Femdom Resource – Page 231 – The beauty of dominant women

What would your mother say

Via Spanking Blog comes an entertaining story of how an indiscreet spanking led to an awkward parental conversation. Followed by an even more awkward awakening of long dormant parental kink. I’m not sure what would embarrass me more. My parents finding out about my kinks, or me discovering theirs.

It actually puts me in mind of a conversation I’ve had about this topic with a close friend of mine. She knows about my kinky preferences and has raised the question of what I share with my family. She has a young daughter and hates the thought the she might grow up concealing a huge part of her identity. I understand that. If something’s important to their child it’s important to the parent. At the same time I can’t begin to imagine having that kind of conversation with my parents. The endless analysis of my childhood and exactly where they went wrong would drive me insane. Nobody needs to hear how their toilet training simply must be related to their interest in S&M. Amateur psychology, parental guilt and embarrassing sexual details might make great subjects for a Woody Allen film, but I don’t need it whenever my family are in town.

At least the original story gives me a chance to feature an entertaining spanking themed shot. I’m not sure if this is a plea for mercy or a prayer for punishment. Either way I suspect this ends with that hairbrush getting deployed at speed.

I found this on the Led Marriage and Chastity (aka Carolus666) tumblr. It’s originally from Lina’s House of Discipline.

Playing with deprivation

I’ve had some interesting sessions in the last couple of weeks playing with sensory deprivation. It’s not normally a hot-button topic for me, but I’ve grown to appreciate some of the intense experiences it can deliver. Five years ago I’d have described this type of play as weird and unappealing. All the strange leather and latex equipment seemed too fetishistic and specialized. Fast forward a couple of years and I finally figured out the appeal, but thought it was too intense for me to deal with. That’s still partly true, but I’ve improved my bottoming skills with practice. Mostly that’s due to building a rapport with Lydia and her ability to ease me gradually into difficult situations.

The first session was built around a leather sleep sack. You can see a couple of shots of me in it here and here. Firstly, Lydia wrapped my limbs and torso in plastic wrap to try and minimize contact between my body parts. She even wrapped each finger individually so I couldn’t touch my fingers together. Then I was zipped into the sleep sack and the straps around it tightened. My head got treated to a form fitting hood, a towel packed around my ears, the sleep sack hood and a layer of plastic wrap. Finally, some rope applied across the body and electrics applied to the cock finished the whole thing off.

The second session I did featured a latex vacuum bed. We didn’t snap any shots off this, but if you’ve ever seen one of those in action, you’ll have a pretty good idea of how the session unfolded. Lots of latex, tight restraint and breathplay.

One thing I found particularly interesting in both sessions was the interplay between stress and subspace. Being bound pushes me into subspace. I go quiet and a little spacey as my body gets locked down. But putting things around and over my head raises my anxiety levels and pulls me back out of subspace. My mind and my breath start racing and I have to consciously focus on not panicking. That mental effort of dealing with my instinctive stress reaction makes it hard for me to let go. What helps reverse this response is mild pain. Anything too intense just kicks up the flight or fight response, but mild pain gives me a focus. It also plays into my natural masochism and helps release the endorphins I need to zone out. A caress and a pinch in just the right place is the ultimate stress reliever for me.

Return of a blog

I was happy to recently discover that Orlando over at In Scarlet Ink had started blogging again. He’s one of the more literate and thoughtful male submissive bloggers I’ve come across. His blog went through a period of being password protected, and then went on a long hiatus while his partner dealt with a major health issue, but it seem he’s back. If you’ve not read him before a few good background posts might be how he and his partner Murre got together (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4) and his recent return post after the blogging blackout.

He also has a tumblr with a varied collection of images on it. I’ll leave you one he posted based on a theme of ‘inspections’. His comment with the image seemed pretty spot on – “O god she has a clipboard. That can’t be good.”

The image is originally from the Adventures in CFNM site.

Making a dramatic entrance

Making a dramatic entrance by descending slowly down a staircase is a classic movie and television trope. However, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen one quite like this before. She certainly seems quite pleased by what she’s got to show us. As entrances go, she looks wonderful, but she really needs a more impressive staircase to complement her.

I found this on the Women rule, boys drool (aka willie2serve) tumblr.

Cross-dressing meth priest liked sex in rectory

This is another post that isn’t particularly femdom themed. It also features the third kinky priest I’ve blogged about in the last week or so. But when I saw the title of the article, as replicated above, I couldn’t resist posting it. The San Francisco Chronicle carried the story in question, and pretty much nailed it in the heading.

The chronology of events isn’t exactly clear from the write-up. Becoming a Catholic priest was obviously step one. Not a great career choice in my view, but fair enough. From that I think he moved onto the cross dressing and having sex with men in the rectory (make your own pun up there). Good for him on that progression. Then he opened an adult video store, possibly the one fact they didn’t manage to cram into the title. Again, I think that’s a perfectly fine and respectable thing to do. Finally, he concluded his richly decorated resume by manufacturing and dealing meth. That’s the point I have to part company with him. It’s a disappointing move for a man of God.

My favorite line in the whole crazy article is…

rectory personnel became concerned and notified diocese officials when Wallin, sometimes dressed as a woman, would entertain odd-looking men, some who were also dressed in women’s clothing and engaging in sex acts.

It makes me wonder – did they need all those things in place before they became concerned? Would the cross-dressing have been OK, but the sex acts really put it over the edge?

