Femdom Resource – Page 217 – The beauty of dominant women

Uh huh huh huh

A few posts ago I was writing about domination for dummies. This post is the double converse of that – submissive who are dumb. It was sparked by the tumblr of Mistress Ouch and her series of posts on some of the dumb things wannabe clients say to her. I found them highly entertaining. A few of my favorites were…

“Hi Mistress, I want a really simple easy session and since all that other stuff you do is gross and weird you’re probably really glad to have such a simple easy boring session. Can I have a discount?”

“I disagree with your boundaries. I am very logical and your boundaries are very illogical. Let me use my awesome logic skills to show you how stupid and crazy your boundaries are. Why aren’t you agreeing with me? You’re stupid and crazy.”

“Wait, you’re letting me choose when I get to come in? You mean you don’t dominate me during the booking process?”

She has plenty more amusing example of obtuseness from the little s brigade. They’re well worth a read as examples of the kind of idiocy that pro-dommes have to regularly sort through.

I thought picking a picture for this post might be tricky until I stumbled on the one below. Butthead would make the stupidest submissive possible. I don’t think they ever did a Beavis and Butthead episode featuring a pro-domme, which feels like they missed a trick. The dialog just writes itself. It starts with “Uh huh huh huh. We’re totally going to do it. Come to Butthead”. Swiftly followed “Owww! Get off me you asswipe! That hurts”.

This image was never part of the TV show. It’s taken from a 1997 book called The Butt Files.

A new experience

In my recent trip to San Francisco I enjoyed an entirely new experience – attending a BDSM workshop. I was there courtesy of Domina Yuki and Domina Ai-Li. Having sessioned with them both on prior days, they invited me along to a piercing workshop as their demo bottom. I’d never done any kind of play at parties or open events so, always curious to try new things, I jumped at this opportunity.

It was held at a large modern dungeon with plenty of space for people to setup their individual scenes. While I was there I spotted 6 or 7 groups doing scenes, with maybe 15 to 20 people in attendance. The three of us grabbed a spot in a corner and I got naked while Yuki and Ai-Li plotted their plan of action.

The first they wanted to try was a needle zipper. They’d seen one done before by the person running the workshop and wanted to pick his brains on the right way to do it. All three of us were experienced in both piercing and zippers but none of us had tried them in combination before. So, after a few pointers from the workshop coordinator, they broke the needles out and starting threading them into place on my torso.

It was an interesting experience doing a scene as part of a workshop rather than a dedicated session. It felt a little like a craft project. There was a lot of discussion along the lines of “Hmm, that doesn’t look right. I’m going to redo that bit” and “How are you doing the knots?” and “Shall we pull it this way or more over here?” I simultaneously felt like part of the project team and also the object of the project. Which was a good feeling for me. Collaborative yet objectifying. You can see the results of their work on my torso in the following images: Top View, Side View and Up View.

When it came time to pull the zipper I heard the workshop coordinator advertising the fact and a small crowd gathered where we were. This upped the strangeness factor significantly. I was naked in front of a bunch of strangers. I’d never been on the end of a needle zipper before. And the two tops involved had never done one before. I wasn’t particularly stressed or worried, but it was kind of weird. My main concern was that I might scream like a baby when they pulled the cords.

Luckily everything went smoothly. We even captured a video of it, which can be seen here. At the start you can hear Yuki and Ai-Li debating exactly how to pull the cords. Then there’s some ooh’s and ahh’s from both me and the crowd, following by applause from the crowd and laughter from me right at the end. It wasn’t particularly painful (compared to say staple zippering), but it is quite an intense sensation as the skin is pulled and twisted by the needles. You can see the end result post pull in this image (warning – some small blood trickles).

After the zipper we moved onto a slightly more playful idea – a butt corset. The idea here to pull my two butt cheeks together with needles and elastic cord in the style of a corset. I’ve had a corset done to my back before, but never anything quite this far down. I think the end result worked out pretty well, as shown in the images here, here and here.

Overall it was a great experience and one I’d be happy to repeat. Despite the available evidence to the contrary I’m not an exhibitionist, and don’t particularly get anything from the idea of semi-public scenes. However, the scientist in me loves the idea of experimenting, trying new things out and sharing ideas. I’m also strongly attracted to the idea of being useful and contributing something. A workshop like this pushes both my masochistic and service buttons. Not to mention the fact that it’s a lot of fun to hang out with two such talented and friendly dommes as Mistress Yuki and Mistress Ai-Li.

After a post featuring lots of links to images of a naked me, I feel I should finish with something a little more visually appealing. This is Mistress Yuki and Mistress Ai-Li taken with an unidentified slave.

