some nice hair pulling and forceful pegging.

Kami Tora forced pegging scene

That’s just not cricket

This series of images makes me smile for it’s cartoon like progression. The four shot sequence reminds me of an old photo booth filmstrip. However, I certainly wouldn’t recommend trying to reproduce it. Falling backwards like that onto your hands and arms like that would not be good. I think this is also the first time I’ve ever seen a cricket bat used in a BDSM shot. As implements go it’s probably a little heavy to use effectively, but it’s certainly fearsome.

The female model is Lorelei and the photographer is Titus Powell. As you’d expect given the sporting equipment, they’re both UK based.

Any publicity is good publicity?

The kink company has been in the news recently. They’re a very high profile producer of BDSM porn, so anything that happens to them tends to reflect on the wider community.

On the plus side there’s a James Franco documentary coming out about the company that apparently paints them and BDSM in a very positive light. It’s getting some good mainstream coverage, although the Hollywood Reporter writer appears to be unable to review it on its merits without lapsing into offensive speculation about who might watch such material. I haven’t noticed similar speculation being attached to reviews of thrillers or horror movies where people are shot, knifed and strangled for the enjoyment of the audience.

On the negative side there has been a lot of coverage of founder Peter Acworth’s recent arrest for possession of cocaine. The drugs issue isn’t one that bothers me, but some of the follow-up stories have presented a more complex and troubling picture of the company. The SF Weekly had a lengthy article on the company that was less than positive, and Maggie Mayhem put up a long post that detailed some significant issues she has with the kink workplace culture.

I’ve zero personal experience of the company, so I can only provide links to others with better information. I think it’s undoubtedly true that the company has improved the overall quality of BDSM porn. However, I think as an ethical porn consumer it’s always important to know more about exactly who is producing the images and videos we’re watching.

Two Smiles

This image is from the kink site Divine Bitches. I found it on the Girls Rule, Subs Drool tumblr.

A game for two or more

It’s hard to overemphasize the importance of not leaving a bound person unattended. Should you ever be tempted to do so, I’d suggest you keep in mind the story of the Montreal guy who popped out for groceries while his submissive was tied up by her collar. While he was figuring out what to have for dinner, she died of asphyxiation. He tried to claim it was an accident but, quite rightly in my view, was found guilty of criminal negligence.

While I’m all for maximizing safety, I found part of the first linked article a little surprising.

…put safety first, which means buying the right equipment that has release devices allowing subs to free themselves from bondage and similar confinement situations. In other words, subs must always be able to effortlessly free themselves because, for example, a domme/dom could be standing two feet away and suffer a heart attack or something.

I’ve been on the receiving end of a lot of bondage and I can’t think of anytime I’ve been in quick release devices. I get the need when you’re playing with someone you’re not too familiar with, but for normal play in an established relationship? Being able to effortless free myself would seem to miss the point somewhat.

It’s true that a heart attack for the domme would present a problem for me. But so would a heart attack for the guy doing 70 mph on the freeway behind me tomorrow morning. Or come to that, a heart attack all of my own. Or getting randomly shot in a bar. Or deliberately shot in a bar for that matter. Not every American takes kindly to my drunken theories on the innate superiority of British music and comedy. Life is full of risks.

Only using quick release cuffs would also seem to rule out rope bondage. That would be a great shame as it can be very beautiful.

Bondage is not a crime

Bondage is not a crime

Both of these images are from the bondage is not a crime tumblr. You can see a couple of other shots from the same sequences here and here.

Phrases of dread

There are any number of ominous phrases that I dread to hear. For example – “I’m not racist, but…” You can guarantee that something horribly racist always follows that. Another ominous one is – “We need to talk.” In my experience, nothing enjoyable or pleasant has ever followed that statement. “Please don’t be angry” is also a sign that happy fun times are not ahead. But perhaps the scariest one of all is – “For the sake of the children.” This phrase is a clear indication that provable harm to adults is about to be done in an effort to avoid nebulous and ill-defined harm to theoretical children.

The latest example of this comes from the beautiful country of Iceland. According to this and this article in the British press they’re thinking of banning online pornography to protect their children. The articles are full of weasel words and unsupported claims, with the usual suspects (such as the reliably overwrought Gail Dines) bringing along their axes to grind. The headlines would lead you to think they’re just targeting violent porn, which would be bad enough. However, in a nice bit of double-speak, it appears they’re defining all pornography as violent, so they get to ban it all.

I could pull any number of quotes out of the articles to mock, but I think my favorite was – “A strong consensus has been building, with people agreeing that something has to be done.” Which reminds me of the old expression: Something has to be done. This is something. Therefore, we have to do this.

I’m not sure how big the BDSM scene is in Iceland. I do know there are least a couple of pro-dommes there (Mistress Freyja and Mistress Dont U Dare). Last month I had around 700 page views from Iceland, which might only be 0.1% of the US total, but still indicates a non-trivial number of readers. So for all my Icelandic readers, I’ll share some horribly violent pornography with you before my site gets banned. I hope this doesn’t send your children off on a murderous rampage.

Romance by Reraizure
The obviously obscene and dangerous image is called Romance and is by Reraizure (free deviant art login required).

The importance of posture

I sessioned with Lydia tonight, so right now I’m feeling very happy and buzzed. Many photographs were snapped, so hopefully I can share in a forthcoming post. Although I still need to publish some of the photographs I grabbed with Ms Troy Orleans last week. As problems go, excessive kinky imagery to sort through is not a bad one to have.

In the meantime, let me highlight a particular porn bugbear of mine: Awkward postures for dommes. The D/s dynamic suggests that a scene should always be focused around what the dominant wants. So anytime I see a dominant looking uncomfortable or in a non-ideal posture for them, it screws with any fantasy I might want to create around an image. It suggests the cameraman or the submissive is in charge and the dominant is subordinate to them.

Take the two images below. I kind of like the head in a box idea. I’ve got to think it’d be a real mindfuck to have you head isolated and immobile in that way. But her position looks so awkward. On tiptoes right at the edge of a table isn’t a great place to be. Not to mention the muscle effort needed to ride him from that kind of posture. In contrast the second image, while less visually dynamic, looks a far more reasonable position. I can enjoy that picture without some annoying bit of my brain niggling me with “That looks uncomfortable. Why would she do it like that? Does she not have a cushion to use?”

Divine Bitches shot
Comfortable
I found these images on Lash Kisser and X Ray Ted respectively. I believe the first is from Divine Bitches and the second from Men Are Slaves.