The bandwagon rolls on

Having spent the last year or so all over the internet, Fifty Shades of Grey is now popping up on my television. The movie is due out next month and the trailers are running frequently. I’m just hoping it doesn’t come up as a topic of conversation with any of my non-kinky friends. After a few drinks I’ll probably be unable to avoid ripping into it, which might lead to speculation about how I know so much about it.

An article on it that I would be happy to point my friends to is this one in (of all places) the International Business Times. If features San Francisco’s Mistress Morgana, Seattle’s own Mistress Matisse and submissive Stephen Elliot. They do a good job of talking about the complexity and variety in kink, as well as emphasizing the need for consent.

I find it amusing that although most regular people primarily think about maledom when they think about BDSM (in my opinion), it seems like that the majority of articles on it feature female dominants. I don’t think there’s any great underlying social subtext to that. It’s just that journalists are busy/lazy and virtually all professional dominants are female. It’s much easier to find the contact details of a local pro-domme via a quick web search than it is to track down a lifestyle male dominant.

MorganaThe above image is of Mistress Morgana. She’s a BDSM professional, educator and guide. If you’re in the San Francisco area and interested in experiencing that wooden spoon for yourself, her contact details are here.

Pacific Rim

The rather cute images below are part of a fanfic series from the Pacific Rim movie. You can see the complete collection of illustrations in the series here. It’s well worth checking out the entire set of images. I thought the originally movie was a fun monster flick, albeit with a fair loose plot. The original Raleigh/Mako pairing had good chemistry, but some strap-on action would certainly have improved matters.
PacificRim1
PacificRim2

Cosmo article shocker

Mocking sex articles from Cosmopolitan magazine is no great challenge, although it can be amusing. They have a reputation for coming up with some ridiculous advice. For example, I give you toilet paper bondage.

When I saw an article from them entitled ‘I took my boyfriend to a dominatrix‘ I therefore didn’t have particularly high hopes, but it’s actually not terrible. Admittedly it’s a very short, fluffy throw-away piece. Yet there’s no jaw dropping idiocy in it or horrible factual errors. They were also smart enough to pick a talented and well known domme in the form of Mistress Wynter. I can almost imagine a couple reading the article and being encouraged to try a visit themselves.

I’ve always thought that more people should treat sex workers as an educational resource, particularly when it comes to BDSM. After all very few people would take up a sport or hobby that required specialized skills and used a variety of potentially dangerous equipment and then expect to make it up as they went along. Particularly if said dangerous equipment was in the vicinity of their naked genitals. In that situation smart people either join a local club or hire a professional instructor. BDSM obviously offers the club option, but not everyone wants to mix a social scene into their sexual play. In that case a pro-domme is an excellent alternative for learning new techniques.

Mistress WynterAbove image is of Mistress Wynter with a hooded slave as photographed by Anthelian. She’s a NYC based pro-domme and if you’re interested in utilizing her educational skills her contact info is here.

Kimchi and a strapon

This is the great Lori Adorable eating kimchi and sporting a strapon, as photographed by Mikey McMichaels. You can see more of his work via his tumblr. Lori Adorable maintains her own tumblr – Girl with the Most Cake. If you’re anything like me it’s the kind of tumblr that you start idly browsing and the next thing you know it’s an hour later and you’ve got a dozen new interesting thoughts to ponder.

Lori Adorable

Yumine Guo added to Femdom Artwork

It has been a while since I updated my Femdom Artwork pages. I’m very happy to break that lengthy hiatus with one of my favorite working artists – Yumine Guo. A lot of femdom artwork is very fetishistic and based on the male gaze. A lot like most femdom porn in fact. In contrast, I find Yumine’s work really captures the spirit of happy D/s play from both sides of the slash. There’s a sense of warmth and fun to it that’s often lacking in other femdom art.

The piece below was labeled ‘My boyfriend is so fucking cute…I just want to fuck him until he screams.’ You can see the original post here, and more at Yumine’s tumblr or blog.

Yumine Guo

We apologize for the interruption

Sorry about the lack of posts over the last few days. Inevitably I got sick after coming back from a trip. Flu season is bad enough, but flying in flu season is the kiss of death. Or at least the kiss of snuffly noses and annoying coughs.

