Femdom Resource – Page 238 – The beauty of dominant women

Too much kink

I’ve been debating putting up a profile on one of the kinky dating sites. For some reason, my plan A of sitting alone in my apartment anonymously blogging has not led to a throng of dominant women breaking my door down. Plan B might be in order. Plans C through Z are also not out of the question.

The first step in such a plan is to decide which site(s) to use. This in itself is problematic, as they’ve all got such a lousy reputation. There is a femdom specific one, Femdom Match, but the introduction on their front page does not fill me with great optimism.

IF you are looking to meet a Dominatrix to fulfill your fantasy of female domination you are at the right place. Your job as a slave/servant is to be at the service of your dominatrix.

My first thought on reading this was that obviously I wasn’t in the right place. I already know plenty of dominatrices who fulfill my fantasies. They’re called pro-dommes, and I think they’re wonderful people. But that’s not what I go to a kinky dating site for.

My second thought was what the reaction would be of any dominant woman reading that. What does it say about the kind of men she’ll meet on the site? Who is going to read that and want to sign-up to fulfill men’s fantasies? It’s the equivalent of a conventional dating site having the slogan – “A great place to meet hot women for sex.” I somehow can’t see Match or OK Cupid adopting that as their new tagline.

Ironically I think that the problem with most kinky dating sites is that they place too much emphasis on the kink. I know a few people out there have very specific fantasies that they need a partner to fulfill. If your only way to get off is wearing a pink onesie while being chased around the bedroom by a woman dressed as Margaret Thatcher brandishing a rubber chicken, then you should probably list that in your profile. But I suspect most of us are a little more flexible in our desires. No one individual activity, such as piercing or breathplay or spanking, is a deal breaker for me. As long as she’s dominant and GGG then that’s a big tick in the kinky box. What matters after that is what matters in any dating/friend situation. Is this person fun to hang out with? Do we have interests in common? When she pulls the gag out, will we have anything worthwhile to say to each other?

I do have some thoughts on how a good femdom dating site should be structured, but I’ll save that for another post. Instead I’ll finish with a picture of what looks like a fun dating moment found on the 24-7-Sub tumblr.

Added Barb to Femdom Artwork

As the titles suggests, I’ve added an entry in the Femdom Artwork section for Barbara O’Toole aka Barb.

I have to admit that her common themes of domestic discipline and older women with younger men doesn’t push my personal buttons. I like pain and submission for it’s own sake, not in a wider context of punishment. But I know she’s a very popular artist (RedRump and Underling are on record as fans) and she’s undoubtedly a deserving entrant in my femdom artist wall of fame.

An amused smile

I’ve posted in the past about the effect a smile in an image can have. It’s often the difference between an average image I’ll zip past on a tumblr and one that’ll have me looking for the save option. The shot below is a good case in point. I like the shiny chastity cage, the fact she’s making him do all the work and her relaxed pose with the cigarette. But the thing that really makes it an image worth posting is her smile. There’s a nice air of amused anticipation to it.

I found this on the sex is not the enemy tumblr.It’s originally from the strap-on dreamer site.

He fixes the cable?

Kink.com is running a porn script writing contest. The winner gets $2,000, a year’s free subscription and a chance to see their script on screen. A potentially unlimited number of runners-up get the same minus the cash prize. I’m sure at this point some of you are thinking “Wow! What a great competition” while the majority of you are thinking “They use scripts for these things?” Apparently so.

In many ways it seems to be a no lose scenario. They get free creative input from their fans and erotic fiction writers get a chance to see their ideas made flesh. However, I can’t help thinking they missed a trick here. I’ve read a lot of on-line comments, particularly from dominant women, that are very critical about the state of femdom pornography. There’s obviously a huge amount of content out there that plays exclusively to the submissive male and concentrates on the typical femdom cliches. Lots of snarling ice queens in leather and thigh-high boots swinging whips and flaunting enormous strap-ons. Personally I don’t mind a little stereotypical BDSM porn now and again, but I do recognize the imbalance in the market. A contest involving amateur content creation would seem a great opportunity to address that.

Presumably they’ll be judging the entrants against Kink.com’s own criteria for success. They’ll be looking for the script they wish they’d written themselves. Wouldn’t it be great to have another prize for an alternative style of script? Something that would appeal to the kinky people who they’re not currently reaching? Perhaps using a judging panel drawn from the broader BDSM community, rather than people who normally make porn. It need not even have a cash prize, just seeing the script made would probably be reward enough. And I’m sure it’d be great PR for Kink.com.

I might give the competition a shot anyway, whatever judging criteria they use. If any of my readers enter with success then let me know. I’d love to feature an image from the eventual shoot. In the meantime, as a possible spark to the imagination, I’ll leave you with intriguing images from a couple of different shoots for Kink’s Divine Bitches site.

Meet the candidate. Beat the voter.

The American public may have campaign fatigue right now, but it turns out there are still important issues to vote on. I’m referring of course to the Bondage Awards. Plenty of politicians pontificate about ‘family values’ while harboring a secret life of perverse sexual practices. Here at least you get to vote for someone who’s up front about their kinky sex. Let’s just hope none of the candidates are concealing secret lives as politicians and lobbyists. That really would be sick.