Melt in the mouth

I’m not typically an ice cream fan. Normally I’d prefer a sorbet. But a naked lady, a strap-on and a tub of ice cream? That works. That really works. Add some champagne into the mix and we could be talking about the perfect evening in.

I found this on the I Crave Domination tumblr. I’m afraid I can’t track down an original attribution. Weirdly google images can somehow figure out this is a shot about ice cream, but not who originally published it.

New tumblrs added

As the title states, I’ve added a bunch of new tumblrs to the Femdom Image page. I’ve also cleaned out any dead or dormant sites and removed a few that were no longer showing appropriate content. The new entries are…

The image below is taken from the Dudes in Distress tumblr. It’s a nice combination of colorful rope and predicament bondage. He’s one lucky distressed dude.

Dominatrix for Dummies

Sadly the post title doesn’t refer to another entry in the eponymous Dummies series. Which is a shame, as I think it might make an entertaining read. Instead it refers to a one-woman show by Eleanor O’Brien. It’s based on her experiences training as a pro-domme in NYC and looks like it might make for an amusing evening. Apparently one of the dommes she mimics is called Margo, but I’m sure that’s no relation to the NYC based Miss Margo of my blogroll! If you’re in Portland and interested in attending, it’s playing this weekend (14/15/16 June) at the CoHo theater.

I have to admit my first thought on seeing the original article title – once I got over the strange syntax (surely it should be Domination for Dummies) – was that if you’re a dummy, you probably shouldn’t be a dominatrix. My second thought, hard on the heels of the first, was I wonder if anyone has a fetish for incompetent dominatrices? The kind who’d hit themselves with their own whip, giggle during serious interrogation roleplay and tie themselves into knots rather than the submissive. I’ve never heard of such a kink, but if the internet has taught us anything, it’s that if you can imagine it, somebody will fetishize it. If it does exist, then it strikes me as one of the most dangerous kinks you could possibly have.

Picking a picture this post was tricky. I didn’t want to use a recent shot and risk an angry email from an offended domme. Luckily when you’re looking for incompetency in kink, you can always turn to 70’s porn. This one’s a real doozy. There’s a weird belt leash, an incompetently waved whip, some strange eye makeup, a slave apparently enjoying his dinner and a domme about to brain him with a champagne bottle for some reason. Perhaps she think slaves should be christened in the same way ships are?

Identity crisis

I’m going to do something fairly foolish in this post and disagree with someone who doubtless knows their business far better than I do. Not to mention someone who lives locally, swings a mean single tail and could almost certainly kick my ass. I’m talking about Domina Victoria Rage and her recent post on safety and screening when setting up pro-domme sessions.

There’s a lot of good information in it, but I do have to take issue with her suggestion that clients should always use aliases. She goes onto say…

Come to me with a real sounding first and last name and that’s a red flag that you might take my privacy as lightly as you’ve taken your own.
There’s no reason on the planet why personal information should be exchanged on either side, anything you say is a gamble because both of you – just by seeing each other – are in a position to do damage to the personal life of the other.

Anyone I session with, or even just meet, will know my real name. I’ll typically provide it in the first few exchanges of emails. And a domme who expects me not to do that creates a red flag of my own. It suggests to me that she’ll not take my privacy seriously and that the onus is on me to always guard information from her. I’m absolutely sure that’s not the case for Domina Victoria, but I would find it really weird to not use my real name with a domme when I’m trusting her in so many other ways during a session. I would feel inauthentic.

While using an alias is pretty much universal for pro-dommes, it’s certainly not for clients. Some dommes demand a photographic id before a session, or will take credit cards, which instantly rules out fake names. And personally I don’t buy the argument about creating risk to personal lives. I’d be much more worried about crazy ex-girlfriends than pro-dommes. The former typically know your social circle, know your intimate sexual secrets and may have nothing to lose by spreading gossip. That’s a scary mixture. In contrast a pro-domme sharing information risks her professional reputation and therefore her livelihood. She has a strong incentive to keep information private. I’m not saying it has never happened, just that as things to worry about, it’s way down my list.

As an entertaining side anecdote on identify and verification – I once had someone complain that my professional linked-in profile didn’t have enough contacts. I had a 100 or so listed, but she said she preferred to see 200+ before she trusted it! This was someone I’ve never mentioned here, and someone who crossed a few of the legal lines that pro-dommes are typically so strict about. She was therefore far more concerned about legal entrapment and demanded strong proof of identity before she’d meet. I was highly entertained by the fact that my long neglected linked-in profile might suddenly be a kinky sex deal-breaker. I wish I’d know that when I was busy deleting all their spammy emails to update it!

