Femdom Resource – Page 225 – The beauty of dominant women

Red doesn’t always mean stop

I was intrigued to read this article on the relationship between color and behavior. Its basic conclusions are that color can have a significant effect on emotional response, and that people associated with red appear more sexually appealing. Women in red bordered images are rated more attractive, red clothes generate more hits on dating sites and hitchhikers in red have a better chance of being picked up. It apparently works for both men and women, although the article doesn’t cite any studies featuring men as the subjects.

Clearly this is where I’ve been going wrong. My wardrobe is full of blue, grey and black. I should have been modelling my style on Santa Claus or The Flash. Or possibly even Little Red Riding Hood, if I wanted to throw a bit of kinky cross dressing into the mix.

The mistress in this Divine Bitches shoot has certainly got the red look well sorted out. She’s even color coordinated her electroshock prod. I wonder if the attraction created by her dress is neatly offset by the pain of being shocked in his mouth? That’s the kind of useful survey that scientists never seem to get around to.

Long live the new flesh

The image below is of Debbie Harry, singer in one of the greatest New Wave bands, and star of one of my favorite movies – Videodrome. Directed by David Cronenberg, it’s a strange hallucinatory film, blending horror and science fiction with BDSM and media culture.

This shot is taken from it but, unfortunately for femdom fans, it’s not indicative of her character as she doesn’t play a domme role. Instead she’s a masochistic pleasure seeker, mixed up with a sleazy TV executive (James Woods) and a weird pirate S&M TV channel. It’s a movie very much ahead of its time as this video review makes clear. It’s also very much a love/hate kind of movie, and if you like clear plots and unambiguous characters I’d steer clear. On the other hand, fans of weirdness, stylish cult movies and strange thought provoking scenes will probably love it. Plus, it features a very sexy piercing play scene between the two stars, which must be unique in Hollywood movies.

I found this on the he stoops to worship (aka Devoted Sub) tumblr.

Nothing to be sniffed at

Over at the Pure Liquid Kink blog there’s an interest post up about scent. It ponders why scent play isn’t more common, and why it isn’t talked about it more. After all sense of smell is a huge part of our sensorium.

Offhand I can think of a bunch of different reasons for its limited usage. Firstly, it’s hard to control. It’s relatively easy to modify your appearance or the sounds you make. In contrast making your body give off a particular scent is more of a black art. Secondly, it’s tricky to schedule. It takes time or a gym visit to develop a good sexy funk and, unless you have immediate access to a shower, it can’t be removed instantly. So planning is required. Finally, it’s a tough thing not to share. What’s sexy for a partner might not be so sexy to share with your work colleagues. After all, you wouldn’t want them nicknaming you after a well known Terry Pratchett character.

…his smell has become strong enough to not only melt earwax but to acquire a separate existence. In fact, it outclasses him, and is usually referred to in text as being almost another character entirely, who occasionally arrives ahead of Ron, opts to stick around for a while after his departure, and even goes to upper-class parties without him.
Wikipedia entry on Foul Old Ron

While that kind of smell is a little more edge play than I care for, the overall idea of scent play is a hot one for me. The natural perfume of a woman is sexy. It’s both a very physical and very intimate thing. And while it’s true that scent doesn’t get talked about a huge amount, there’s clearly a lot of interest in it. Whenever I see pro-dommes or porn stars selling clothing items, smell is frequently a big advertising point, whether it’s funky sneakers or more intimately fragranced items.

I found this image on the Adore Femdom tumblr. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution.

Channeling the inner dominatrix

If you keep an eye out for BDSM articles in the press, you’ll quickly discover there are two common templates that pop up repeatedly. One is the latest gossip on the 50 shades of grey phenomena. The other features a model or actress pulling on something vaguely fetishistic and being described as channeling her inner dominatrix. It might only be a pair of leather boots or a black shiny dress, but inevitably a dominatrix will be being channeled.

The latest story to use this template features Cara Delevingne and Karl Lagerfeld. It’s a particularly annoying example thanks to the two different collars Cara is wearing. It doesn’t make any sense to couple an aggressive domme look with collars that are designed for attaching a leash to. It seems they just throw any vaguely fetishistic gear together without a thought for what it actually means. Which is particularly bad when you’re supposed to be a fashion designer and the meaning, look and utility of clothes is your stock in trade.

By way of a contrast I give you the image below. These women really seem to be getting the hang of their inner dominatrix, and not a hint of leather, latex or overpriced couture clothing in sight.

I found this on the Femdom Style Counsel tumblr. It’s originally from the Women Spanking Men site.

Me not think too good

It has been a long day. I did an intense and very enjoyable session with Cynthia Stone on the afternoon and followed it with an excellent dinner at Spago. I’m certainly not complaining, but my ability to write coherent and witty posts may have been curtailed. Not that there was ever a great potential there to start with.

While I attempt to sleep off this cocktail of adrenalin, endorphins and alcohol, I’ll leave you with a shot I found on the wonderfully named Food, Fucking and Femdom tumblr. That’s pretty much my favorite three things in life. In this particular case I love the blurred cane and the well marked ass.

Definition of kinky

After yesterday’s celebrity post I figured I’d follow up with another kinky Hollywood story. I didn’t have anything specific in mind, but it seemed appropriate given I’m in the area. I assumed kinky stories about Hollywood celebrities would be a dime a dozen and therefore easy to find.

