Relieving the stress

In the last couple of posts I talked about stress and panic in BDSM scenes, particularly when playing with sensory deprivation and bondage. Dealing with just that pairing alone can be challenging for a submissive, and it gets even tougher when pain is stirred into the mix. I therefore thought in this third and final post on the topic I’d share a technique that I’ve found helps me deal with such sessions.

What I try and do when the hoods and straps go on, and I feel that first tickle of panic, is to visualize the scene from outside. I try and create a mental model of the room and imagine what a camera would capture. I picture what I must look like, where my limbs are, how they are positioned on the furniture, where the ropes are. I picture the dominant, where I think her body is in relation to mine, what equipment she has. I try to integrate what limited sensory input I have into this mental model – the feel of a cushion, the tightness of a rope, the touch of her hand.

The goal is to overcome the turning inwards that comes with panic. That overwhelming feeling that nothing else matters but to escape. Picturing the scene helps keep a coherent thought processing running. It also ground me in the reality of what is happening. I can ‘see myself’ and reassure myself that I’m in a safe place. Typically doing this mental exercise for a few minutes gets me past difficult moments and into a place where I can relax into the bondage.

A variation on this is just to picture the dominant’s face. I often do this when pain is added to sensory deprivation. It’s an easier picture to create when rational thought is hard. It also allows me to make a stronger emotional connection and to feel that I’m suffering for a purpose. That I’m suffering to please this specific and important person.

I’ll finish with a couple of beautiful faces that I’d be happy to try picturing if they felt like inflicting some pain on me.

The first of these is the actress Famke Janssen, who played Xenia Onatopp in Goldeneye (in action here and here). She also played Jean Grey in the two X-Men films (the third one only exists in an alternate universe I refuse to be a part of). The second shot is Amber Heard, an actress who was in Zombieland (good), The Rum Diary (bad) and the upcoming Robert Rodriguez movie, Machete Kills (who knows). I found both images via the Dominant Ladies tumblr.