I have to admit I’d never heard of them until Ms Justine Cross blogged that she’d been nominated. I think it’s a fun idea, but I have to question the nomination process. Under the Female Dom category there are definitely some well known names (e.g. Ms Justine Cross, Coral Korrupt, Dante Posh, Lexi Sindel, etc.) but also some pretty weird choices. For example, Brenda who loves “being bound and helpless”. Or Caroline who is “a natural submissive.” Or JJ a “pin-up and bondage model.” I’m sure they’re great people, but they don’t strike me as candidates for female dominant of the year.

I’m also not really sure how you’d judge such a thing. It can’t be for hottest femdom film or site, because some of them don’t produce porn. It doesn’t appear to be for contributions to the kinky community or being an ambassador for BDSM. So presumably it’s simply for being a general fantastic female dominant. That would seem to be a hard thing to assess without actually playing together.

Really what they need is a submissive man to session with all the candidates and guide the judging process. Much like the Oscar judges get sent copies of movies, this man could be packed up and sent between the finest dungeons in the land. He’d have to be experienced (say late 30’s), happy to document his scenes and located close to a lot of the candidates (the West coast perhaps). Obviously he’d need to be tactful and polite (maybe from a country known for such things) and of high moral standing (I’m going to call this one optional).

While the hunt goes on for such a rare and exceptional submissive, I’ll leave you with an image featuring two of the Female Dom candidates for 2012. This is Lexi Sindel and Coral Korrupt inspecting a well beaten slave.

I believe this image is from a Femdom Empire shoot.

Fun with bandages

I experienced being heavily bandaged tonight. Fortunately this didn’t involve a trip to the ER, but did involve Lydia and a lot of Co-Flex bandages. This type of bandage is typically used for wrapping horse’s tails and legs. It’s latex based, quite strong but also stretchy. It sticks to itself but not skin, so it’s ideal for wrapping somebody up. With 10 minutes work you can efficiently mummify an entire body, and yet it’s super quick and easy to cut free when you’re done. And since it comes in a whole variety of colors, it can look pretty cool as well. Definitely recommended if you’re into tight bondage but don’t want to spend a fortune on gear or valuable playtime fiddling with knots. I can confirm it’ll hold all limbs tightly in place even when the top wraps clingfilm around your face and then attaches alligator clips to your delicate parts.

I don’t have any images of the session, so I’ll leave you instead with this shot featuring a different style of bandages. It’s an interesting blend of medical play and more traditional fetish gear. I find it quite a strange but also atmospheric shot, with a suggestion of both erotica and horror.

I found this on the Gorean Kajirus tumblr.

Reasons to be cheerful

I felt like posting some happy pictures tonight. Democrats in the US are obviously going to be very cheerful over the election results. Republicans not so much, but that just means they’re in need of happy pictures to help cheer them up. For fans of marriage equality it looks like all four ballot measure are going to succeed, which is great news. And for everyone outside the US, I’m sure nobody will object to attractive smiling women having some kinky fun. Hopefully these shots will give everyone a reason to be cheerful.

To find these I went to the obvious place for happy kinky shots, the Happy BDSM tumblr. They’re originally from Whipped Ass.

Equality

I generally steer clear of politics on this site. I have strong personal views but I figure nobody comes here to find out what they are. It’s also pretty difficult to find good femdom images on the topics of the US budget or foreign policy. For some reason that’s an erotic niche that really doesn’t get the creative attention it deserves.

However, there’s one topic I do feel comfortable blogging about and that’s marriage equality. There are ballot initiatives for it in Maine, Minnesota, Maryland and Washington. In my adopted home state of Washington it’s Referendum 74, with approval meaning that same sex marriage would be legalized. Whatever your views on politicians and the political process, this particular issue is a very simple yes/no decision where your vote can make a major difference to peoples lives. If you’re in one of those states I’d urge you to vote for equality on Tuesday. I think you’d need a heart of stone to see stories like that of Edie and Thea and still not vote for it.

Alternatively, if you’re one of those people who thinks gay marriage somehow weakens straight marriage, or it’s some untouchable sacred institution, then you can just…

Enjoying the moment

I tend to think of pegging as a kinky activity with a lot of cross-over appeal. Much like oral sex was once considered daring, but is now completely mainstream, I’ve always assumed anal play (for both genders) was in that kind of transition. However, I mentioned this idea to a female friend the other week (as you do in casual conversation), and she looked at me like I was a crazy person. I should emphasize that this wasn’t a proposition on my part, or a suggestion to try it, just a general comment that getting pegged for a guy was not too unusual. Given she’s a fairly cosmopolitan person, and not an escapee from a nunnery, it’s therefore possible I’ve misjudged just how mainstream pegging really is.

Whatever its current societal status, this images strikes me as a great advertisement for it. They look like two people really enjoying themselves in the moment. With a few more shots like this around, maybe it’d be as mainstream as the missionary position.

I found this on the Work Is Never Over tumblr. I believe, based on my internet detective work, it’s originally from the Ladies Fuck Gents site.

What happened next?

Here’s an image that I like but I’m also a little puzzled by. Normally a chair is either something to be tied into or to be paddled over. In this case, I’m not really sure what she’s planning to use it for. Perhaps she’s going to do some CBT by sitting in it and leaning backwards? Or maybe tie his balls to the top prior to a cock caning? Inquiring minds wants to know.

I found it on the Alternative Femdom tumblr. It’s originally from InSexM and I think that’s Princess Donna taking charge of the situation.