Tag: Anal

Awards season

As part of writing this post on the Adult Video News (AVN) awards, I took a look at what had won this year. The general idea of giving awards to specific movies strikes me as an anachronism. Who buys porn DVDs these days? However, I figured the specific performers and genres recognized might be interesting. I was very surprised to discover how little attention BDSM and fetish got. There were just three awards that looked vaguely relevant – Best BDSM release, best femdom strap-on release and best foot/leg fetish release. This is out of a total of more than 100 other awards.

I’ve no idea if the titles that won were actually any good. Rubber Bordello looks like it might be fun, the other two (His Booty Is My Duty 2 and Asphyxia Heels The World) look like average porn movies with just passing nods to their supposed audience. But regardless of the selections, I was shocked there was so little recognition of BDSM. They didn’t even distinguish between maledom and femdom. There are no awards for top performing domme, or best submissive, or best rigger, or really anything interesting. What a missed opportunity.

I actually attended the awards ceremony back in 2003. I can’t say I recommend the experience. It’s fun to dress up and walk the red carpet, but the awards themselves are very dull. Amazingly, they’re not allowed to actually show explicit clips, so you end up with a lot of thank you speeches accompanied by Cinemax style edited soft porn. Getting to see Larry Flynt give the hall of fame speech and sitting next to Rocco Siffredi in the bar afterwards were the highlights. Of course if you do it with someone like Mistress T then you might be in for a slightly more exciting time (Updated: You can see Mistress T & friends in her latest AVN experiences here).

Kink is one of the biggest BDSM producers these days, but the only thing they won for was ‘Best Alternative Website’, whatever that means. I’ll leave you with a shot from their Divine Bitches site featuring Maitresse Madeline getting alternative on Robert Axel’s ass.

Maitress Madeline and Robert Axel

The anus is unremarkable

In the comments to yesterday’s post I was reminded of the story of Reverend Gary Aldridge by Miss Margo. It’s another story of self-bondage by a man of God, although with a slightly unhappier ending. Rather than handcuffs, the pastor employed a couple of wetsuits, rubberized underwear, a leather belt and a face and head mask. He complemented this with a dildo in the anus and a hog tie plus ligature combination. Self-bondage is a risky activity at the best of times. Coupling it with autoerotic asphyxiation and a diving suit (or two) and you’re looking at the person voted most likely to be found dead in a horribly embarrassing situation.

I’m certainly not someone who’d critique the Reverend on his kink of choice. I just spent an evening wrapped in much leather with an electrified plug up the butt and a metal probe down the urethra. Freaky is fine. Just don’t do it alone. If you’d like to try some bondage and butt play, just hook up with someone like the young lady below. I’m sure she’ll be happy to fill your need. Although you might want to be prepared in case she calls you up the next day and asks if you’ve still got her wristwatch.

Fisting

For anyone who doesn’t recognize it, the post title is an internet meme. Autopsy reports use that phrase and it has become an in-joke on some forums. Somebody will post a strange sex story and the response will be “Yes, but was the anus unremarkable?”

Checking fluid levels

This post from Spanking Blog made me laugh. It features a tweet from Cassandra Park…

over new guy’s knee getting spanked at party. out of nowhere he says, “can i check your oil?” um… you did NOT say that…no… seriously?
Tweet from Cassandra Park

The original tweet was from July, but I immediately flashed back to it when I saw the image below. It does look like she’s checking for a fluid level while her friend watches on with a concerned expression. Or maybe she’s searching for a reset button, the kind you get on a mobile phone, where you need to insert a bent paperclip into a tiny hole. Perhaps her slave has crashed? He has got an odd expression on his face. Let’s hope she’s not about to void his warranty.

Checking the oil levelI found this on the Domme and Pet in Love tumblr. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution.

I really don’t give a fig

There aren’t a lot of kinky physical activities I don’t enjoy. Obviously I haven’t tried everything, should such an accomplishment even be possible, but my strike rate on trying and enjoying new things is pretty high. That doesn’t mean that I love everything equally. I’ll always enjoy a good beating over a more gentle foot worship session, but I’m happy if either comes in my direction.