I’ll leave you with a shot from Domina Victoria’s blog. I love the contrast of the white skin, the red nails and the big glorious cock.

New blogs added

Like the title says, I’ve added a number of blogs to my femdom blog page and the dynamic blog roll over on the right. Hopefully many of them will be both new and interesting to my readers. Specifically the added entries are…

I’ve also added my first non-English blog – Lady Lua and net – which is written in Spanish. My foreign language skills extend as far as restaurant menus and cooking terms, so judging blogs is tricky. However, I occasionally get emailed links to non-English blogs that look interesting, so I’ve decided I’ll take a shot with on-line translation tools and include a few that I think might be good.

Also, while I’m on the subject of blogs, does anyone know what happened to Lily over at the Black Leather Belt blog? I always enjoyed her writing and she simply seems to have vanished from the blogosphere.

Finally, the image below is taken from the newly added blog of Mistress Liliane Hunt. She’s a San Francisco based pro-domme, shown here indulging in some puppy play.

The gift that keeps on giving

Stabbity recently put up a post on the well worn expression – “The gift of submission”. This crops up fairly regularly in D/s discussions and I think it’s fair to say that Stabbity is not a fan. She doesn’t like the mismatch between the D/s dynamic and the cultural assumptions that come with a gift. For example, it’s rude to take back a gift, but entirely correct to take back submission should that be desirable and/or necessary.

I agree with her general point, but also dislike the expression as it’s commonly used for a different reason. To me it always seems to have an element of hypocrisy. A gift is given primarily for the benefit of the recipient. I’m not going to give someone a bottle of wine and then expect to be able to drink half of it. Yet submission is almost always about meeting personal needs. Obviously one always wants to do that in a mutually beneficial relationship, but it’s rarely a case of being singularly beneficial for the sake of the domme. In fact, of all the situations where the enjoyment is unevenly distributed, I’d bet that the vast majority skew to favor the submissive. Beating a kinky partner when you’re not really into it is being GGG. Beating an unwilling partner because you’re kinky is abuse.

Despite all these problems, I would like to reclaim or recast the expression. For me when I think about the gift of submission, I think about it being a gift to myself. I’m not sure how I ended up wired as both kinky and submissive, but I do now appreciate that it happened. For many years I compartmentalized that side of myself, treating it as something distinct from who I actually was. Acknowledging it and incorporating it into my life certainly hasn’t made my life simpler, but has made it far richer and more interesting.

In contrast to the standard usage of the phrase, which paints submission in an altruistic light, I’ve often been tempted to see it as a selfish trait. That it’s a flaw in me that will put additional demands on a partner. Thinking of it as something that I’ve been given, as a gift that gives me unusual yet desirable characteristics (plus a rich source of NSFW anecdotes), helps me fight that negative view. It’s not quite a superpower, but it can be a complex-yet-beneficial power.

The image is by JSV Photography. He has a blog here, including this entry on the above photograph. He also has an eBook of bondage for those of you into beautiful women in rope. I originally found the image on the Redhead with a Riding Crop tumblr.

Strange but true

It’s not often that I run across a new kink I haven’t heard of. Many wasted hours on the stranger parts of the internet have left me distressingly well informed about unusual kinks. However, courtesy of this Max Fisch thread, I’ve a new one to add. It’s called slaughtering or pig-play and, as far as I can tell, it means pretending to be a pig while the domme acts out a fake slaughtering process.

I guess I was aware of cannibalism being a kink in itself (thanks to the infamous Armin Meiwes case) but hadn’t realized it was actually something people role-played in scenes. I’ve never seen it offered by a US or British pro-domme, but apparently it’s not unheard of for German ones to do so. I assume something about that culture lends itself to the development of this particular kink. Perhaps raising pigs and butchering them are a more common part of the childhood experience than they are over here.

Personally the idea leaves me absolutely cold. I’ll certainly not be incorporating it into any of my future scenes. However, I’m always happy to expand my knowledge on the odder corners of the kinky world.

The image is of Mistress Kristin. She’s a German pro-domme who offers pig-play.

Extraordinary aim

This is kind of a screwed up image. It’s by German Jim and, like a lot of his work, has a composite feel to it. The vintage drawing seems to have been married with a photograph for the face.

However, artist techniques aside, what’s really odd is the aim of the lady. I’ve done a number of GS scenes and, to be frank, women are not the best aimers in the world. They don’t have the pipework for it. If they can hit my mouth, from a few inches away, seven out of ten times, then I consider myself ahead of the game. Hitting the target from a standing position while staring in a different direction and wearing a big skirt, well that’s a goddam miracle. I’m blessed with better aiming equipment, and I couldn’t pull this shot off. This lady should pee for the Olympics.