Flirting with Mary Jane

According to this documentary footage smoking marijuana turns innocent young women into sex crazed dominatrices. I was not aware of this. Given that the state of Washington has recently legalized pot I guess I should prepare to be grabbed and ravished on any street corner. Loose fitting clothes would seem to be in order.

I actually don’t smoke myself. My collection of vices is already large enough without adding this one. I do have female friends who smoke, and thus far they’ve resisted the urge to pull on a catsuit and whip me. It’s probably too much effort when you’re high. Although I guess giggling a lot and telling confused rambling anecdotes can be a kind of torture for those who aren’t partaking in the evil weed.

Little Mary Sunshine from the musical movie Reefer Madness

The movie clip and image are from the 2005 musical version of Reefer Madness (based on the classic 1936 exploitation flick). The innocent/depraved Mary Lane is played by Kristen Bell.

What were they thinking?

This image was actually my original choice for my previous post about socks in femdom porn. I ended up not using it because I thought it would distract from the basic theme. His socks seemed to be the least of the problems on display.

Porn is notorious for staging scenes in odd uncomfortable places that nobody in their right mind would fuck in. A derelict building, on top of a pool table, halfway up a staircase, public restrooms. Anything is fair game to add a little spice and variety to a shoot. But who fantasies about screwing on an inflatable mattress in what looks like a messy garage? Who sets this scene up and thinks that a dirty soccer ball and some old buckets is just the thing to set the mood for pegging fans? Did nobody involved say “Hey, why don’t we spend a few minutes cleaning up before we start with the ass fucking?”

Pegging in the garage

Socks

This post may meander past some odd topics but, unless things go radically off course, it will finish with some femdom. So stick around. Or not. Your call.

A few days ago, on my post about a boy who locked himself in his parents handcuffs, hmp commented that kids will find everything. I don’t have children, but my own childhood would certainly validate his comment. My parents didn’t have kinky toys, but they did have a couple of sex manuals, including the famously illustrated Joy of Sex. In the days before widespread consumer internet, and with no cable tv, this was my equivalent of kink.com cross with late night Cinemax. No matter where my parents hid it, and they certainly tried lots of places, I could always find it. It was like ESP, only with less ouija boards and more used tissues.

You’d think that reading an educational sex manual designed for loving couples would be good preparation for actually having sex. That it’d help me be a more caring and sensitive partner. And it’s true that I didn’t grow up thinking that a violent jack-hammering followed by semen all over their face was what most women were looking for. Sadly however, none of its wise words stuck with me when I (finally) encountered a real naked and eager woman. Absolutely the only thing I remembered was that it advised men to always take their socks off before removing their trousers (pants in the US) to avoid looking silly. I did that. I was very pleased with myself. My thought process was “Remember socks then trousers … remember socks then trousers … good job … looking pretty suave … naked lady … real naked lady … wow … errrr … is this the foreplay thingy? … I guess I lick … something … maybe …”

Even today when I’m getting naked with someone new, that memory comes back to me. I only wish a few more male porn models and photographers had read the same book, as silly looking naked men in socks crop up all the time. Just in the last few weeks my posts have featured this guy, this guy and  this guy. The image below is another good case in point. Admittedly the Joy of Sex didn’t have anything to say about getting undressed when you’re about to be anally and orally penetrated on a couch by two women wielding strap-ons. Perhaps it would have given a pass in this situation, but I kind of doubt it.

WearingSocks

This image is from the Girls Abuse Guys site. I found it on the Felm Cyber tumblr.

Share the wealth

I’m a fan of Maitresse Madeline. As an independent and a kink.com performer I think she’s produced some interesting material, and I’ve featured some of it here in the past (for example – here, here and here). Apparently I’m not alone in appreciating her work, as somebody just paid $42,000 in an auction for a 1 hour web cam session with her. Assuming it’s not a stunt by the kink.com PR people, I’d guess that’s the most anyone has ever paid for a webcam session.