I’ll leave you with a cross-dressing image, courtesy of Kimberly Wilder, that’s at little more aligned with a femdom theme. I think she’s being teased with the key to her chastity belt.

Dear Abby

Pauline Phillips, more commonly known as the columnist Dear Abby, died on Wednesday. You can read her NY Times obituary here. Not having grown up in the US, she wasn’t a big part of my cultural background, but I’d certainly seen and enjoyed her writing.

Reading advice columns is always a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. It’s fun to either feel smug at coming to the same conclusion as the columnist or indignant at how foolish their advice is. Not to mention the ‘sightseeing at the asylum’ element of occasionally encountering a nutty letter from a bewildered person in a strange situation. Dan Savage, writing in his tribute to Dear Abby, quoted what is by far the best and most concise response I’ve ever seen in an advice column.

Dear Abby: Two men who claim to be father and adopted son just bought an old mansion across the street and fixed it up. We notice a very suspicious mixture of company coming and going at all hours—blacks, whites, Orientals, women who look like men and men who look like women. This has always been considered one of the finest sections of San Francisco, and these weirdos are giving it a bad name. How can we improve the neighborhood? — Nob Hill Residents

Dear Residents: You could move.

In tribute to those women who dress like men and vice-versa, here’s an entertaining image I found on the sex is not the enemy tumblr. Personally I always appreciate a woman in a sharp suit.

I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution for the image.

Dudes in distress

Thanks to Tars Tarkas I’ve got a source for yesterday’s image. It’s actually a tumblr posting original content called Dudes in Distress. I’m so used to see copied content on tumblrs it didn’t occur to me that the original poster might also be the creator. If they happen to read this I’d suggest watermarking their excellent images.

As for the tumblr itself, it’s exactly as it’s name implies. Lots of shots of cute guys in bondage or relatively mild torment. If your preferences run in that direction, then I’d suggest checking it out.

100% goodness

Normally when I pick an image to post it’s because there are one or two interesting details that call out to me. There’s an expression I like, or a cool bit of equipment or a nicely captured emotion. It’s rare that I love everything about an image. This shot is one of those exceptions.

I love the cool inverted suspension with the colored ropes. I love the fact the women is a light sundress rather than dommey leather. The fact she’s a cutey in glasses is an added bonus. I love the books and shelves in the background. It’s not a bleak industrial space or a faux-stone clad dungeon. Most of all I love the mixture of emotions and sense of connection between them. There’s both playfulness and seriousness to it. She looks like she’s caressing his head in one hand, but ready to squeeze him with the other hand.

I found this on Thumper’s Portfolio. Despite hunting with a reverse image search, I couldn’t track down a source for the image. If anyone know’s who shot, published or starred in this, then please let me know via a comment.

Dine and Domme tour: East coast edition.

I’ve written in the past about trips I’ve done down the West coast (for example here and here). Combining food and kink (although not necessarily at the same time) is my idea of a great vacation. It has always been a goal to replicate the idea on the East coast, and I’m happy to say that at the end of this month I’m finally getting chance to do so. I’ll be spending a week in Manhattan, doing a little shopping, a lot of fine dining and interspersing them both with some deviant kinky behavior.

The main problem planning this kind of trip is a surfeit of choice. There are just so many great dommes in the NYC area. However, there is one domme that I’ve heard so many good things about that it ultimately made my decision an easy one – Miss Troy Orleans. Fortunately she had time available on her calendar for me, and I’m looking forward to two separate sessions with her. I’m sure we’ll have a lot of fun together.

Ironically scheduling time with professional sadists turns out to be a far more pleasant process than scheduling time with organizations designed to pamper and indulge their guests. And by that I’m talking about NYC restaurants. Most of them make the DMV look like a role model for easy and efficient service. Fortunately, after a lot of listening to call waiting muzac and some mad-ninja open table skills, I snagged reservations at (amongst others) Le Bernardin, Per Se, Eleven Madison Park, Kyo Ya and WD-50. I look forward to blogging in a few weeks about how it all works out.

This image of a rather elegant lady admiring the New York skyline comes courtesy of the he stoops to worship (aka devoted sub) tumblr.

Printing your own toys

One of the big new things in the techy world is 3D printing. This works pretty much exactly as it sounds. You plug the printer into your computer, and rather than an image it prints out a three dimensional shape. They’ve been around for years, but have only recently dropped into the consumer price range. They’re still not cheap, but they’re now the price of a high-end television rather than a high-end automobile.

It’s a rule of the universe that any new technology will always get adopted in some way for sex. There are obviously a lot of toy possibilities with this kind of creative tool, particularly given its ability to create highly customized one off shapes. As you’d expect, companies are springing up to target this niche. Insertable toys are tricky at present, as resolution and texture issues need to be resolved. But I’d think that BDSM toys would a great area to target, with all sorts of imaginative torture and constraint options possible.

So far the only example of printable BDSM toys I’ve found is this collar and cuff combination. It’s very crude, but you can definitely see the possibilities it opens up. Starting with that as a template, it’d be interesting to personalize it by adding your own patterns and designs into the basic shape. You could even create special collars for particular events, anniversaries or certain types of play sessions. If you could imagine it, you could create it.

I’ll leave you with a shot of someone wearing a slightly more conventional collar arrangement courtesy of Mistress Alex in NYC.

I found this on the Musing of a Mistress tumblr.