Gags are weird. Visually, in images like this one, I find them crazy hot. That element of control and acceptance of control is a real button pusher. In actual play, my response to them is all over the map. Sometimes I love them and sometimes I hate them, and I’ve never figured out what makes the difference.
They’re not the only toy or activity I have a widely varying response to. For example, anal play can vary from awesome to ‘hell no’, but I typically understand what makes the difference. I’ve never got to that understanding with gags. Perhaps I need to experiment with them more. Despite most dungeons having a big selection of them, in my experience, most pro-dommes don’t use them all that often. Normally you either have to request them as part of the scene, or yell enough to start annoying the neighbors.
This image has been scribbled on my some silly tumblr owner, but I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution. If anyone can help with a pointer to the creator then please let me know via the comments.
Updated: Thanks to Bacchus and this comment I got a clean and color version of the image. That in turn reminded me of an image I posted several years back. Much archive browsing got me to this post, and the conclusion that this image probably came from the sadly defunct Young Goddess site. Source successfully determined!
I’m with you on gags I hate them. They weirdly enough make me gag and feel nauseous and nothing is less erotic than the feeling that you are going to throw up any minute. Fortunately over time I have learnt to take most punishments without making any more noise than the occasional grunt and of course counting, if required, and the obligatory “Thank you Mistress”.
No source for you, but here’s a much larger unscribbled version in original color: http://sobarkingmad.tumblr.com/post/83128706992
Bacchus – you’re a genius. I couldn’t track down an alternative version, but seeing this original color one reminded me of another image I posted years ago. Much head scratching and hunting through my archives later got me to this: http://www.femdom-resource.com/2012/12/29/purple-nurple/
Pretty sure that’s the same couple. Which means the image almost certainly comes from the Young Goddess site. Unfortunately that closed down several years ago. But at least I now have closure on the source of this! Thanks.
-paltego
I don’t always hate gags – sometimes their hot and sometimes not. I do agree that the ones that actually cause me to ‘gag’ and trigger nausea are the least appealing ones. As you say, it’s really hard to get into subspace and zone out if you’re constantly monitoring for potential vomit situations. Open mouth spider style ones typically seem to be the best for me to deal with as they don’t project backwards.
I’m actually pretty noisy, but in most playspaces it doesn’t seem to be too much of an issue, thankfully!
-paltego
I love gags for the power exchange. There’s no way to top from the bottom when wearing one, and it’s hot to know that you can’t express yourself verbally when you’ve been trained to your whole life.
The only problem is that I look hideous when wearing a lot of gags.
I can’t say I’ve ever been accused of or tempted to top from the bottom – but I do agree on hotness of the conflict it sets up. Verbal interaction is incredibly innate, so removing it really pushes buttons. That’s why I like them visually and in fantasy, but other issues can sometimes screw with them in actual scenes (like the nausea element Simon mentioned).
It’s tough to look good in a lot of gags. Although most dommes I’ve played with seem to enjoy that aspect of it!
-paltego
I absolutely adore gags. I’ve written a couple of blogs on the subject. For me it’s making the submissive drool saliva. It’s terribly hot. I’ve done whole sessions around gags and seeing which ones make the sub drool most. It’s very intimate to invade someones mouth. Sometimes it feels way more intimate and personal than invading their ass!
I’ve read and enjoyed your gag blog posts – you definitely have a great collection of them! The drooling thing is kind of strange. My impression of most submissives is that their feelings on drooling vary from it’s kind of OK to yuck. It’s rare I hear them rave about being made to drool. Yet, like you, lots of dommes I’ve played or conversed with love it. It’s odd to get comments about my lovely drool! I think it’s unusual in the way its perceived/enjoyed between domme and sub. And yes, in terms of intimacy, I think it definitely can be more invasive and stressful than anal play.
-paltego
My main objection to any longer-than-pretty-short gag application is that I lose what I love most: the reactions. There might be a trade off here between what might make the bottom feel topped (restriction/control) and what the top gets off on (the audio track, so to speak).
Although I totally get the intimacy of mouth-invasion Lady Annisa mentioned too…
It’s interesting you perceive such a difference with gags from a top perspective. The movie cliche is that a wisp of tape will silence someone, where my experience is that most gags muffle but don’t reduce my sound all that much. Unless you get to the really crazy ones that wrap around the face. Although they definitely do modulate the sound in different ways, and make the submissive more aware of his vocalization, so that definitely interposes with the reactions.
-paltego