I’m still in recovery mode, so while I go off to curl up under a blanket, let me leave you with some nice artwork. I’m not particularly a foot fetishist but I still thought this was kind of cute drawing. I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for it, so if you do then please let me know via a comment. I found it via the Elegant Femdom Art tumblr.

Artwork

A triumph of stupidity

Governments doing stupid things is nothing new. Just in the last few days we’ve had the British PM suggest banning encryption on the internet (bye bye all electronic commerce!) and the US goverment put the idiotic Ted Cruz in charge Nasa and science programs. However, I think Russia has outdone them all with its latest law. Having already made a name for themselves with previous anti-LGBT laws, they’ve now banned transgender people from driving. In fact, when you dig past the headline, it’s not just transgender people. They’ve also banned sadomasochists, exhibitionists, fetishists and transvestites. If that kind of law ever became widespread I’d guess most of my readers would be walking to work. A completely crazy law and a continuation of a worrying trend for Russian citizens.

The image below is from the Russian Mistress site. I hope for the ladies sake that the local traffic police never see it. That certainly looks like sadistic behavior to me.

A Sadistic Russian MistressI found this via the Slaves of Elena tumblr.

Scream therapy

I’m safely back in Seattle after flying back late on Sunday night. I finished the trip with a bang, or possibly that should be a thwack, by playing with the beautiful Domina Ai-Li on Sunday afternoon. It was another really fun session. Playing fairly heavy on consecutive days creates some interesting dilemmas, as dommes do love to poke, prod and generally work over any bruises they spot from the previous day!

In my previous post I commented on the role the eyes can play in a scene. Today I’m going to go a couple of inches lower and talk about the throat. It’s not a body part that gets mentioned often, but I think it definitely played a role in my session with Ai-Li. I had a slightly sore throat when we started (probably as a result of too much drinking and talking in busy bars) and yelling and screaming in pain didn’t help matters. I have a tendency to do that when someone beats the inside of my thighs particularly hard. As a result I tried to bite back my yells to be kinder to my throat, and that in turn seemed to lower my pain tolerance. I think vocalizing is a way to release tension and push through tough situations. It lets me be free and simply express what I feel. Trying to hold it back makes it harder for me to take pain and therefore increases its apparent intensity. So I guess it you want to make it tougher for a submissive, tell him or her to shut the hell up.

Of course if you want to let someone scream but not scare the neighbors into calling the cops, a gag is always a good alternative. It doesn’t give you silence, but does muffle yells while still allowing a healthy moan.

GagAtTheReadyI’m afraid I don’t know who the above domme is. If you do then feel free to enlighten me via the comments.

A visual connection

I was lucky enough to get to play with Domina Yuki today. She’s a very talented domme and as usual it was a great session with lots of groans, screams and whimpers. I can only hope the soundproofing in our playspace was good.

One thing I found particularly interesting was my emotional reaction to a whipping. I was lying face down on padded bench to receive it, looking to one side as she hit me with a heavy leather whip. To start with I was looking directly at her and the whipping felt incredibly intimate. Our only contact was the strands of the whip, and yet it felt like a caress. As others might feel about an intimate hug or a kiss, I felt about watching her swing this whip against me. It was almost a sexual experience.

After a number of strokes she moved around to my other side, where I couldn’t see her, and that changed the dynamic dramatically. Suddenly it was a challenge. I had to focus inside of myself and push through. The endorphins continued to flow but rather than being in an intimate situation I felt objectified. I could no longer project my feelings towards her and had to turn inward instead. I’m sure the strength of the blows were no different, yet they felt harder.

In hindsight the experience was a fascinating insight into the role of the brain in modifying pain and the way we can contextualize powerful sensations. It was almost a childlike reaction – sadistic peak-a-boo. Intellectually I always knew I was being hit by Mistress Yuki, but only when I could see her did it take on a different meaning.

Blindfold

We apologize for the interruption

Normally I try to keep this blog fairly isolated from the endless cycle of mainstream news stories. Today I’m going to make an exception. Normal service will be resumed shortly. In the meantime my thoughts are with the people who have lost loved ones in France.

Charlie
This cartoon was originally attributed to Banksy but is actually the work of French artist Lucille Clerc.