In all the sessions I’ve done I can only think of one thing that I absolutely disliked and never want to do again. That would be figging. For those that have never tried it, this consists of using a carved ginger root as a butt plug, as shown in the photograph below. The idea is that the ginger creates a stinging burning sensation that is particularly painful if the submissive clenches around the plug. It is sometimes combined with spanking, with the plug used to encourage the submissive to keep his or her muscles relaxed.

Unfortunately when I tried it, the only thing I could think of was curry. Red hot, melt the plastic bag, take-away curry. The kind I used to get in England after consuming many beers on a Friday night out. The kind that tasted so good at the time, but I always knew I’d pay for the next day. At any moment during the figging I expected the taste of stale lager in my mouth and a flock wallpaper flashback. The pain from the ginger wasn’t enough to be masochistically interesting, but it was enough to make me think of churning stomachs, hangovers and hours spent anchored to the porcelain throne.

After over ten years in the States there’s only three things that I still miss about England. My immediate family is one. Proper fish and chips wrapped in newspaper is another. And the final thing would be good Indian take away. Figging is a great way to recreate its exit conditions. Now I just need to find an equivalent for the tasting part.

FiggingI found this image on the Girls Rule, Subs Drool tumblr.

Ooh, shiny!

I don’t buy a lot of BDSM gear. I typically play with pro-dommes who have more equipment and furniture than you can shake a whip at. However, I do enjoy window shopping from time to time. Partly because it’s a good way to get ideas for future sessions and partly because I harbor the fantasy of creating my own custom playspace at some point. It seem like it’d be a very fun thing to put together. Unfortunately, given I’m currently single and living in a condo in downtown Seattle, it’s not really a practical proposition right now.

In the meantime I stick to browsing sites like the Stockroom, where I found these two fun looking toys. The one on the left is called ‘The Nut Crusher‘ and the one on the right the ‘Ultimate Asslock‘. Both those names should tell you all you need to know about their function. They’re appealing to me for their very industrial solid construction, almost resembling surgical equipment. As fun as pervertibles can be, there’s something sexy about a device deliberately designed and constructed to hurt someone. Particularly when using it involves screws, bolts and locks. No lightweight straps or buckles involved here.

Nut CrusherUltimate Asslock

Would a rose by any other name…

…still hurt as much when shoved into my asshole?

Yes, I know, I bastardized the original phrasing. Despite the common usage, there was no ‘would’ in the original Shakespeare’s line. But it was too hard to resist given this first image.

When I first saw this (on snail meilk) I thought it was fairly unique. After all, how often do flowers feature in a BDSM scene? Forniphilia might be fairly common, but it’s not often you see a human vase. Or at least I didn’t think so until I stumbled across the second image on the Willing Submissive tumblr site. Clearly having a functional but decorative slave is more appealing than I originally suspected.

Slave suspended as rose vaseHuman Vase

Young Love

When I saw this image I instantly thought of a post I’d seen from Cybill B Troy. In it she’d proffered an apology to her first boyfriend, a young man who probably didn’t realize quite what he was getting himself into. You can read the whole thing over here, but a little excerpt should give the general idea:

Started thinking about that first boyfriend of mine, that sweet sheltered boy, how long did it take him to realize that it probably it didn’t HAVE TO hurt, that it wasn’t exactly typical high-school fraternization to be watching Irene Boss videos after school while I tried to sneak a finger into his ass and see how far down his balls could stretch?

Of course for some of us that sounds like a magical high school romance, but for her first boyfriend, and the young man in the picture below, the magic is probably less obvious. You can’t see much of his expression in the image, but the wide eyed look tells me he’s probably having second thoughts about playing with anal beads. In contrast, she looks both intrigued and amused by the effect of her exciting new toy.

Young Love and Anal beads I’m afraid I don’t know the artist. I came across the image on the snail meilk femdom image board.

Violet wand goes where?

Apologies for the lack of posts (or comment responses) in the last couple of days. I’m actually on vacation right now, and while I have managed to find time for some kinky play, I’ve been less successful on the blogging front. I fly back later today, so normally service should be resumed then.

In the meantime here’s a fun image that made me smile. I believe that’s Mistress January Seraph with the violet wand. The gentleman she’s toying with doesn’t look all that keen on her attempt to use it to illuminate an area the sun rarely shines in. She has some other ideas for that same area, which also don’t seem to meet with his entire approval.

Violet Wand

These images come from the Inescapable Bondage site, which features various gender combinations, not just Fm.