Are you OK?

This is a cute and appealing work of art. It manages to be playful and still hit an emotional note. However, that’s not why I featured it. I picked it out because it makes an important point that rarely gets the attention it deserves. The web is full of sexy imagery and descriptions of people doing crazy kinky stuff. There’s an endless parade of people apparently enjoying whatever their partner chooses to throw at them. Sites like kink.com may feature pre and post session interviews, but I’ve yet to see a clip where someone stopped and re-negotiated the scene once it had started. Blogs like this one talk a lot about great scenes, a bit about abusive dysfunctional scenes, but very little about scenes that start with the best of intentions but end up reaching emotional or physical roadblocks.

The reality is that consent is a continuous process. It’s not a box to be ticked pre-scene. Playing with a partner is not a competitive sport, where the goal is to finish or to achieve some previously agreed level of kink. Something that starts well may unexpectedly twist and go sour on you. Even if the fantasy was hot, there’s no guarantee about the reality. I’m sure most submissives have been in this situation where something isn’t right, yet we’re reluctant to stop and disappoint our partners. We act OK, kind-of, right up until we get that clear option to stop. Learning to spot the warning signs and then acting on them correctly is a skill both sides have to develop.

Part1
Part2
I’m not exactly sure who the artist is for this. The earliest tumblr posting I can find is this one, but I’m not clear if it was posted by the actual artist or not.

Author: paltego

See the 'about' page if you really want to know about me.

4 thoughts on “Are you OK?”

  1. Aaw that would have been so much better if the redhead one was a boy! Maybe its because she remind me of myself in my first sexual experience ….hmm

    1. Sadly I think my first time involved so much nervous energy and stress that neither of us would have been as self-aware as these two. They’re way more together than me or my partner at the time. 🙁

      -paltego

  2. Hi Paltego:

    That’s a really sweet cartoon. I can relate to it having experienced those moments myself a couple of times. Something goes wrong in a scene and the D/s roles fall away leaving behind two human beings to care for each other and pick up the pieces. Nice…

    1. Hey hmp,

      Glad you liked it. And yes, I thought it was very sweet as well. I think most people have either been through this “OK?…Yes….No…Sorry” sequence at some point, or more depressingly, can look back on situations where they wish they’d either asked or answered the questions better.

      -paltego

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