I’m not somebody who gets upset at rich people spending money. Moving cash from the wealthy to the less wealthy seems a fine thing to do. However, no matter how attractive and talented Maitresse Madeline might be, this didn’t strike me as an entirely optimal use of this gentleman’s kinky dollar. That got me to wondering what kind of alternative experience he could have got for the money.

Let’s stick to the West coast of the US. This guy was from Australia, so a first class round trip ticket will set him back around $6,000. Obviously he’ll need somewhere nice to stop, say a suite at the Beverly Wilshire (setting for the film Pretty Woman) at $1,500 a night. He’ll also need wheels to get around, and a Ferrari 458 runs to around $2,000 a day to hire. If we assume a 5 day trip, and throw in $500 per day for fine dining, that’s $26,000 so far. Now we get to the kinky stuff. I don’t think Maitresse Madeline does private sessions anymore but there are any number of gorgeous and amazingly talented dommes on the West Coast. For example, the famous Isabella Sinclair has recently started offering sessions again. Let’s shoot for an entire weekend of crazy kinky fun. At $300 per hour, that’s $14,400 for 48 hours and grand total of $40,400. That leaves him $1555 to splurge at the Stockroom retail store, with $45 left over to tour the kink.com Armory location.

Or, as a not at all crazy alternative to all this decadence, he could have a 1 hour web cam session. Let’s hope his network connection doesn’t freeze.

Maitresse Madeline

The image shows Maitresse Madeline doing a zippering in a shoot for Divine Bitches. I love the look on his face and the puckering of his skin as the zipper pulls away. Having been in that position many time I can definitely empathize.

Beating in the New Year

I got together with Lydia tonight and we welcomed in the New Year with a medley of paddles, canes and whips. I’m therefore feeling very buzzed and happy right now. What with all the various holiday shenanigans, I didn’t really get chance to play at all in December, so tonight was just what my doctor ordered. Assuming my doctor was a kinky freak who believed in the healing power of pain.

While I go off to admire my marks, I’ll leave you with this appropriately themed artwork by Ron Baker. I’m not sure the physics of it are right, as she’s standing awfully close to be using a whip that long. But there is a appealing energy and flow to the drawing.

Ron Baker

You can see more of his drawings here, although be aware that a lot of them are M/f. I couldn’t track down any biographical information, so if anyone can point me at a suitable page on the artist then feel free to leave a comment.

Always ask nicely

Here’s my final entry in a trio of posts featuring femdom from deviant art artists. This one is by Bakerman and is entitled Overdue Making Up III. I’ve featured his work in the past, and I’ve always enjoyed the humorous and slightly slapstick nature of a lot of his femdom scenarios. In this one it was the ‘Would it be out of line…’ opening that made me smile. It’s a nice juxtaposition of an odd scenario with such a polite and well mannered inquiry. No doubt the man in question is hoping that she’ll find it hard to refuse such a well mannered request from her friend.

Overdue Making Up III by Bakerman

Letting her hair down (and twisting it around)

This image is a nice take on the Rapunzel fairy tale, with an obvious influence from Tangled, the recent Disney version. It’s by the artist iesnoth.

I have to admit that I’ve got a minor kink for long hair, although it’s a relatively recent interest. A few years ago it wouldn’t have been a blip on my kinky radar, but playing with Lydia changed that. She has beautiful long red hair, and tends to incorporate it in subtle ways into a session. She’ll let the edges just brush my skin, let it fold against me, or drift it gently across my face. When I’m in bondage and in pain, that sensual touch, the subtle scent of it, really creates a strong emotional response. It’s a great example of a developed kink, almost a Pavlovian response.

Mine

The wrong kind of sex party

One of the nice things about playing with professionals in dedicated spaces is that you don’t have to worry about hiding the equipment afterwards. There’s no worry that an elderly relative will entangle herself in your sex swing. Or, as happened to this unfortunate couple, your kid will lock himself into your handcuffs. The best bit about that story is that it happened during a family party. That must have made for some interesting smalltalk over the punch bowl.

Handcuffs

I’m guessing there was nothing accidental about the location of the handcuffs in this image. It was originally taken by Patrick Shipstad. I found it on the Design Domme tumblr.