However, I was amazed to discover that in the celebrity gossip world, kinky = homosexual. Or at least that seemed to be the case based on my search engine investigations. Any ‘kinky’ story in the news always seemed to involve a same sex hook-up. Technically the definition of kinky means ‘unusual sexual behavior’, which I guess could cover homosexuality by some usages of ‘unusual’, but that seems pretty outdated to me. I can only assume the celebrity gossip is still stuck in the 80’s when it comes to sexuality. Gay women are titillating, gay men are outrageous and anything more risque than that should not be mentioned.

The image is by Ellen Von Unwerth from series she titled Revenge.

All the latest celebrity gossip

I don’t typically read tabloid showbiz stories or celebrity news. However, maybe it’s the influence of LA rubbing off on me, but this gossipy story about Olivia Wilde caught my eye today. She took her fiance Jason Sudeikis to a strip club and…

There, a witness told us, “Olivia booked the private champagne room with two dancers. She took Jason inside, and while he wasn’t allowed to touch the dancers, she could touch them.”

That sounds like a particularly entertaining form of tease and denial. Two dancers and Olivia Wilde, and he can’t touch? That’s deliciously evil.

Normally I’d accompany this post with a nice tease and denial femdom image. Unfortunately my hotel internet connection is following the standard law of hotel bandwidth – the nicer the hotel the crappier the internet connection. Surfing sites for a good image to use is therefore far too painful, and I’ll simply settle for a shot of the beautiful Ms Wilde herself.

The mystery of the disappearing dildo

I’ve never read any of the Harry Potter books, but a reverse image search tells me this is fan art featuring two of the characters – Harry and Ginny. Presumably she’s showing him her latest magic trick. Using just an ordinary school tie and a completely conventional strap-on harness, she can make her magic wand disappear completely from view. It’s a neat trick, but I’m going to bet that Harry has a fair idea where she has hidden it.

I’m afraid I don’t know the original artist. I found it on the Felm Cyber tumblr (originally larger version available here).

The safeword is lawyer

I’m taking a few days vacation in LA. Posting may therefore suffer due to this. I have got some kinky fun lined up, so hopefully there will be some interesting session photographs to share at some point.

In the meantime I’ll leave you with this thought provoking story featuring a financial domme who got jailed for blackmail. Essentially the scene was pushed to a point that the submissive preferred to contact the police rather than pay the 6000 euros necessary to escape it. Given the limited details available it’s hard to know who exactly was at fault. Was this the equivalent of a client negotiating a light spanking and then alleging assault when he received a heavy beating? Or the equivalent of negotiating a heavy beating and then alleging assault when he was given exactly that?

I’m on record as not being a fan of financial domination, and my concerns about a ‘duty of care’ do seem to be born out with this case. If someone was willing to risk the shame and humiliation of exposing their kink to the world, they must have been pushed well beyond their limits, and that suggests the dommes really weren’t paying attention to their clients well-being. But as I said, it’s hard to know what really happened without seeing more details. Given the lack of standing BDSM has within the law, the fact two people were jailed doesn’t necessarily mean they were entirely at fault.

The image comes courtesy of Femdom Times and this gallery. The site referenced in the watermark no longer seems to be active.

Guilt+Force=?

This is continuation of yesterday’s post on ‘force’ based scenes, originally triggered by this post by Stabbity. Reading those first will probably help this make more sense.

Force in a BDSM scene can undoubtedly be very hot. For one thing it suggests passion and emotion. As a submissive being on the receiving end of that is energizing. It’s hard to be forceful towards something you’re indifferent about. Force in a scene also brings in ideas of objectification and control. A lot of BDSM toys are about removing some element of control, whether that’s over motion, speech, sight or sphincter muscles. Force can be a further extension of that, removing the ability to control consent, albeit in a consensual non-consent kind of way.

I get all those aspects of force in a scene. The one associated aspect that does puzzle me is the idea of removing or shifting guilt. This came up in the comments to Stabbity’s post.

I also feel that the use of force enables a sub who is ashamed of a certain desire to experience it without guilt. I see it most frequently in regard to forced bi scenarios. The sub wants it but doesn’t want to admit (either to others or to himself) that he wants it. So by passing off the responsibility to the dom, he’s essentially free to indulge without worry. – roo-roo

This is a view I’ve seen expressed many times in the past, and I have to say I don’t get it. And I mean that in the ‘I personally don’t understand’ way, not in the ‘it’s wrong’ way. Can guilt be really shifted so easily? Mixing the complex emotions of a forced BDSM scene to a genuine sense of guilt sounds like a combustible emotional mix. If a traumatic childhood experience with a Salvation Army lady had left me with fetish for stealing from charity collection boxes, I’d (hopefully) feel very guilty about that. Would dragging a domme into my coin pilfering schemes make me feel any better? Can guilt be shared or even shifted like that? It seems such a reductive view of an emotion. Perhaps it depends on someone’s ability to compartmentalize and buy into their own stories and fantasies. Maybe if I roleplayed in scenes I’d understand this better.

As I said, it’s not an unusual or uncommon view on force in scenes, but it does leave me scratching my head. Perhaps the fact I’m not an emotional masochist may have something to do with that. While I ponder that, I’ll leave you with another fun piece of artwork, this by Kami Tora. Not quite as overtly physical as the Stanton drawings from yesterday, but it does have some nice hair pulling and forceful pegging.