I found writing yesterday’s post updating the blog page a touch depressing. Not because of the blogs that I listed, but because of the small number I had.
Whenever I find a potential blog to add (via comments, emails, blogrolls, etc) I bookmark it and keep an eye on it. My criteria for inclusion is pretty simple. It has to be something I want to read. It has to make an effort to spell and punctuate correctly. It has to be updated occasionally. Nothing more than that. Yet so many fail, and almost always on the third criteria. I had around a dozen or so blogs to look at, and when I came to update my page most had either been deleted or become dormant. It’s the same story when I look at people’s blogrolls. Most blogrolls are full of blogs that have ceased to be, are bereft of life and rest in peace. Clearly even the blogroll owners aren’t even looking at them.
There are plenty of articles giving advice on how to write a successful blog, and I’m not going to repeat them here. However, I will make two points that seem particularly relevant to kink blogs, as there’s a couple of pitfalls I regularly see kinky bloggers stumble into.
Firstly, if you want a long lived blog, don’t begin by writing enormously long posts. Every blogging guide suggests posting frequently, and long posts are anathema to that. I think most kinky people get so few chances to express themselves openly that starting a blog triggers a rush of writing. They’re very excited to be sharing a secret part of themselves and want to get all these important hidden thoughts out to the world. Unfortunately a huge wall of text is not great for attracting readers. More importantly, it associates a high cost to writing posts. Once that initial thrill has faded, the thought of continuing to update at that same level of posting is very off-putting. Rather than switch to a more manageable post style, a lot of bloggers simply give up.
Secondly, come up with a variety of post styles that you can switch between. Writing very personal posts about your experiences and relationships is great. And if your life is a continuous whirl of crazy people doing extreme things in unusual places then that’s probably all you need. But for most of us, even those with kinky personal lives, it’s tough to continuously sustain a personal storyline that’s blog-worthy. Great writers can make any situation interesting, the rest of us need a little help from the subject matter. Personally I have a grab bag of post styles I pick from, which I mentally categorize as: Pretty picture, mainstream idiocy, interesting article, my kinky play, BDSM politics, thought for the day, etc. Having those existing mental templates for posts makes regular blogging much easier. There’s no reason anyone should follow my mix of post topics, but blogs that stick purely to ‘my kinky play’ as their subject matter do seem to have the shortest lives.
I’ll finish with a picture of a typical femdom blogger in action. I’m sure all the best posts are written this way. Don’t burst my bubble and tell me otherwise.
I found this image on the Her Butler tumblr. I think it’s a particularly apt one to use, as I’m pretty certain the blogger in question is Ms Marie. For a time she wrote a really excellent femdom blog which featured a lot of shots from her personal life. Sadly, as is often the way of blogs, one day it just vanished with no explanation. The images of her and her husband still pop up on tumblrs from time to time, and they always make me smile. Whatever she’s doing now, I hope all is going well for her.
I remember the Ms Marie Blog very well and even submitted comments.
I agree: this looks very much like Ms Maria and her sub.
Actually, I was not surprised when her Blog disappeared, although I was disappointed.
She gave the impression that she lived in a fairly small rural community and had small children.
Her Blog was often very frank and I thought that she was at serious risk of indentification in the vanilla world, which would not have been ‘helpful’.
I would like to join you in your good wishes to her (hoping that she readrs your columns) and who knows? She migh re-appear at some future date when her home circumstances permit
Yes, she was definitely in a small rural community, and like you I was sometimes surprised by how frank it was. But I guess a small community also reduces the chances of bumping into someone who has seen the blog.
I remember she slowed down blogging before it vanished. So I’m not sure if she simply got tired and deleted it, or as you suggest, had privacy concerns and wiped it because of them.
I’ve no idea if she still reads (she definitely left comments here at one point), but if she does I hope she drops by and let’s us know everything is going well for her!
-paltego
I love your blogroll and have discovered many excellent blogs through it!
As you mentioned, though, I am always sad when I blog I enjoy bites the dust.
I like your blog because I never know what I’m going to get when I open the page…it’s always Femdom-related, but there is enough interjection of your personal life and personality in the writing to keep it really interesting–you know, to establish that intimacy with the reader that is, in my opinion, crucial to good blogging (or most types of authorship).
The images you use are also very imaginative and diverse in scope…and many of them are playful and fun, which is a refreshing change from the “Mistress Cruel Whiplash” style so prevalent in Femdom.
Finally, I envy your travel and vacation time.
That is all. Thanks for blogging!
Thanks Miss Margo. I really appreciate the kind words. Hopefully I can keep surprising and entertaining you with it!
Your blogging style is quite different to mine, and more personal, but I always rush to read your posts whenever I see a new one. Hope you’ll continue sharing and writing as you do. And although happy relationships don’t typically make for entertaining blog fodder, I hope you can find yourself one of those soon as well!
-paltego
Thanks for the compliments on my blog! I appreciate your intellect and taste, so that means a lot to me.
I hope I get a relationship, too. This sexual frustration shit is awful. WTF.
I have great admiration for the quality of your blog, but I’m even more impressed with how well you do it, posting almost every day with interesting writing and images that go with the writing.
You’re one impressive fellow!
I can only hope that you can keep it up (I mean the writing and posting – lol). I know I’ll keep visiting as long as you do.
Thanks scottie. That’s a very nice comment. I appreciate it. As long as I keep finding interesting stuff to write about, or fun images to post, I think the blog will continue to progress.
Cheers!
-paltego